Different relationship timelines

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP, what’s your vision of an average weekday with four children? Do you expect either of you to be a stay-at-home parent? If so, do you expect the other’s salary to support a family of six? Do you expect to have a very flexible job, to do your full busy half of caring for four kids, meals, cleaning, activities, homework, doc appointments etc etc etc, or to be paid well-enough to have a full-time nanny? Or will your mom move in with you? Have you guys honestly discussed your feelings about these scenarios?

OP here. I’m not entirely sure since I don’t have kids. I can financially support a family by myself but totally cool with her wanting to work and having childcare. We will likely outsource a lot of household chores to maximize family time.

Family time sounds cute. You didn’t answer anything about putting in the time to do your share of the hard work. There will be a lot of hard work even if you outsource a lot.

Today you can’t just say you want four kids, you have to commit to being their caretaker, or at the very least an equal partner in their caretaking. Otherwise you will sound, and do sound, like you want to enroll her into a life that will be a lot harder and less free than your own. she is balking and wants to further her education for a better chance at equality and more freedom.