Parent volunteers who are nuts

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I just encountered a father handling food after putting his fingers in his mouth (…and who knows where else). It was the most disgusting thing I’ve seen from parents volunteering at this HS.

Hey, what was my father-in-law doing at your school event?

[Anonymous]

Interesting thread. We have a mix of personalities at our school on the PA. The biggest problem is getting enough parents to step up and volunteer. That often leaves the donating and volunteering to a small group. The volunteer needs change every year, dependent on the PA President and their vision. I think much of this should be institutionalized to the school to handle, especially in a private high school. Reduce the volunteer ask to essential volunteer roles, increase PA dues to cover the costs (one annual contribution vs many ask throughout the year), still allows parents to participate, but without making being on the PA a full-time job

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Interesting thread. We have a mix of personalities at our school on the PA. The biggest problem is getting enough parents to step up and volunteer. That often leaves the donating and volunteering to a small group. The volunteer needs change every year, dependent on the PA President and their vision. I think much of this should be institutionalized to the school to handle, especially in a private high school. Reduce the volunteer ask to essential volunteer roles, increase PA dues to cover the costs (one annual contribution vs many ask throughout the year), still allows parents to participate, but without making being on the PA a full-time job

PA should not be parents all in the same friend group or country club. It is polarizing.

PA president was relatively new to the community and despite many parents interested in the position who had been volunteering and donating money for years - a random person who is friends with board members and other higher ups somehow landed a spot as the PA president. 3/4 of the rest of the PA boards and committees are all from the same club(s). This is not how you build community but starting to think maybe they do not want to build community. It is just for appearances.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Interesting thread. We have a mix of personalities at our school on the PA. The biggest problem is getting enough parents to step up and volunteer. That often leaves the donating and volunteering to a small group. The volunteer needs change every year, dependent on the PA President and their vision. I think much of this should be institutionalized to the school to handle, especially in a private high school. Reduce the volunteer ask to essential volunteer roles, increase PA dues to cover the costs (one annual contribution vs many ask throughout the year), still allows parents to participate, but without making being on the PA a full-time job

PA should not be parents all in the same friend group or country club. It is polarizing.

PA president was relatively new to the community and despite many parents interested in the position who had been volunteering and donating money for years - a random person who is friends with board members and other higher ups somehow landed a spot as the PA president. 3/4 of the rest of the PA boards and committees are all from the same club(s). This is not how you build community but starting to think maybe they do not want to build community. It is just for appearances.

Sounds like STA. Not at all surprising. The school has always allowed wealthy club families to dominate and run the PA in classic mean girl fashion.

[Anonymous]

I say get more dads involved. Maybe a certain kind of dad at least. We had a couple on our all girl's school PA and they were great at keeping things moving along without too much drama.

[Anonymous]

This is a stereotype for a reason.

I walked away from my phone for half an hour on Monday night and came back to 17 angry messages from the PTA president because I handed my information over to another parent who offered to take over me because my kid is graduating in two weeks and hers isn’t. She called it “going rogue” even though we don’t have a formal succession process at our school. I was just grateful that a parent offered to help out! Getting people to step up and help is difficult enough without all the ego issues with volunteers who use their role to feed their craving to feel important.

I won’t miss it. It’s been like this at every single PTA that I have helped with. I’m just impressed when there is no embezzlement.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:This is a stereotype for a reason.

I walked away from my phone for half an hour on Monday night and came back to 17 angry messages from the PTA president because I handed my information over to another parent who offered to take over me because my kid is graduating in two weeks and hers isn’t. She called it “going rogue” even though we don’t have a formal succession process at our school. I was just grateful that a parent offered to help out! Getting people to step up and help is difficult enough without all the ego issues with volunteers who use their role to feed their craving to feel important.

I won’t miss it. It’s been like this at every single PTA that I have helped with. I’m just impressed when there is no embezzlement.

Why would you not loop in your PTA president first and say hey, this is too much for me right now... I need to step away? What you did actuallu looks like favoritism because instead of the PTA being able to decide on next steps collaboratively, you chose a friend.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Interesting thread. We have a mix of personalities at our school on the PA. The biggest problem is getting enough parents to step up and volunteer. That often leaves the donating and volunteering to a small group. The volunteer needs change every year, dependent on the PA President and their vision. I think much of this should be institutionalized to the school to handle, especially in a private high school. Reduce the volunteer ask to essential volunteer roles, increase PA dues to cover the costs (one annual contribution vs many ask throughout the year), still allows parents to participate, but without making being on the PA a full-time job

PA should not be parents all in the same friend group or country club. It is polarizing.

PA president was relatively new to the community and despite many parents interested in the position who had been volunteering and donating money for years - a random person who is friends with board members and other higher ups somehow landed a spot as the PA president. 3/4 of the rest of the PA boards and committees are all from the same club(s). This is not how you build community but starting to think maybe they do not want to build community. It is just for appearances.

Sounds like STA. Not at all surprising. The school has always allowed wealthy club families to dominate and run the PA in classic mean girl fashion.

This also could be Mater Dei or The Woods Academy! It surprises me how many of these parents are members of Columbia CC and Congressional.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

PA should not be parents all in the same friend group or country club. It is polarizing.

This!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

PA should not be parents all in the same friend group or country club. It is polarizing.

This!

Well, if you choose that kind of school, you kind get what you signed up for, right? Isn't the wealth and prestige of those same people what made you choose a "prestigious" school? You can get stellar academics at schools that are not dominated by certain country club sets.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

PA should not be parents all in the same friend group or country club. It is polarizing.

This!

Well, if you choose that kind of school, you kind get what you signed up for, right? Isn't the wealth and prestige of those same people what made you choose a "prestigious" school? You can get stellar academics at schools that are not dominated by certain country club sets.

No. The wealth and prestige of others is not why we chose our school.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Interesting thread. We have a mix of personalities at our school on the PA. The biggest problem is getting enough parents to step up and volunteer. That often leaves the donating and volunteering to a small group. The volunteer needs change every year, dependent on the PA President and their vision. I think much of this should be institutionalized to the school to handle, especially in a private high school. Reduce the volunteer ask to essential volunteer roles, increase PA dues to cover the costs (one annual contribution vs many ask throughout the year), still allows parents to participate, but without making being on the PA a full-time job

PA should not be parents all in the same friend group or country club. It is polarizing.

PA president was relatively new to the community and despite many parents interested in the position who had been volunteering and donating money for years - a random person who is friends with board members and other higher ups somehow landed a spot as the PA president. 3/4 of the rest of the PA boards and committees are all from the same club(s). This is not how you build community but starting to think maybe they do not want to build community. It is just for appearances.

Or when they try to show they are diverse by adding in another co-chair for an event while the others are from the same group and the other co-chairs do not speak or interact with her in person, in meetings, or even in photos! Yikes! I feel for that co-chair.

[Anonymous]

I find that the outdoor volunteers (plant sale, picnics, etc) are far better to be around than at the indoor activities. Last week I volunteered for teacher appreciation lunch, and one of the parents ordered the teachers around like pre-schoolers. I noted her name and will be careful to stay away in future.

[Anonymous]

WIS parent volunteer at WIS are nuts. These parents volunteers are Queen Bees. Sometimes the class room teachers are afraid of them and even have to pass their child or write in the school reports that their children are doing well when they are not.

[Anonymous]

Most of those moms have self esteem problems/issues. I volunteer when I can, send in stuff when I can, I already have a life and dont need to make my child's life and school the center of my universe. Find a friend and volunteer together.