Can a newly divorced woman with 2 kids live off of 4000 per month?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I'm in NoVa so similar COL. 4000k would be net amount. Can't do 2 bedroom cause 1 boy and 1 girl.

Boy/girl siblings can totally share a bedroom.

Many apartments will not rent if it means boys/girls share a bedfroom.

That's insane. Then say the girl will share the bedroom with her mom. Are they going to come check out the bedroom layout?

Is that even legal for a landlord to discriminate in that way????

The only situation in which I've heard of rules for boy/girl bedrooms is with foster kids.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Is that 4K net, or gross? It all depends on where you live (people post on here from other parts of the country).

Assuming a relatively high cost-of-living area, like DC - If it's gross, I say it's going to be damn near impossible. If it's net, you might be able to make it work but it will be tight, and tough. What if the kids need braces? Want to go to summer camp/need hockey equipment? The car needs a new transmission? I mean, you do what you've got to do, and if you've got to leave an abusive guy, you leave and make it work with whatever finances you've got, but try to get as much child support as you can.

PP, here's the thing. Having had a father like this and grown up with a single mother, you don't get braces. I have crooked ass teeth to this day but it was better than my alcoholic father yelling at me and beating the shit out of me for the smallest "infraction." We didn't go to summer camp. We didn't get to play expensive sports. When the car broke down that shit got paid for on a credit card. I agree that OP needs to take her STBX for every penny she can get. But if the kids have to go without some of the luxuries of modern life they will survive. They really will. And trust me, OP's kids will thank her as adults when they are able to truly understand what she's doing for them.

Not the OP, but thanks for injecting a much needed dose of reality on this thread. Some of these people are completely out of touch and living in their own affluent worlds. MOST people get by on 4k or less per month, and aren't particularly concerned with hockey practice, ffs.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I'm in NoVa so similar COL. 4000k would be net amount. Can't do 2 bedroom cause 1 boy and 1 girl.

Boy/girl siblings can totally share a bedroom.

Many apartments will not rent if it means boys/girls share a bedfroom.

That's insane. Then say the girl will share the bedroom with her mom. Are they going to come check out the bedroom layout?

It's insane because it is complete bullshit. example of idiot on the web.

[Anonymous]

Be careful about the credit score. If it's bad, you won't be able to rent an apartment. I have a sibling that this happened to (after a divorce in which the ex had wrecked the credit by over-spending during the recession) and it was really hard to find a rental...

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Is that 4K net, or gross? It all depends on where you live (people post on here from other parts of the country).

Assuming a relatively high cost-of-living area, like DC - If it's gross, I say it's going to be damn near impossible. If it's net, you might be able to make it work but it will be tight, and tough. What if the kids need braces? Want to go to summer camp/need hockey equipment? The car needs a new transmission? I mean, you do what you've got to do, and if you've got to leave an abusive guy, you leave and make it work with whatever finances you've got, but try to get as much child support as you can.

PP, here's the thing. Having had a father like this and grown up with a single mother, you don't get braces. I have crooked ass teeth to this day but it was better than my alcoholic father yelling at me and beating the shit out of me for the smallest "infraction." We didn't go to summer camp. We didn't get to play expensive sports. When the car broke down that shit got paid for on a credit card. I agree that OP needs to take her STBX for every penny she can get. But if the kids have to go without some of the luxuries of modern life they will survive. They really will. And trust me, OP's kids will thank her as adults when they are able to truly understand what she's doing for them.

Not the OP, but thanks for injecting a much needed dose of reality on this thread. Some of these people are completely out of touch and living in their own affluent worlds. MOST people get by on 4k or less per month, and aren't particularly concerned with hockey practice, ffs.

Furthermore my child plays lacrosse. NO CHILD gets left out due to economic need. There is a whole organization in our community that collects new and used equipment and the club will waive fees for kids who need it waived. That cushion is built into the fees that the rest of us play. Even on our private travel team there are scolarship available that waive the 1300 fee to play.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I'm in NoVa so similar COL. 4000k would be net amount. Can't do 2 bedroom cause 1 boy and 1 girl.

Boy/girl siblings can totally share a bedroom.

Many apartments will not rent if it means boys/girls share a bedfroom.

Why do you always say this in these threads? There is no law against siblings sharing a room!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Be careful about the credit score. If it's bad, you won't be able to rent an apartment. I have a sibling that this happened to (after a divorce in which the ex had wrecked the credit by over-spending during the recession) and it was really hard to find a rental...

She would very easily qualify for rent controlled apartment. They have lower credit standards. There is NO reason stick with an sbuser. Especially because of credit.

[Anonymous]

I'm a divorcing mom. OP-I'd also encourage you to let people in your life know what's going on. You don't have to share everything, just a "I need to move with the kids and things are going to be tight at first, but it's really for the best." I've gotten a lot of offers of different kinds of support from friends, family, coworkers-if you have a church community that could be a great resource. I recently met a woman who is in real estate and keeps one apt that she rents out below market to people in need-which is just to say that if you put it out there, you may find people in your community who want to help. All the best to you!

[Anonymous]

I'm curious if this is 4000 that actually hits your paycheck or is this pretax? DH makes 100k and after insurance, taxes, fully funded 401k and everything else we end up with 2000 a paycheck. More than enough to live on (we bank my entire salary).

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I'm curious if this is 4000 that actually hits your paycheck or is this pretax? DH makes 100k and after insurance, taxes, fully funded 401k and everything else we end up with 2000 a paycheck. More than enough to live on (we bank my entire salary).

I wondered that too, but it sounds like it is paycheck plus drawing on savings.

If it's her net paycheck, I am waaaay underpaid (director-level, 12 years of experience with no break).

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Is that 4K net, or gross? It all depends on where you live (people post on here from other parts of the country).

Assuming a relatively high cost-of-living area, like DC - If it's gross, I say it's going to be damn near impossible. If it's net, you might be able to make it work but it will be tight, and tough. What if the kids need braces? Want to go to summer camp/need hockey equipment? The car needs a new transmission? I mean, you do what you've got to do, and if you've got to leave an abusive guy, you leave and make it work with whatever finances you've got, but try to get as much child support as you can.

PP, here's the thing. Having had a father like this and grown up with a single mother, you don't get braces. I have crooked ass teeth to this day but it was better than my alcoholic father yelling at me and beating the shit out of me for the smallest "infraction." We didn't go to summer camp. We didn't get to play expensive sports. When the car broke down that shit got paid for on a credit card. I agree that OP needs to take her STBX for every penny she can get. But if the kids have to go without some of the luxuries of modern life they will survive. They really will. And trust me, OP's kids will thank her as adults when they are able to truly understand what she's doing for them.

Not the OP, but thanks for injecting a much needed dose of reality on this thread. Some of these people are completely out of touch and living in their own affluent worlds. MOST people get by on 4k or less per month, and aren't particularly concerned with hockey practice, ffs.

Likewise. We had zero summer camp growing up. Playing outside, going to local pool once in awhile (drop in rates), watch tv, go to the library. I got braces as an adult. 5 of us were in a 2 bedroom apartment. Everything was fine. Only rich kids are running around playing hockey and lacrosse. The rest of us played sports where someone just needs to show up with a ball.

[Anonymous]

If that is 4K net, then, sure, you can live on it in NoVA with 2 kids. You'll need to budget wisely. Focus on free activities for the kids - there are SO many in this area. Cook and eat at home. Consignment sales and hand-me-downs can help with clothing. Get used bikes for all of you to save on driving and gas.

I shared a bedroom with my older brother 'till I was 11 and he was 12. It was fine. I also never took a private lesson or went to camp. Survived and got full scholarships to college. Things that people think are "needs" around here are really "wants". On 4K, you can certainly meet a family's needs unless you have major medical or therapy needs that insurance doesn't cover.

If you're drawing down savings to make up that 4K, then you should consider applying for needs-based assistance for housing and other services as well. Don't burn all your savings.

[Anonymous]

You could get a 3 bedroom townhouse near Ft Belvoir for 1400/month. I'm sure there are other areas that you could do the same that are close to DC but still affordable. It would be tight, but totally doable to live off 4k a month.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I'm curious if this is 4000 that actually hits your paycheck or is this pretax? DH makes 100k and after insurance, taxes, fully funded 401k and everything else we end up with 2000 a paycheck. More than enough to live on (we bank my entire salary).

Same.

[Anonymous]

It depends on the kids ages, but it's completely inappropriate for different sex kids to be sharing rooms once they've reached middle school age or so. I don't care how any of you all grew up, but if there is a custody battle that will ensue, mom making her teenage boy/girl siblings share a room while dad has room to actually accommodate them to allow privacy will not make mom look good.

If you were going through puberty and conscious about your body, would you want your brother sleeping a few feet from you every night? If you were a boy and waking up with erections, would you want to wake up with your sister next to you?