Bar/Bat Mitzvah Sweatshirts

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:They need to give you something for attending their gift grab.

Wow. Yuck. Bar/Bat Mitzvahs are incredibly important days for Jewish people. They are not gift grabs - gifts are definitely not expected!

yes they are gift grabs fool.

No they aren't. Check your anti-semitism.

[Anonymous]

As a grown up whose life-long friends have kids in this stage of life, I love the hoodies I’ve gotten in the last 5ish years.

My teen’s friends have just started having them (7th grade) and she’s loving the hoodies.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:They need to give you something for attending their gift grab.

Wow. Yuck. Bar/Bat Mitzvahs are incredibly important days for Jewish people. They are not gift grabs - gifts are definitely not expected!

yes they are gift grabs fool.

Of course they are! You are expected to give at least the cost of the tacky sweatshirt to be considered for future events.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:They need to give you something for attending their gift grab.

Wow. Yuck. Bar/Bat Mitzvahs are incredibly important days for Jewish people. They are not gift grabs - gifts are definitely not expected!

yes they are gift grabs fool.

Of course they are! You are expected to give at least the cost of the tacky sweatshirt to be considered for future events.

Oh I am so curious what made you such a bitter person? 👀

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:They need to give you something for attending their gift grab.

Wow. Yuck. Bar/Bat Mitzvahs are incredibly important days for Jewish people. They are not gift grabs - gifts are definitely not expected!

yes they are gift grabs fool.

No they aren't. Check your anti-semitism.

If they say the same thing about weddings, first communion or confirmation parties (which also require long-term preparation in many churches), or similar occasions, they are not being antisemitic. You really don't know based on the info here.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I find these threads pretty upsetting. In dcum-land if you invite everyone it’s a gift grab, if you invite less widely you are accused of excluding kids. If you give out a customized favor (which kids have done for decades), dcums are quick to judge it and call it trash and insist you shouldn’t have, even though if you didn’t you’d be the only one who didn’t provide a nice memento to your guests to remember the special milestone. It reeks of lots of judgement bordering on bigotry at times. An invitation is not a summons, you may accept or decline. If you receive a parting gift, like with any gift, you say thank you and then do what you wish with it, be it wearing or donating. Gently reminding people that these events involve a tremendous amount of work and preparation for the child and family and all of these gestures come from a good place.
To answer the OP’s question, my kids are not 8th graders yet but they totally wear the sweatshirts and ones I’ve gotten as a close family member also get worn for years with happy memories of that child’s day.

Your post points out some typical overreactions in DCUM-land, but you are missing the larger point. The problem that creates these conflicting messages is that so many posters respond to a situation with a one-size-fits-all edict that ignores how important individual circumstances are. And/or often encompasses assumptions that have nothing to do with the situation presented and everything to do with the responders biases.

Some people who invite everyone are mainly interested in gifts. We've all met materialistic people like that, but most people are just looking to have everyone come and enjoy a good party. There are many legitimate reasons to throw smaller events that do not include everyone (happen every day, all the time), but don't say that to the one girl in a small, private school's 7th grade class who was the only one not invited.

Sweatshirts are no different than anything else, some kids will love them and some kids won't. We don't all like the same thing. That's why one parent upthread is so triumphant; she gave out a sweatshirt that all the guest goers still wear. It is hard to find something that pleases everyone. A unicorn, really.

On the subject of party favors, I have never liked them unless they are consumable. Otherwise, they so often feel wasteful to me. Too many things that never get used and end up in the trash. Why would I want a glass with the names of another couple on it? Why would I want clothing with another person's name on it? But I recognize this is a personal preference, based more on dislike of wastefulness more than anything. Of course in the moment I smile and say thank you.

[Anonymous]

Why would anyone want a sweatshirt with a random kids name on it?

[Anonymous]

We donated almost every personalized sweatshirt within a week. I think we kept 1 and the kid’s name was the same as a younger sibling, so younger kid wore it around. Flannel pj bottoms were case by case, depending on color and design.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Why would anyone want a sweatshirt with a random kids name on it?

It makes no sense. Get them personalized to the kid wearing it.

[Anonymous]

Don’t put the kid’s name on it. Put a catchy phrase or they will end up in the donation pile. The tacky ones have the kids name and date of event. Don’t do it.

[Anonymous]

Mine still wears her Bar/Bat Mitzvah hoodies/t-shirts around the house and to bed. Has one on right now. She got a hat and backpack at one and she’s never worn them.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Help me settle a debate with my kid. Do 8th graders continue to wear sweatshirts they received from their classmates' 7th grade Bar/Bat Mitzvah celebrations?

Sometimes, yes. I see one particularly cool sweatshirt from last year among various kids.

[Anonymous]

The whole thing is trashy

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:The whole thing is trashy

They’re 13-year-old kids celebrating a very special time in life and a huge achievement. It’s harmless fun to give fun gifts to their friends. I’m sure my parents didn’t think my taste at 13 was stellar! My kid loves the hoodie that he was given at a mitzvah this weekend…even slept in it last night

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:We donated almost every personalized sweatshirt within a week. I think we kept 1 and the kid’s name was the same as a younger sibling, so younger kid wore it around. Flannel pj bottoms were case by case, depending on color and design.

You are literally running to a donation drop off every time your child receives a single article of clothing you don’t want them to wear? It’s that offensive to you that you add errands to your schedule so you can get it out of your home within the week every time? And your child won’t wear pj bottoms to sleep unless they’re a particular color??! I guess all households are different.