What? I would definitely expect any parent not engaged in child care to pick up paid work if possible if things were tight financially. |
+1 If a SAHM is taking care of children, that's one thing. If the children are in daycare then that's an altogether different situation. |
Agreed. She mentions she's already resentful and jealous, so her word choice and tone isn't surprising. |
I agree that the money is a red herring for being jealous. I would be jealous too, so no judgement there.
But springing this question in May is probably not the right time. Discuss future summers and what that needs to look like as the kids grow and finances change. Also, summer school doesn't pay that much - not enough to really make a dent in extra savings for the amount of work. Are there other things they can do to contribute more during the summer? Meal planning, house organization projects etc? |
Tutoring pays very well. |
I am also confused by the breadwinner language. Your combined income would not make me think you earn dramatically more than him unless he’s at a private getting paid $40k or something. I also don’t know what your breadwinner mindset is supposed to be. My husband earns more than me and that generally means when one of us has to take a career hit or tell our boss no I have to be the one to do that. That’s pretty much it. |
I don't think teacher's kids should go to daycare in the summer. Teacher's are very quick to point out that they are NOT paid in the summer which means they do not need childcare. Most teacher's I know do not send their children to daycare in the summer, even if they can afford to. |
OP, I don’t think you are TA, but this clearly could have/ should have been discussed more up front. You were both making assumptions about this summer (him about needing some time to decompress and you about the need to pick up some extra jobs).
Do you never talk about budgeting? When the extra expenses hit this year, did you talk about how to rebuild your savings? Now you’ve both put a stake in the ground so it’s harder to get to a neutral place to rationally discuss this. You might want to involve a marriage counselor to help the two of you learn how to better practically communicate on topics like this. I definitely don’t think he should take the whole summer off given your financial situation, but the way and timing of when you brought this up (with your resentment coming through) isn’t terribly effective. And his defensiveness isn’t either. So work to do on both sides on how to successfully navigate tough conversations. |
SAHM's watch their kids. This guy is sending his to daycare during his summer off. |
All the more reason to do it then. |
Technically OP is sending her kids to daycare and doesnt want to pull them out... So... ball in her court. |
You husband is pretty worthless if you think your kids are better off spending time at a corporate daycare vs with him. |
NP, but you want them to pay for the spot but the kids just not attend? Eyeroll. |
This. Ideally he would be taking on this kind of labor as well as grocery shopping and planning, meal prepping, etc. I am a (childfree) teacher and also don’t teach summer school- sounds like utter hell especially recent changes in my district where they now do observations and bulletin boards. But I take on more of the household and pet duties when I am off. |
What schools get 13 weeks of summer vacation!? |