Should I homeschool dc?
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Anonymous
I know many kids who are fine or doing very well in virtual and no issues with the parents at home. They don't need to be in school to learn to deal with everyone else... you can teach that in other ways. It may not work for your family but it works for many other families and it might work for OP but there is a huge time commitment and it doesn't sound like OP can do that. |
Anonymous
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OP, the problem with asking homeschooling questions on DCUM is that you will get a lot of feedback from people who have never homeschooled and don't actually know anything about it. Homeschooling has been great for my kid, but I am able to teach them one on one (which is how they learn best),and I am available to drive them to their activities where they get time with other kids.
Might I suggest you pose your question also to some homeschool groups? I like these groups, for example: https://www.facebook.com/groups/441792022666177 https://www.facebook.com/groups/1239263679419074 |
Anonymous
OP here. She's complained for a long time about being bored. Come to find out, she had been told to 'put her head down' when finished early, which she perceived as punishment (I agree with her, and reached out to the teacher about it). She'd had a few other 'sad days', then I had a crisis this past winter/spring with an ill parent (who has passed) and I think she held a lot in during that. Now she won't eat at lunch and is sitting inside for recess. Also, this school's expression of religion is more performative than ours (although we share the same basic beliefs) and she feels a way about that, and I agree with her. She was seeing a therapist (virtually) we had paused a bit back because she seemed to be doing well. I have reached out to therapist waiting to hear back. I have looked into the public school's GT academy-it's a 200 or so student group housed in a 1400 student school. It's not an autism program, but some of the kids are neurodiverse. I'm open to exploring this option more (maybe shadowing?). But with her sensory issues I worry (her private has one class per grade). In there, she'd have an IEP (she had one as a preschooler which has expired, she's been in private since K). I'm not interested in our local zoned es. There are a few other small privates that have kids with sn, but I think academically she would not be challenged as she is 2E. There is one private that has some kids like her and they also get to ride and care for horses, but she is scared of horses! I appreciate having this forum to discuss and learn from. IRL I'm sort of isolated when it comes to this stuff-I'm an older mom who works with mostly men, I do know some moms of kids with sn but their kids needs are different than mine. The ones I know with a kid like mine homeschool. |
Anonymous
How old was your child? Virtual for a small child with basic educational needs who still gets primary socializing through the family is one thing. Virtual for an older, gifted child who needs access to advanced teachers and facilities (eg science labs) and needs to learn to navigate peers is another thing. Removing a child on the spectrum from a setting where *they have friends* and isolating them at home is just wrong. |
Anonymous
You’re still off the mark. Parents cannot teach what the school environment teaches, because they are home, not school. All of our kids need to learn to navigate the outside world. |
Anonymous
Is your child on the spectrum? How old? Do they have any true friendships? Do they have the opportunity to spend unstructured, self-directed time with peers or is it all adult-led activities? |
Anonymous
OP a small, self-contained gifted program in a public school is a literal dream for many of us with 2e kids. The current school doesn’t sound like a great fit but literally nothing you wrote justifies completely pulling her from a mainstream setting and isolating her at home. PLEASE start the process of getting her an IEP which possibly could include placement in the gifted program. Look around for special ed attorneys/consultants who could help. You are under no obligation to send her there but you won’t have the option if you don’t start now. Also on what basis do you reject your zoned ES? You should visit it in person and talk to the staff. Don’t make assumptions. None of what you described sounds like extreme stress or behavioral issues. It’s pretty common for kids to start complaining about school around 3rd grade, when they start to be “big kids.” Often the actual situation at school is much different. Please look into the SPACE approach for parents with anxious kids. I see a ton of evidence in your post that you cannot tolerate thinking that she will be anxious. But over-accomodating anxiety is the exact opposite of what our kids need. If she says she’s scared of horses - fine, let her say that. She can get used to them on her own timeline. If she doesn’t like outdoor recess and sits inside where it’s quiet - fine too! That just means she’s figuring out how to navigate her environment. Many an NT person has preferred a solo lunch at work, yeah? |
Anonymous
Older child. They still did labs and many other things. We just bought the supplies. You clearly are not familiar with all virtual schools. |
Anonymous
| Op, please get her evaluated and therapy. Look at the public and other schools as this is not a good fit. A larger school isn’t always bad. It’s very teacher specific. Teacher should let her read when work is done. Not put her head down. |
Anonymous
You can’t replicate labs like that, lol. |
Anonymous
Also - of course a well-adjusted, NT child might do just fine in virtual. They will make friends outside of school, pick up social skills naturally, and be able to pay attention to a screen and tolerate not being around peers most of the day. A SN child is very different. |
Anonymous
OP here-we're going to her pediatrician in a few hours. I'm trying to do all the things  I'm going to tour the horsey school soon. And will think more about the public gt school. I am really trying to look at all options not just homeschool, but including it.
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Anonymous
Just remember that homeschool is not a long term plan. |
Anonymous
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No way would I home school. I would work with the school to try to find more stimulating school work for her or I would find another similar school first.
She needs socialization and you don't have time to do virtual or home school and then do those home school groups to get her to socialize. I think she'll suffer more in the long-term and she will be more isolated if you do virtual or homeschooling with both parents working full time. |
Anonymous
OP here-I meant to thank you for your perspective as an autistic person, a person with autism. |