If you are new money

[Anonymous]

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Anonymous wrote:Do you talk about your money? Show your money? Buy flashy things?
Who in your family or friends knows how much you make or how much you have? Who do you talk bonuses with? Or stock investments?
My SIL outright asks my DH how much we make???! Nunya. Nunya F**cking Business! I tell him to deflect or answer vaguely (Not as much as last year haha) or something like that. I think it’s bc they have a little money now at 55 so they like to drop a line like We spent 10K on our trip to Hawaii, can you believe it?! Do people new to money do this on the regular?

I think it makes sense for her to ask since she's your DH's sister and has known him her whole life. Maybe they come from a family where talking about finances is normal.

I would not like if DH answered SIL about how much money we make. She doesn’t work, has been evicted from multiple apartments, and has creditors after her. She would only be asking to determine how much she can mooch from us.

DP, but I agree.

There's something different to me about asking how much something cost (a new car, fancy hotel on vacation, etc) vs asking someone how much they make.

It's not like a random stranger asking you how much you make. It's your immediate family. I find it odd that you would hide those facts from them, unless you have reason to believe that they have ulterior motives.

Also, found the nosy nancy!

This. Have never had a family member or friend ask how much we make. So rude.

I have no problems telling friends and family members how much I make. Being transparent is always thousand times better than being secretive. Also, my salary information is public. Even if I wanted to hide it, anyone can find it.

Oh FFS, if your salary is google-able they've already googled you.

[Anonymous]

I try not to talk about it but lots of people bring it up. I give vague answers/deflect. It is none of anyone’s business how much money we have. I do know what one sibling makes and the extent of their assets as they went through a divorce and asked for my help.

[Anonymous]

I was fortunate to have genuine Old Money friends in college to emulate.
They never mentioned numbers about anything except to remark wine was a better buy by the case.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I was fortunate to have genuine Old Money friends in college to emulate.
They never mentioned numbers about anything except to remark wine was a better buy by the case.

Yeah the only people who truly never talk about money are those who have so much they don't even notice.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I was fortunate to have genuine Old Money friends in college to emulate.
They never mentioned numbers about anything except to remark wine was a better buy by the case.

Yeah the only people who truly never talk about money are those who have so much they don't even notice.

Yes, but you need to talk about it to get there. I'm sure the first generation was all about money or lack of it or there was no reason to go for it.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I was fortunate to have genuine Old Money friends in college to emulate.
They never mentioned numbers about anything except to remark wine was a better buy by the case.

Maybe they want to keep it on the low because otherwise you'll realize that their family got their money from slavery, colonization, child labor, supporting the Nazis, etc. If you want to emulate that, go right ahead.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Do you talk about your money? Show your money? Buy flashy things?
Who in your family or friends knows how much you make or how much you have? Who do you talk bonuses with? Or stock investments?
My SIL outright asks my DH how much we make???! Nunya. Nunya F**cking Business! I tell him to deflect or answer vaguely (Not as much as last year haha) or something like that. I think it’s bc they have a little money now at 55 so they like to drop a line like We spent 10K on our trip to Hawaii, can you believe it?! Do people new to money do this on the regular?

I think it makes sense for her to ask since she's your DH's sister and has known him her whole life. Maybe they come from a family where talking about finances is normal.

I would not like if DH answered SIL about how much money we make. She doesn’t work, has been evicted from multiple apartments, and has creditors after her. She would only be asking to determine how much she can mooch from us.

DP, but I agree.

There's something different to me about asking how much something cost (a new car, fancy hotel on vacation, etc) vs asking someone how much they make.

It's not like a random stranger asking you how much you make. It's your immediate family. I find it odd that you would hide those facts from them, unless you have reason to believe that they have ulterior motives.

Also, found the nosy nancy!

This. Have never had a family member or friend ask how much we make. So rude.

I have no problems telling friends and family members how much I make. Being transparent is always thousand times better than being secretive. Also, my salary information is public. Even if I wanted to hide it, anyone can find it.

Oh FFS, if your salary is google-able they've already googled you.

And I have no problems with it.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Do you talk about your money? Show your money? Buy flashy things?
Who in your family or friends knows how much you make or how much you have? Who do you talk bonuses with? Or stock investments?
My SIL outright asks my DH how much we make???! Nunya. Nunya F**cking Business! I tell him to deflect or answer vaguely (Not as much as last year haha) or something like that. I think it’s bc they have a little money now at 55 so they like to drop a line like We spent 10K on our trip to Hawaii, can you believe it?! Do people new to money do this on the regular?

I think it makes sense for her to ask since she's your DH's sister and has known him her whole life. Maybe they come from a family where talking about finances is normal.

I would not like if DH answered SIL about how much money we make. She doesn’t work, has been evicted from multiple apartments, and has creditors after her. She would only be asking to determine how much she can mooch from us.

DP, but I agree.

There's something different to me about asking how much something cost (a new car, fancy hotel on vacation, etc) vs asking someone how much they make.

It's not like a random stranger asking you how much you make. It's your immediate family. I find it odd that you would hide those facts from them, unless you have reason to believe that they have ulterior motives.

Also, found the nosy nancy!

This. Have never had a family member or friend ask how much we make. So rude.

I have no problems telling friends and family members how much I make. Being transparent is always thousand times better than being secretive. Also, my salary information is public. Even if I wanted to hide it, anyone can find it.

Oh FFS, if your salary is google-able they've already googled you.

+1. It’s kind of gauche to discuss actual numbers for the sake of discussing actual numbers but if I was an NEO and my salary was in the Proxy I wouldn’t shy away from responding to questions from friends and family.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I try not to talk about it but lots of people bring it up. I give vague answers/deflect. It is none of anyone’s business how much money we have. I do know what one sibling makes and the extent of their assets as they went through a divorce and asked for my help.

What are you afraid of? You share your salary to strangers on DCUM, but you can share it with your siblings? That's weird.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I was fortunate to have genuine Old Money friends in college to emulate.
They never mentioned numbers about anything except to remark wine was a better buy by the case.

Maybe they want to keep it on the low because otherwise you'll realize that their family got their money from slavery, colonization, child labor, supporting the Nazis, etc. If you want to emulate that, go right ahead.

Blood guilt, huh. Nice. If you want to emulate THAT...?

[Anonymous]

I talk about money all the time. Probably too much. I should rein it in probably. We are very middle of the road for dcum.

[Anonymous]

i don't know if I'm "new money" or just new UMC?

I came from a modest mid-west upbringing now find my self making over a million a year in my mid-40s. Never thought I'd get here!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Do people still talk in terms of "new money" and "old money"? I thought that sorta aged out alongside rules like not wearing white before Memorial Day.

What cutoff are we using?

I think we can leave generations out... let's go with this:
You are new money if the money you have today - doesn't matter how much it is - is generated from your earnings/work/salary/revenue.
You are old money if - money from an inheritance or trust is doing a lot of the work/all of the work for you.
I realize this may mean only one generation of wealth for the kids of a CEO for example, but usually it takes 2 or 3 generations of wealth and the 3rd generation was raised with money and their attitudes towards it are different than those who come into it.

Wrong. On all counts.