8 month old "kicked out" of home day care

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Where are you OP? I know a fabulous, loving in-home provider in Silver Spring who has an opening. My DC went there.

I am in silver spring... Would love to hear more about your dcp.... How to connect?

[Anonymous]

They worked with my then 7 month old at our Center Daycare. Sounds like the provider you chose just doesn't want to deal with it.

I would try a nanny, nanny share, or center daycare. Or another home daycare where the provider has a bit more patience.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I don't think it has anything to do with the daycare provider not being able to handle your DD.
I will give it to you straight: your child is difficult and she doesn't want to deal with her. An 8 month-old should never have to be rocked for 10 minutes (likely longer for her) to go to sleep, especially when your daughter naps 2x per day.
As a childcare provider, I have found that the more high-needs a child (even that young), the more difficult the parents are. I would rather fill the spot with a baby who won't cling to me all day. Your baby needs a part-time nanny.
You need to work on this OP.

I agree with this. I am a daycare provider also. High needs children make it very hard for the other children to have a fair amount of attention as well. I remember having a child here that was a bit high needs. Had him for almost 1 year, worked with the parents in having them drop in as well as having a therapist coming in to work with the child. This meant having to adjust MY schedule to accommodate this need as well as keeping the other children out of the way and quiet while the therapist worked with the child. When I had my own adult daughter assist me one day while I went to a dr appt, the mother ased me if she realized her child needed my daughters Undivided attention. I guess she was to ignore everyone else in the house. The final straw came when she didnt feel I could handle having to put her child on the school bus and a newborn in the house and that was when I finally said look, I worked wit you on everything else, if after a year you havent seen I can handle this, time to move on. And she did, never heard another word from her. To be honest, I have to agree. The more difficult a child, the more difficult it is to work with the parents.

And for those who want to blame the provider, I would like to see you handle a roomfull of children, at naptime, trying to feed one a bottle possibly while trying to rock another for TEN minutes to sleep. Etc. Not saying it isnt impossible but somewhere along the way someone is going to get ignored or not given their fair amount of time. And that is not fair to either the one needing to be rocked nor to those other parents who are also paying good money for the care of their child.

Just my 2 cents

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I don't think it has anything to do with the daycare provider not being able to handle your DD.
I will give it to you straight: your child is difficult and she doesn't want to deal with her. An 8 month-old should never have to be rocked for 10 minutes (likely longer for her) to go to sleep, especially when your daughter naps 2x per day.
As a childcare provider, I have found that the more high-needs a child (even that young), the more difficult the parents are. I would rather fill the spot with a baby who won't cling to me all day. Your baby needs a part-time nanny.
You need to work on this OP.

But as a daycare provider, don't you have your own nap routine that you do with the kids and don't you have a transition process? Even babies understand that things work differently with different people - baby may nurse to sleep with mom, but obviously not with dad, and baby learns a new way to sleep when at daycare.

My provider has a set routine for naps and in her experience, kids adjust within a week, but for the first week, she's in transition mode with the kid - new baby goes down first, more experienced kids go down next since there's no fuss, then DCP circles back to newbie to rinse and repeat the routine as many times as needed. OP's provider is odd for not having a transition process and I'm a little curious how you can be a daycare provider without having one either.

I am a daycare provider but NOT the one you are quoting. all providers are different, would really depend on individual situation, number of children in care, schedules, etc.

In my experience, I state in my contract I give it at least one month unless for some reason we see prior to that things really are not working out. It would have to be something really drastic. I had a child who started withh me at the age of 8-9 months old. All he had been around was is mom and family members who held him all the time. He Cried for ONE MONTH. I couldnt keep my windows open because i had a neighbor who would ask me what was wrong with this child for crying all the time. No matter how much I held him, rocked him, soothed him, etc. He screamed. I stuck it out for one month and just as I was getting ready to tell mom I just couldnt do it anymore, that it wasnt fair to him or the other kids (I had kids who would sit here with their hands over their ears) he stopped the crying. He ended up being one of my BEST daycare kids, I watched him from that time until he was entering 5th grade. I am thankful I stuck it out that long.

[Anonymous]

For those who criticize daycare providers, I would love to see you do daycare for a week. Wonder how fast you all would quit before the week was up!

A lot of parents I have been around cant even handle their own child, let alone a room of little ones

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:For those who criticize daycare providers, I would love to see you do daycare for a week. Wonder how fast you all would quit before the week was up!

A lot of parents I have been around cant even handle their own child, let alone a room of little ones

I agree, it's a hard job and not for everyone. The "not for everyone" types should just do us all a favor and close business.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I wouldn't be rocking the kid. Why did you let that habit develop?

Yes, why did you nurture and love your child? Didn't you know you're supposed to ignore a baby?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I wouldn't be rocking the kid. Why did you let that habit develop?

Yes, why did you nurture and love your child? Didn't you know you're supposed to ignore a baby?

Ha ha!

[Anonymous]

I'm a new poster, and I'm going to have my DD start at a family home daycare soon at around 8 months of age. Our routine is to rock for 5 minutes before DD gets put down drowsy but awake to settle in for her nap. Does this seem unreasonable? It's 5 minutes exactly - I look at my watch.

[Anonymous]

It doesn't matter what age a child is, when they start daycare for the first time adjustment periods are the norm. I'd be glad the provider told you now and you can find someone better before your little one builds a bond Sucky provider for sure if they can not meet an infants need. Shouldn't have accepted you in the first place! It makes me sad to hear these kinds of stories, because what should happen is this: the provider welcomes your child with all their individual needs and does their best to meet those needs. There is nothing wrong with your child and nothing wrong with your parenting. You have an infant.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:It doesn't matter what age a child is, when they start daycare for the first time adjustment periods are the norm. I'd be glad the provider told you now and you can find someone better before your little one builds a bond Sucky provider for sure if they can not meet an infants need. Shouldn't have accepted you in the first place! It makes me sad to hear these kinds of stories, because what should happen is this: the provider welcomes your child with all their individual needs and does their best to meet those needs. There is nothing wrong with your child and nothing wrong with your parenting. You have an infant.

And yes, I am a daycare provider

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I'm a new poster, and I'm going to have my DD start at a family home daycare soon at around 8 months of age. Our routine is to rock for 5 minutes before DD gets put down drowsy but awake to settle in for her nap. Does this seem unreasonable? It's 5 minutes exactly - I look at my watch.

It won't be 5 minutes at daycare. That's at home, with you.

Is your provider aware of this? Is she willing to rock your DD to sleep, and how much of a transition time does she give?

[Anonymous]

It's a sign of a bad daycare. She should have dealt with tons of kids and what you are describing is not that unusual. Who cares if you rock her-- the caregiver should have worked with you.
She seems unprofessional and not a good person to trust your daughter with.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:It's a sign of a bad daycare. She should have dealt with tons of kids and what you are describing is not that unusual. Who cares if you rock her-- the caregiver should have worked with you.
She seems unprofessional and not a good person to trust your daughter with.

That is BS. I am tired of hearing parents who say "oh, bad daycare" simply because a provider cant cater to the way a parent does. Sorry but rocking a child to sleep for 10 minutes every naptime doesnt always cut it when there are other children in the home. Flip side, how would you like it if she was rocking another child and having to ignore your childs needs during that time? I am betting it wouldnt go over too well. This is why parents need to teach their child to self soothe.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:It's not necessarily normal for a provider to give up after 5 days - that's the minimum amount of time it takes for a baby to adjust, IME. She may have been less patient with your family because you're a part time client rather than full time. Please don't take the nanny comment to heart - that's what any DCP says when they don't want to accommodate you. I've had providers say that to me because we use cloth diapers - plenty of providers accept cloth, but those who don't try to convince me only a nanny would do that. Not really worth engaging when a DCP pulls that card on you, IMO.

I wouldn't question your parenting decisions just because the transition wasn't smooth after 1 week - we had a 15-20 minute nap routine with our daughter that no DCP would have been able to replicate, but after a week our DD adjusted to the DCP's nap routine. The fact that yours wouldn't give it another week just says that she didn't really need or want your business. Maybe some one else came along looking for fill a full time spot. I would just look for some one else - I'm sure the next one will be a better match.

A 100 times this! Finally the voice of reason in a choir of crazy assumptions that a 8 mo old us ruined for life by being rocked to sleep.