13 and 9 home alone together - two hours away for about 7 hours? (All day time hours)

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:https://www.montgomerycountymd.gov/mcfrs-info/Resources/Files/Home%20Alone/homealone.pdf

That is a long time, and you will be far away if something happens. I'd probably get a sitter, OP.

A sitter for a 13 year old, GTFO.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I'd get a sitter.

Many 13 years olds are sitters. I would be comfortable with this.

I’d be comfortable with my 13 yr old babysitting someone else’s 9 yr old. But her own sibling in own house? No

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Yep, I’d do it and not think twice. I was 12 years old and babysitting an 8 year old, 4 year old, and 2 year old. No cell phones, no immediate way to reach parents. Lay the ground rules, let a neighbor or friend know what’s up, and go.

My DD is almost 12 and is nowhere near responsible enough to do this. I’d be ok with. Her being a mother’s helper but not babysitting. It’s great you did it and everyone survived but that doesn’t mean it should be the norm.
OP I would only do this if I had a trusted neighbor/friend/family member close by. 2 hours away is too far.

There’s also a big difference between 11 (the age of your kid) and 13 (the age of OPs oldest). You’re basically comparing a rising 6th grader to a rising 8th grader, when your 6th grader starts MS next year you will understand the gap between those ages better.

Op here. My 13yo is actually rising 9th grade. Which I know seems a little old for a babysitter so I am reading all replies. 9yo is rising 5th in our home.

Is it too old to have a baby sitter for the day going into 9th? Encourage independence or have someone over? Thoughts?

[Anonymous]

I’m comfortable with the ages. We leave our 13 and 9 year olds at times and they’ve done great. But the distance away and length of time gives me pause. Max we’ve done was about 5 hours and I was 20 minutes away.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Yep, I’d do it and not think twice. I was 12 years old and babysitting an 8 year old, 4 year old, and 2 year old. No cell phones, no immediate way to reach parents. Lay the ground rules, let a neighbor or friend know what’s up, and go.

My DD is almost 12 and is nowhere near responsible enough to do this. I’d be ok with. Her being a mother’s helper but not babysitting. It’s great you did it and everyone survived but that doesn’t mean it should be the norm.
OP I would only do this if I had a trusted neighbor/friend/family member close by. 2 hours away is too far.

There’s also a big difference between 11 (the age of your kid) and 13 (the age of OPs oldest). You’re basically comparing a rising 6th grader to a rising 8th grader, when your 6th grader starts MS next year you will understand the gap between those ages better.

Op here. My 13yo is actually rising 9th grade. Which I know seems a little old for a babysitter so I am reading all replies. 9yo is rising 5th in our home.

Is it too old to have a baby sitter for the day going into 9th? Encourage independence or have someone over? Thoughts?

OP, I think you know the answer as it relates to your 13 year old. A NT HS freshman should not need a babysitter, that’s nuts. If you are uncomfortable with the 13 year old being in charge of the 9 year old arrange for the 9 year old to be elsewhere for the day.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I would 100% incentivize the 13yo to be with the 9yo.

That means:

- watching a movie together that the 9yo picks
- craft making together (obviously something simple, like a bead bracelet)
- board game together
- video games together

All will be good if the 13yo understands their responsibility here.

And I would not make it public to the 9yo that the 13yo is getting paid or getting a reward.

⬆️ Troll trying to trigger grown older siblings.

Not PP who wrote this, but - I am an older sibling and I am cognizant of that dynamic with what I ask of my oldest. However, when we leave our B/G kids (similar ages as OP) at home, my older son pretty much ignores my daughter. He's on one tv, she's on another. We leave them for a couple hours when we are close and we make sure they have been fed beforehand, so if they're just doing their own thing, it's ok. I would not be fine with that for 7 hours.

To the oldest sibling point, I always ask if DS is ok to watch DD (my parents would assume and just leave me to babysit) and for such a long day, I would pay him and in that case would also expect him to hang out with her so she doesn't spend 7 hours staring at a screen with no break or interaction.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Yep, I’d do it and not think twice. I was 12 years old and babysitting an 8 year old, 4 year old, and 2 year old. No cell phones, no immediate way to reach parents. Lay the ground rules, let a neighbor or friend know what’s up, and go.

My DD is almost 12 and is nowhere near responsible enough to do this. I’d be ok with. Her being a mother’s helper but not babysitting. It’s great you did it and everyone survived but that doesn’t mean it should be the norm.
OP I would only do this if I had a trusted neighbor/friend/family member close by. 2 hours away is too far.

There’s also a big difference between 11 (the age of your kid) and 13 (the age of OPs oldest). You’re basically comparing a rising 6th grader to a rising 8th grader, when your 6th grader starts MS next year you will understand the gap between those ages better.

Op here. My 13yo is actually rising 9th grade. Which I know seems a little old for a babysitter so I am reading all replies. 9yo is rising 5th in our home.

Is it too old to have a baby sitter for the day going into 9th? Encourage independence or have someone over? Thoughts?

It’s up to you and your kids and all of your comfort level. My kids were in 4th and 7th during the Covid virtual school year. DH and I both work in person. We weee able to flex schedules a little but they were home alone together three days each week for most of the school year. That was out of necessity and before you tell me I should have hired a sitter, remember the early Covid days. No one was coming into the house of two parents working in person to watch our kids. I worried at first but they had phone numbers of the neighbors and never needed to use them. The kids like the independence.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:gender is important here. two girls might be fine in most households. two boys no way. boy and a girl could go either way, i see more neglect happening with opposite gender sibs if they don't normally play together, like the older one will not notice if the younger one has gotten themselves in a situation.

Wow, listen to your ingrained sexism. My two boys would be, and are, perfectly fine when left for several hours. 13 and 10.

Gender does not determine behavior or level of maturity/responsibility.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I would 100% incentivize the 13yo to be with the 9yo.

That means:

- watching a movie together that the 9yo picks
- craft making together (obviously something simple, like a bead bracelet)
- board game together
- video games together

All will be good if the 13yo understands their responsibility here.

And I would not make it public to the 9yo that the 13yo is getting paid or getting a reward.

HAHAHA. You don't have boys, that one thing is certain.

And no, the 13 year doesn't have to cater to the whims of younger sibling. The 9 year old can learn to share and negotiate what they watch and is equally responsible as appropriate for their age level.

But I would be fine with it if there were neighbors or friends close by that they could call if needed.

I do have a boy. Almost the exact same age. 14yo boy. 10yo girl.

And my boy is a wonderful older brother who would happily spend time with his little sister. And we would thank him for be responsible and caring to his younger sister with a small reward afterwards

I also have a boy who would happily do the above.

[Anonymous]

Wow, this thread is making me think that my kids’ behavior (same ages) must be pretty damn awesome as they would have a great time without us and no issues at all.

I can’t believe so many of the rest of you are unable to trust your kids that age to behave.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:No.

7 hours is long.

2 hours away is far.

Can't you get a sitter or other responsible adult (or call in a favor with a friend for a one-time hangout?)

+1. Dh and I have gone to dinner nearby and left our kids that age home alone, but it was for 2 hours max, and we were literally a 5 minute drive away. I wouldn’t do that long or that far.

Yes this.

A few hours when you’re nearby, I’d say yes of course. But 2 hours away leaves a lot of room for things to go wrong (in this area: traffic) so I think I’d find supervision. A sitter or farm them out to friends for the day.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I would 100% incentivize the 13yo to be with the 9yo.

That means:

- watching a movie together that the 9yo picks
- craft making together (obviously something simple, like a bead bracelet)
- board game together
- video games together

All will be good if the 13yo understands their responsibility here.

And I would not make it public to the 9yo that the 13yo is getting paid or getting a reward.

HAHAHA. You don't have boys, that one thing is certain.

And no, the 13 year doesn't have to cater to the whims of younger sibling. The 9 year old can learn to share and negotiate what they watch and is equally responsible as appropriate for their age level.

But I would be fine with it if there were neighbors or friends close by that they could call if needed.

I do have a boy. Almost the exact same age. 14yo boy. 10yo girl.

And my boy is a wonderful older brother who would happily spend time with his little sister. And we would thank him for be responsible and caring to his younger sister with a small reward afterwards

You’re horrible!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I would 100% incentivize the 13yo to be with the 9yo.

That means:

- watching a movie together that the 9yo picks
- craft making together (obviously something simple, like a bead bracelet)
- board game together
- video games together

All will be good if the 13yo understands their responsibility here.

And I would not make it public to the 9yo that the 13yo is getting paid or getting a reward.

HAHAHA. You don't have boys, that one thing is certain.

And no, the 13 year doesn't have to cater to the whims of younger sibling. The 9 year old can learn to share and negotiate what they watch and is equally responsible as appropriate for their age level.

But I would be fine with it if there were neighbors or friends close by that they could call if needed.

I do have a boy. Almost the exact same age. 14yo boy. 10yo girl.

And my boy is a wonderful older brother who would happily spend time with his little sister. And we would thank him for be responsible and caring to his younger sister with a small reward afterwards

You’re horrible!

What? Why? why would it be horrible to reward him for caring for his sister?

It would be a token of appreciation. He probably wouldn't want to make a bead bracelet with his little sister, but he would. He probably wouldn't want to watch a musical, but he would.

So as a thank you, we would get him a little something he's wanted. What's so horrible about that?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Op here. To respond to a few questions, the siblings are G/B. Setting is a townhouse community. Various neighbors are out walking or walking their dogs 24/7 as you can imagine in close quarters. 13yo has a cell phone and 8yo is highly risk averse. This would be one occasion and the home does have an alarm system.

I recall being home alone as a teen too as some have shared. I was torn on a sitter or not. This would be approx 9am-3/4pm.

I did something similar to attend a funeral, except kids were 14, 12 and 10 and we were 3.5 hours away. I notified our neighbors that we'd be gone so they knew to be on the lookout. I told DCs they weren't allowed to play outside (I didn't want anyone wrecking their bike) and logged into Door Dash on the 14 yo phone so they could order dinner, which could be dropped off so they didn't need to open the door. We always have the neighbors phone numbers listed in the kitchen for emergencies.

OP - you should teach the 8 yo how to unlock the 13 yo's phone, or set up Alexa to be able to call you. That way if anything happens to the 13 yo, the 8 yo can still call.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Op here. To respond to a few questions, the siblings are G/B. Setting is a townhouse community. Various neighbors are out walking or walking their dogs 24/7 as you can imagine in close quarters. 13yo has a cell phone and 8yo is highly risk averse. This would be one occasion and the home does have an alarm system.

I recall being home alone as a teen too as some have shared. I was torn on a sitter or not. This would be approx 9am-3/4pm.

I did something similar to attend a funeral, except kids were 14, 12 and 10 and we were 3.5 hours away. I notified our neighbors that we'd be gone so they knew to be on the lookout. I told DCs they weren't allowed to play outside (I didn't want anyone wrecking their bike) and logged into Door Dash on the 14 yo phone so they could order dinner, which could be dropped off so they didn't need to open the door. We always have the neighbors phone numbers listed in the kitchen for emergencies.

OP - you should teach the 8 yo how to unlock the 13 yo's phone, or set up Alexa to be able to call you. That way if anything happens to the 13 yo, the 8 yo can still call.

As a parent of a 12 yo and a 9 yo, I think my 12 yo would be pretty upset if her sister could get into her device (and that could be used for ill by a mischievous sibling - imagine if your younger sibling could impersonate you to your friends back in the day!). Get the 9 yo a Gizmo Watch or something so they can text in an emergency.