Advice for leaving 2 year old for 6 day vacation

[Anonymous]

OP - Ignore the negative posts and take your vacation. It's easy to be smug and judgmental when posting anonymously. There is nothing wrong with taking a break. We're talking about six days here, not sending your 2 year old off to boarding school! Do what works for you, just because you're a parent doesn't mean you have to be a martyr. You and your DH deserve to be happy.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Do you have Skype?

No no no no no! This is terrible for a 2 year old and will surely lead to tears. They can't understand and will desperately want/need you to come out of the computer or phone. I have to travel for work and learned through much trial and error that about 5 is the youngest to contact kids when away. Out of sight, out of mind is by far the best approach for younger children.

I think this varies by child. We Skyped 2 yo DS while we were on a 4 day vacation (and he was with grandparents) and he happily waved, babbled stories at us, and then wandered away back to his toys. I also Skype him from occasional nights away on business and he says hi and is curious to see out my hotel window. Contacting him this way has never made him upset.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:No advice except to say that since this is DCUM, I feel free to say that I do actually think you are terrible to leave your 2 year old for 6 days. You really didn't need to do a 6 day vacation. And one vacation isn't going to save your marriage. You'd be better off doing an hour of marriage counseling a week.

Yeah, it's terrible for parents to work to strengthen their marriage in the way they feel is best! Awful! How terrible.

I'd rather have a mom that spent six days away from me with my dad, than a mom that trolled the internet trying to make people feel terrible for stupid reasons. If you were my mom, I'd be embarrassed and ashamed. I am going to go hug my mom.

[Anonymous]

OP, please ignore all the crazy "you should never be away from your child for a moment/you are selfish and a bad mother for doing so" posters. Your marriage is important. Your mental health is important. Both of these also affect your child. Taking a much needed break is better for everyone in your family. End of story.

[Anonymous]

Wow- sorry OP that you have to wade through all that judgment. We've taken said trip twice now. Once for a baby moon when dd was 2 and then again when dd was 3 and little one was 10 months. Both trips were incredible and desperately needed. My parents flew in to watch the kids and loved it both times. They said it was a great bonding experience and that they really had an opportunity to learn about our little ones without us in the way. My mom felt bad because she said that the dd never asked where we were. People used to do this stuff a lot. When I was little, my parents used to take a vacation and we'd stay with my aunt and then cousins would stay with us. I work FT as does my husband. I love my kids to death but now is the time to take that trip without them. They don't miss you and they don't have the desire to go with you. We bemoan the fact that this coming year (we do the Caribbean in February) will probably be our last year because then we'll probably be saving for Disney or something. I don't know though, hopefully we can manage to work it in every other year. Do it. Reconnect. If you are in a good place so much the better for your little one.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:6 days with a paid sitter so you can get a break from parenting? Wow. No advice on how to feel less guilty or how to ease your child's anxieties. Just wow.

Wow what? Are you ok?

[Anonymous]

Op, I would feel the same but as a non of older kids, go, enjoy, don’t feel guilty, reconnect with dh and with yourself.

It will make no difference to your child long term. Investing in your marriage matters a lot. I know a lot of couples splitting as their kids get to HS and college, because without the kids’ needing them, they don’t have any connection as a couple. This sucks for everyone and is worth avoiding if you can.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:6 days with a paid sitter so you can get a break from parenting? Wow. No advice on how to feel less guilty or how to ease your child's anxieties. Just wow.

+1

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP, this guilt and anxiety will not help you to repair your marriage, it will only add resentment towards DH who insisted on doing this.
I had similar requests from my DH and didn't do it for the reasons stated above.
I am all for a day trip type getaway but not longer.
I am not writing this to impose more guilt on you. I am sure your LO will be fine and I fully understand you. I think your DH is a bit selfish though.

+1, but I would delete the words "a bit" because he is selfish, not a bit selfish.

+1

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Op, I would feel the same but as a non of older kids, go, enjoy, don’t feel guilty, reconnect with dh and with yourself.

It will make no difference to your child long term. Investing in your marriage matters a lot. I know a lot of couples splitting as their kids get to HS and college, because without the kids’ needing them, they don’t have any connection as a couple. This sucks for everyone and is worth avoiding if you can.

OP’s kid is 14 now. Someone revived a 12 year old thread.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:6 days with a paid sitter so you can get a break from parenting? Wow. No advice on how to feel less guilty or how to ease your child's anxieties. Just wow.

Wow what? Are you ok?

Are YOU okay? It's not 2012 anymore.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Op, I would feel the same but as a non of older kids, go, enjoy, don’t feel guilty, reconnect with dh and with yourself.

It will make no difference to your child long term. Investing in your marriage matters a lot. I know a lot of couples splitting as their kids get to HS and college, because without the kids’ needing them, they don’t have any connection as a couple. This sucks for everyone and is worth avoiding if you can.

OP’s kid is 14 now. Someone revived a 12 year old thread.

So... update, OP? Does he hate you now?

[Anonymous]

3-4 days max. Somewhere with direct flight options home. Do you have backup in case babysitter gets sick?

[Anonymous]

My parents left me for a week when I was around 2. I didn’t let them near me for weeks after they got back. I screamed bloody murder when they tried to touch me. My brother had to change my diapers.

[Anonymous]

I wish OP would come back and let us know what happened. I would bet $1000 she is now divorced from her DH, who only got more controlling and more immature. Given how passive OP was (unable to just say “no, six days is too long. We can go on a 3 day trip”) it’s possible that her DH was the one who initiated the divorce when he decided that he “deserved better” than normal family life.