Swinging in relationships

[Anonymous]

P

P man - I'm with you. I can't have sex with a man if I know he's f...ing other women at the same time, leaving alone watching him f..k someone in front of me.

As to swinging, I'm in my 40s. There are SO FEW men in their 40-50s that I'm attracted to physically! I'm in a good shape, but men often are overweight, bold, lazy etc. It takes me 6 months on average to find a single man on dating apps who I would want to have sex with. I can't imagine logistics of finding 2 couples where everyone is attractive to everyone.

You do realize that many men in their 40s-50s who are in good shape, driven, etc.- are dating women in their 30s-40s, right?

Swinging is not for me for any number of reasons (e.g., STIs, pregnancy, drama, etc.) I cannot understand why a DH would pimp out his wife when he could easily find someone new. The market of available women from their 30-50s is vast and easy to mine.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Seems logistically to complicated for many reasons. The biggest one would be meeting just regular, normal people. The second would be finding a couple with everyone attracted to everyone. Also finding time to devote to this as well. Seems like one of those things that sounds good in theory but the practical implementation gets messy.

I've always wondered how you approach this with another couple. Nobody has ever approached us (I guess we're not hot enough?) and I can't imagine making things awkward with any of our couple friends.

You meet people in the scene, you don't make things weird with people you already know or random strangers.

But aren't people on the scene random strangers? How do you know they are not having genital herpes, for example, or other deceases?

Your friends also might have herpes. Hitting on people who are already in the scene just means you're not approaching couples who aren't swingers, it doesn't fix any of the other issues.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Have you or your partner ever brought this up as an idea? I casually brought it up to mine and she wasn’t too enthused…

Husband here. Brought it up a few times, but long intervals of time between each mention-- she gets more curious each time and isn't as opposed to it since last time. Firmly believe that most of us desire animalistic sex at some point in our lives.

I tried this and had the same until DW saw another mom put her hand on my arm while talking to me at a kid's birthday party. I didn't think it was a big deal but swinging is clearly off the table now.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Maybe I am that weird man in the modern era. I will never be able to have sex with my wife again if she lets another man fu**k her. And for the swingy women out there, it doesn't bother you seeing your man giving it the another woman on all 4s. Ya'll are a bunch of sexually liberated people let me tell ya lol

You are Not weird, you are Normal. These are not sexually liberated people, these are people without morals

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:The non-trashy sex clubs require men to be invited by a woman.

Ok so the clubs where people have sex in the open are non-trashy as long as they require men to be invited by women, GOT IT!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Have you or your partner ever brought this up as an idea? I casually brought it up to mine and she wasn’t too enthused…

Husband here. Brought it up a few times, but long intervals of time between each mention-- she gets more curious each time and isn't as opposed to it since last time. Firmly believe that most of us desire animalistic sex at some point in our lives.

I tried this and had the same until DW saw another mom put her hand on my arm while talking to me at a kid's birthday party. I didn't think it was a big deal but swinging is clearly off the table now.

Good for your wife! You Try to have some morals

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:P

P man - I'm with you. I can't have sex with a man if I know he's f...ing other women at the same time, leaving alone watching him f..k someone in front of me.

As to swinging, I'm in my 40s. There are SO FEW men in their 40-50s that I'm attracted to physically! I'm in a good shape, but men often are overweight, bold, lazy etc. It takes me 6 months on average to find a single man on dating apps who I would want to have sex with. I can't imagine logistics of finding 2 couples where everyone is attractive to everyone.

You do realize that many men in their 40s-50s who are in good shape, driven, etc.- are dating women in their 30s-40s, right?

Swinging is not for me for any number of reasons (e.g., STIs, pregnancy, drama, etc.) I cannot understand why a DH would pimp out his wife when he could easily find someone new. The market of available women from their 30-50s is vast and easy to mine.

I also date only attractive men, but it takes 6 moths to sift through the plevel to find what I want on a combination of looks and being an interesting person to date. I cannot imagine seeing a random man and wanting sex with him on a spot, never happened to me in entire life!

80% of US population at any age group is just unattractive, and DMV area is full of boring ugly paperpushers of both genders. And no, it's not true that your DH can easily find a beautiful chick on a side. The market is vast, but it's full of subpar product.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Seems logistically to complicated for many reasons. The biggest one would be meeting just regular, normal people. The second would be finding a couple with everyone attracted to everyone. Also finding time to devote to this as well. Seems like one of those things that sounds good in theory but the practical implementation gets messy.

I've always wondered how you approach this with another couple. Nobody has ever approached us (I guess we're not hot enough?) and I can't imagine making things awkward with any of our couple friends.

You meet people in the scene, you don't make things weird with people you already know or random strangers.

But aren't people on the scene random strangers? How do you know they are not having genital herpes, for example, or other deceases?

Your friends also might have herpes. Hitting on people who are already in the scene just means you're not approaching couples who aren't swingers, it doesn't fix any of the other issues.

But you don't get to ask STI test at a swinger party; and your number of partners is higher thus your exposure to this s..t

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Seems logistically to complicated for many reasons. The biggest one would be meeting just regular, normal people. The second would be finding a couple with everyone attracted to everyone. Also finding time to devote to this as well. Seems like one of those things that sounds good in theory but the practical implementation gets messy.

I've always wondered how you approach this with another couple. Nobody has ever approached us (I guess we're not hot enough?) and I can't imagine making things awkward with any of our couple friends.

You meet people in the scene, you don't make things weird with people you already know or random strangers.

But aren't people on the scene random strangers? How do you know they are not having genital herpes, for example, or other deceases?

Your friends also might have herpes. Hitting on people who are already in the scene just means you're not approaching couples who aren't swingers, it doesn't fix any of the other issues.

But you don't get to ask STI test at a swinger party; and your number of partners is higher thus your exposure to this s..t

Do you think most people who hit on their friends for group sex are asking for STI panels which include herpes? I think your issue is a separate one from how to approach people.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Seems logistically to complicated for many reasons. The biggest one would be meeting just regular, normal people. The second would be finding a couple with everyone attracted to everyone. Also finding time to devote to this as well. Seems like one of those things that sounds good in theory but the practical implementation gets messy.

I've always wondered how you approach this with another couple. Nobody has ever approached us (I guess we're not hot enough?) and I can't imagine making things awkward with any of our couple friends.

You meet people in the scene, you don't make things weird with people you already know or random strangers.

But aren't people on the scene random strangers? How do you know they are not having genital herpes, for example, or other deceases?

Your friends also might have herpes. Hitting on people who are already in the scene just means you're not approaching couples who aren't swingers, it doesn't fix any of the other issues.

But you don't get to ask STI test at a swinger party; and your number of partners is higher thus your exposure to this s..t

Do you think most people who hit on their friends for group sex are asking for STI panels which include herpes? I think your issue is a separate one from how to approach people.

I dont have issues. Men I sleep with are mono and provide STI panel before we sleep (only within relationships, short or longer). But I wonder how people who swing keep it safe. Or do they just not care? Why would women want to take multiple Ds? It's such a high risk activity!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Have you or your partner ever brought this up as an idea? I casually brought it up to mine and she wasn’t too enthused…

Upside down pineapple.

Works every time

Esp the swim trunks. Or an actual pineapple

Works in Florida. That’s the signal. Use it everywhere you go, see if anyone says anything or approaches.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Seems logistically to complicated for many reasons. The biggest one would be meeting just regular, normal people. The second would be finding a couple with everyone attracted to everyone. Also finding time to devote to this as well. Seems like one of those things that sounds good in theory but the practical implementation gets messy.

I've always wondered how you approach this with another couple. Nobody has ever approached us (I guess we're not hot enough?) and I can't imagine making things awkward with any of our couple friends.

You meet people in the scene, you don't make things weird with people you already know or random strangers.

But aren't people on the scene random strangers? How do you know they are not having genital herpes, for example, or other deceases?

Your friends also might have herpes. Hitting on people who are already in the scene just means you're not approaching couples who aren't swingers, it doesn't fix any of the other issues.

But you don't get to ask STI test at a swinger party; and your number of partners is higher thus your exposure to this s..t

Do you think most people who hit on their friends for group sex are asking for STI panels which include herpes? I think your issue is a separate one from how to approach people.

I dont have issues. Men I sleep with are mono and provide STI panel before we sleep (only within relationships, short or longer). But I wonder how people who swing keep it safe. Or do they just not care? Why would women want to take multiple Ds? It's such a high risk activity!

It's just like people who have non-swinging recreational sex: there's the full spectrum from "we have a closed foursome and we all test" to "nice to meet you, want to have sex?" Different people are comfortable with different levels of risk. Most risky, casual sex out there is obviously not swinging.

[Anonymous]

Wasn’t this rampant in UMC Potomac, MD 15-20 years ago?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Not swinging, but my dh has brought up me being a hotwife before... I'm not into sleeping with other people, but he sure wouldn't mind if I did. In fantasy anyway, real life doesnt always work out so perfectly/happily once its done.

My DH has brought up the same thing multiple times. I wasn’t the kind of girl who had a lot of one night stands when we met when I was in my twenties. I’m not sure what made him think that I would be one now that I’m a married mother of three.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Don't. We tried. We were currently waiting for divorce paperwork to be finalized.

Hah. Same. *high five*

It was his idea. I wasn't into swinging but he wanted to have new sexual experiences with others and I couldn't trust him not to go behind my back, so I gave in to his request.

After that, I took a big step back and really analyzed the sad state of my marriage. Saw him for the truly unsupportive and selfish partner that he was. Started individual therapy to deal with all of the trauma. Told him it was over.

He moved out last month and I can't remember the last time I felt such peace.