Fifty isn't old

[Anonymous]

50 is … 50. “Being old” is often lobbed as a criticism, a judgment.

What does it mean, really? I’ll be 50 in a few months. My dad just turned 95. That’s a whole lot of life ahead …

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:A lot of it is genetics. I'm late 50s, don't dye my hair (no greys), don't use any treatments (Dove unscented soap is the only thing I've ever used on my face), and don't have any of the tells people have referred to in identifying "old" people. I am frequently mistaken for much younger, which is fine with me. I exercise daily, and am more fit and strong than many who are much younger than I am. Our kids are launched/young adults (although one is planning to go back to grad school in the Fall), and we are happy empty nesters, who will be retiring soon

Love this

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:50 is … 50. “Being old” is often lobbed as a criticism, a judgment.

What does it mean, really? I’ll be 50 in a few months. My dad just turned 95. That’s a whole lot of life ahead …

Just for some perspective, how together/fit/with it is your dad? Reading and hearing a lot about people getting super lonely as they get older. It's really bringing me down that that is what awaits me . . .

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:50 is … 50. “Being old” is often lobbed as a criticism, a judgment.

What does it mean, really? I’ll be 50 in a few months. My dad just turned 95. That’s a whole lot of life ahead …

Just for some perspective, how together/fit/with it is your dad? Reading and hearing a lot about people getting super lonely as they get older. It's really bringing me down that that is what awaits me . . .

I will be 50 in three years. My 96-year-old grandmother just passed. She was fine until 6 months ago. She did not express being lonely to my mom until about 3 years ago. Meanwhile, my mom, who is 70, is in much worse shape due to Parkinsons. I don't think 50 is really old at all.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:50 is … 50. “Being old” is often lobbed as a criticism, a judgment.

What does it mean, really? I’ll be 50 in a few months. My dad just turned 95. That’s a whole lot of life ahead …

Just for some perspective, how together/fit/with it is your dad? Reading and hearing a lot about people getting super lonely as they get older. It's really bringing me down that that is what awaits me . . .

My dad is 100% with it mentally and is very connected to family. He lives in a nursing home - where my mom is too. Honestly, he was physically active until Covid hit, and I think he had a more comprehensive physical routine - weight lifting, mobility/yoga - he would be in awesome shape.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:50 is … 50. “Being old” is often lobbed as a criticism, a judgment.

What does it mean, really? I’ll be 50 in a few months. My dad just turned 95. That’s a whole lot of life ahead …

Just for some perspective, how together/fit/with it is your dad? Reading and hearing a lot about people getting super lonely as they get older. It's really bringing me down that that is what awaits me . . .

My dad is 100% with it mentally and is very connected to family. He lives in a nursing home - where my mom is too. Honestly, he was physically active until Covid hit, and I think he had a more comprehensive physical routine - weight lifting, mobility/yoga - he would be in awesome shape.

*if he had a more comprehensive…

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:50 is … 50. “Being old” is often lobbed as a criticism, a judgment.

What does it mean, really? I’ll be 50 in a few months. My dad just turned 95. That’s a whole lot of life ahead …

Just for some perspective, how together/fit/with it is your dad? Reading and hearing a lot about people getting super lonely as they get older. It's really bringing me down that that is what awaits me . . .

My dad is 100% with it mentally and is very connected to family. He lives in a nursing home - where my mom is too. Honestly, he was physically active until Covid hit, and I think he had a more comprehensive physical routine - weight lifting, mobility/yoga - he would be in awesome shape.

*if he had a more comprehensive…

And I see my dad (versus my mom, somewhat against stereotypes) remain engaged and interested in other people. Calling people, remembering birthdays, sending emails.

[Anonymous]

No, 50 isn’t old and most people should have 20 more “good years” … maybe more. At some point, most people get sick/have issues.

But when it comes to dating/finding finding a new partner, here’s the thing: most have baggage. Most have an ex and kids. Most are paying child support and will have college tuition. Most have family obligations and let’s face it…drama.

Practically speaking: can you count on a new partner in their 50s wanting to take on your baggage, and vice versa? What about comingling assets and then dealing with them after one of you gets sick or dies?

It’s so much easier to have just one family.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:No, 50 isn’t old and most people should have 20 more “good years” … maybe more. At some point, most people get sick/have issues.

But when it comes to dating/finding finding a new partner, here’s the thing: most have baggage. Most have an ex and kids. Most are paying child support and will have college tuition. Most have family obligations and let’s face it…drama.

Practically speaking: can you count on a new partner in their 50s wanting to take on your baggage, and vice versa? What about comingling assets and then dealing with them after one of you gets sick or dies?

It’s so much easier to have just one family.

Baggage? You mean life experience? Wisdom?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I generally agree with you, OP, but please don't use celebrities as examples of what 50s people look like.

-53 yr old.

It all depends on the person. Many examples of two people roughly the same age, one looks great and the other one looks old and broken.

Very true. I am 42 and younger men tell me I don't look a day over 21. My mother also is 65 and has no wrinkles. So i get away with dating younger men and I often look younger than those younger men as well

Lol! Those younger men are completely sincere and have no ulterior motives in flattering you, surely.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I generally agree with you, OP, but please don't use celebrities as examples of what 50s people look like.

-53 yr old.

It all depends on the person. Many examples of two people roughly the same age, one looks great and the other one looks old and broken.

Very true. I am 42 and younger men tell me I don't look a day over 21. My mother also is 65 and has no wrinkles. So i get away with dating younger men and I often look younger than those younger men as well

Lol! Those younger men are completely sincere and have no ulterior motives in flattering you, surely.

The younger men complimenting you believe they can beat your cheeks and you’re willing to give it up.

[Anonymous]

I hate it when people tell me I look young. It’s a weak compliment

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I think most people over 50 would marry if they met the right person, but that "the right person" is much more narrowly defined.

People make more compromises when they marry younger because the benefits to marriage are more obvious. If you want kids, marriage is a much more desirable setting for them than having them on your own or in a non marital relationship. There are huge financial benefits to marriage if you are still working on building wealth and maybe still working up to home ownership, especially if you are both working full time (though if family oriented, there can still be financial efficiencies to marriage even if you only have one income). Marriage also serves important social functions during this phase in life, creating networks that help with careers, social supports, and child rearing.

Once you are over 50, a lot of those goals are no longer relevant. So people are less willing to make major compromises in order to combine their lives with someone, even someone they really love. Where a 32 year old might be willing to move to another city, deal with difficult ILs, or put up with a demanding job in order to marry someone they want to start a family and build a life with, a 52 year old is far less likely to be willing to make those concessions.

It's not about thinking your life is over at 50 or that people no longer want love or sex or companionship. It's that marriage is about much more than love/sex/companionship (it's about money and kids and creating a single household), and those things are either less appealing or less important to people 50+.

If that's what most want, I'm in the least. I'm 50, divorced for 5 years and not the least bit interested in marriage.

[Anonymous]

The only people who think 50 isn't old are people near or older than 50. 50 is not young.

[Anonymous]

50…. is old.

Its not young, its not middle aged…
its .. sigh.. old.