Hiring a short term babysitter for my wife and child

[Anonymous]

I wasn't sure how to title this but basically my family is in a predicament. I NEED to travel for work for a week (I may be able to shorten it some but not all) and my wife and son can't be alone. My wife is currently pregnant (not far along so only our parents know) but having a troubled pregnancy so needs to take things easy. She can go to work and things but can't do a lot of things for our very physical 2 year old. Also, she has had to go to the hospital a few times and shouldn't be alone in case that happens again. My parents will be away, her parents are too ill, we have no friends that don't have children. My only solution is to hire someone to help in the early am and in the evenings and overnight. Where does one even look for this very specific type of care? Does anyone have any other ideas that I could be missing?

[Anonymous]

Care.com, Urbansitter. At least on Urbansitter you can put an "ad" for the hours and dates you are looking for and people who are free will respond. You have to pay something to sign up but I have found it to be like the Uber of babysitters--I always find someone, even on short notice.

[Anonymous]

Maybe try White House Nannies?

[Anonymous]

You need 24/7 coverage? Or someone on call for all hours if your wife needs to go to the hospital?

This is going to be really difficult to find and to be certain of. If someone flakes for even part of the time it could be a disaster. Can your wife an child go somewhere else to visit while you're gone?

You also need to talk to all of your friends, including those who have children, and find out who would be willing to either come sleep there with DC if mom has to go to the hospital, or could pick up DC either from the house or hospital and take him/her to their house overnight.

If this is a for-real problematic pregnancy, and not just a nervous mom who could rely on phone calls to the doctor instead of hospital visits, then sitters you've never met before from Care.com or Urbansitter are not going to be reliable enough. I suggest that you call an agency like MetroParentRelief that can also provide backup care. This will be pricey, but it will guarantee coverage.

[Anonymous]

How soon is this trip? College students will start coming home soon, which might make it easier to find someone.

You could ask your friends who have nannies if any of their nannies are interested in some extra money. You could also advertise on Care.com.

[Anonymous]

Alternatively, could she and your son go with you? This is the last resort, of course, because she'd have to take a week's vacation when she probably wants to conserve it for her maternity leave, but that is an option. during the day she'd hang around in public (pool, lobby, whatever) so she wouldn't "be alone" and and in the evenings and overnight you'd be there.

[Anonymous]

Ask on here in the nany forums

[Anonymous]

I am the PP who suggested urbansitter, but I see I ignored the "wife might need to go to the hospital" part of your post. Urbansitter should work for finding someone to come help her out in the mornings and evenings while you're gone so she doesn't have to lift your child, etc.

But if you may need someone to come in a pinch if your wife has to go to the hospital, I think you need to ask a friend. If you (plural--your wife needs to be involved in this decision) dont want to tell anyone about the pregnancy, you could just tell them she is having health issues and may need to go to the hospital while you're away, and could they please be backup to take care of your child if that happens. I would do that for a close friend even though I have kids. (Obviously ask someone for whom it is logistically possible, i.e., someone with a co-partner who is around.)

Or, if you absolutely can't find anyone, you can't go on the work trip. You'll have to tell your employer it's a family medical situation so you can't be out of town. But that seems like a last resort.

[Anonymous]

Thanks for the feedback so far. I will look into all these various agencies. I started to look a bit on care.com and sittercity but was not impressed with the people on there but I didn't do a deep dive.

To answer some questions, we don't need 24/7 coverage but close. My wife does work nearby and is able to go to work my son goes to daycare. I would want someone to be there from 6pm-6am daily.

No one knows about the pregnancy outside of immediate family yet and because of the issues we don't feel comfortable sharing. We also only have 2 close friends mutual in the area and both are married with children. My wife has some friends but she met them though work and we don't want to mix business and work. Regardless, everyone has families of their own and no one has nannies.

The trip in a little over a week so soon. We were hoping something would work out with family but that has fallen though.

My wife is quite nervous at the moment because of her and our baby's health but she isn't just a "nervous mom". She is the most put together, stiff upper lip type of person I know. She often takes care of our child for long stretches while I travel. She just started to experience some complications almost 2 weeks ago and is on some restrictions.

I would love if my wife could come with me but I think we both want her to stay close to her doctors and not be on a plane across the country. Also, even if this was just a case of her being nervous not unwell, we couldn't afford two last minute plane tickets and she couldn't afford the time off when she works for a company that is too small for FMLA and has to take sick and personal time for her maternity leave at the end of the year.

I know there are a lot of roadblocks but that is just our reality. I would think someone else has been in a slightly similar position.

[Anonymous]

I think you should consider telling a close friend. I'd want my friends in need to reach out.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Thanks for the feedback so far. I will look into all these various agencies. I started to look a bit on care.com and sittercity but was not impressed with the people on there but I didn't do a deep dive.

To answer some questions, we don't need 24/7 coverage but close. My wife does work nearby and is able to go to work my son goes to daycare. I would want someone to be there from 6pm-6am daily.

No one knows about the pregnancy outside of immediate family yet and because of the issues we don't feel comfortable sharing. We also only have 2 close friends mutual in the area and both are married with children. My wife has some friends but she met them though work and we don't want to mix business and work. Regardless, everyone has families of their own and no one has nannies.

The trip in a little over a week so soon. We were hoping something would work out with family but that has fallen though.

My wife is quite nervous at the moment because of her and our baby's health but she isn't just a "nervous mom". She is the most put together, stiff upper lip type of person I know. She often takes care of our child for long stretches while I travel. She just started to experience some complications almost 2 weeks ago and is on some restrictions.

I would love if my wife could come with me but I think we both want her to stay close to her doctors and not be on a plane across the country. Also, even if this was just a case of her being nervous not unwell, we couldn't afford two last minute plane tickets and she couldn't afford the time off when she works for a company that is too small for FMLA and has to take sick and personal time for her maternity leave at the end of the year.

I know there are a lot of roadblocks but that is just our reality. I would think someone else has been in a slightly similar position.

my guess is that getting overnight care for a week will be more expensive than two last minute plane tickets.

[Anonymous]

I am also a stiff upper lip type and would not want to share/lean on friends or even extended family, so I get your wife's preferences. I would start by asking at your son's day care if any of the providers would do this (obviously for a lot of extra pay) - I know at my children's day care, the providers are usually eager to pick up extra money babysitting on the weekends. I'd also call White House nannies - they will be able to help, but it will not be cheap! You really only need to have someone on hand who can help with your son and/or stay with him if your wife had to go to the doctor or hospital (knock wood she won't), because your wife could take an uber or call and ambulance if she had to leave in the middle of the night (I don't mean to sound blase, but btdt and if that's what you've gotta do, then you do it).

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Thanks for the feedback so far. I will look into all these various agencies. I started to look a bit on care.com and sittercity but was not impressed with the people on there but I didn't do a deep dive.

To answer some questions, we don't need 24/7 coverage but close. My wife does work nearby and is able to go to work my son goes to daycare. I would want someone to be there from 6pm-6am daily.

No one knows about the pregnancy outside of immediate family yet and because of the issues we don't feel comfortable sharing. We also only have 2 close friends mutual in the area and both are married with children. My wife has some friends but she met them though work and we don't want to mix business and work. Regardless, everyone has families of their own and no one has nannies.

The trip in a little over a week so soon. We were hoping something would work out with family but that has fallen though.

My wife is quite nervous at the moment because of her and our baby's health but she isn't just a "nervous mom". She is the most put together, stiff upper lip type of person I know. She often takes care of our child for long stretches while I travel. She just started to experience some complications almost 2 weeks ago and is on some restrictions.

I would love if my wife could come with me but I think we both want her to stay close to her doctors and not be on a plane across the country. Also, even if this was just a case of her being nervous not unwell, we couldn't afford two last minute plane tickets and she couldn't afford the time off when she works for a company that is too small for FMLA and has to take sick and personal time for her maternity leave at the end of the year.

I know there are a lot of roadblocks but that is just our reality. I would think someone else has been in a slightly similar position.

my guess is that getting overnight care for a week will be more expensive than two last minute plane tickets.

Yea, but if she's on some sort of restrictions due to pregnancy, travel is probably inadvisable.

[jsteele]

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