Eating lunch/walking alone

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Were they all looking at their phones?

This is the answer.

Yep.

--HS teacher.

It’s not necessarily a bad thing. A friend, early 60’s woman, told me recently that she always avoided eating at restaurants alone because she thought there was stigma and it was embarrassing. She said she’s fine with her phone, though.

I’ve known women who didn’t eat alone to avoid looking available and warding off passes; phones help with that also.

[Anonymous]

I think it depends on the time of day. I know my freshman DD grabs lunch between class, mostly alone, but most days eat dinner with her friend group.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Not sure if it's a generational thing or big state school thing. I went to a SLAC 30 years ago and it was super rare to see people eating by themselves.

When we've eaten in the dining halls on admitted student days, seems like half the kids are eating by themselves. Also see vast majority of kids walking by themselves or sitting in common areas by themselves.

Is this just how it is these days or is this because of the size of the school so this was happening 30 years ago as well at large state schools?

It is not a good sign. Lots of lonely kids these days. I would choose schools that seemed to have more of a sense of community. My freshman never eats alone for any single meal. He has large group and they text and someone is always up for grabbing something to eat.

Which school?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:This is why I’m so glad to be an introvert, married to an introvert, raising introverts. You desperate extroverts are exhausting. In college, I always ate dinner with friends, but lunch was on your own—study, break between classes, read, go back to your room, catch up on laundry, go to the arboretum or the union and enjoy some fresh air and sunshine while you eat a sandwich.

I know some of you panic about the idea of being left alone without own thoughts. No, it’s not phones or screens. I had lovely solo lunches in college, eating and going over my notes for the next class, or listening to the carillon bells. What is with the constant extrovert need to talk, talk, talk. When do you THINK? When do you lose yourself in thought?

+1
The insecurity about not being able to grab a bite by yourself is pretty sad. Especially at lunch, when everyone is coming and going and has their own schedule! I feel bad for the kids whose parents are making it clear that if they don't eat with friends at every meal, then they're a loser. Quite the opposite - they're the mature ones.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:The idea that eating lunch is a problem “caused by phones” is laughable. I went to college in the 90s, and the norm was lunch was on your own, in between classes. Dinner was the social meal.

Exactly! According to my daughter, this is still the norm.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Can you imagine our parents desperately observing and fussing on messaging boards with other parents about ADULT STUDENTS eating or *walking* alone? Good grief. Pull yourselves together, people.

In college, my friends had different majors. Thus, we very rarely had classes together, and the classes we had were in different buildings. Of course I was friendly with people in my classes, and yeah, if you happened to see someone who was grabbing lunch at the same time, you might eat together. But usually I ate by myself and read, studied, did the crossword, or went back to my dorm room for a nap or to study.

Do you feel this same way about working adults, that they must walk to meetings “together,” eat lunch together each and every day? Honestly wondering what is wrong with some of you.

Spot on. Some deeply insecure parents here. I bet their kids aren't half as insecure as they are.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I think it depends on the time of day. I know my freshman DD grabs lunch between class, mostly alone, but most days eat dinner with her friend group.

+1
Same with my DD. And now they can order ahead via an app, so she'll often just pick up her food to go (from a dining hall) and take it wherever she needs to go.

[Anonymous]

Freshman year my kids always tried to eat dinner with friends but mid day meals were based on where your class was so often they might have been alone. My dd never went to the dining hall for breakfast or lunch.

Now that they are off grounds, they do their own thing, cook at home and/or get meals with friends when budget allows.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:It depends on the school, too.

Yes.

U of Tennessee had kids in groups everywhere, talking, laughing, having fun. It was refreshing.

[Anonymous]

https://grownandflown.com/biggest-difference-between-college-in-90s-and-today/

Saw this and thought others might be interested.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Not sure if it's a generational thing or big state school thing. I went to a SLAC 30 years ago and it was super rare to see people eating by themselves.

When we've eaten in the dining halls on admitted student days, seems like half the kids are eating by themselves. Also see vast majority of kids walking by themselves or sitting in common areas by themselves.

Is this just how it is these days or is this because of the size of the school so this was happening 30 years ago as well at large state schools?

Big State U grad from the 80's. Never ate alone. Don't really recall seeing others eat alone, as the dining hall had large round banquet still tables. Even if you arrived alone, you always saw someone you knew or had me.

Round table seating 8-10 full of friends and friends of friends for every meal, empty chairs, people walk up that recognize you. Your circle expands as a result of going to the dining halls. This was all before phones and laptops. I think students today dine whenever and where ever (we had set times and only your quad's dining hall) it's convenient to them. Meet up with someone? Maybe. Sit with my ear buds, phone and laptop, seems easier. Other than teams, sorority girls, frat guys etc. this feels like the new norm.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Were they all looking at their phones?

This. I went to university in the 90s and always had lunch with someone. There was no other entertainment.

Now can watch Netflix / TikTok/ YouTube while eating, or listen to audio book, or chat with someone on the phone while eating (back then mobiles were still quite expensive and holding a phone to your ear was not convenient while eating). So there are more options than the two we had: eat alone or eat with someone.

I ate alone frequently at school in the 90s. I would read—either a book for fun or an assignment.

I ate alone for dinner a lot as a PSU Honors College student in the 1980s. My roommate was a dud and there weren't many freshman women in the Honors dorm so few people to locate quickly to go to the cafeteria across the street. It didn't bother me to do so, it was just efficient. I met up with people socially outside of meals instead.

I especially remember that I dined alone because frequently when I sat at a table alone, large groups of sorority sisters would settle at the table without so much as looking me in the eye, saying "may I sit here", or any other acknowledgement that I existed. From listening to their conversations, I became sure that I didn't want to rush. I had gone to school thinking I might because I would have been a legacy to one of the "good" sororities.

I am sorry to hear this. I lived in South Halls during the 80's and dined in Redifer(?) and recall tables of sorority girls from the various dorm floors. Fortunately I liked my roommate (we are still in touch and her kids attended PSU), had friends across and adjacent from our room and we ate with any floormates around (maybe 40 on the floor) and guys from Ewing or/and Beaver that anyone of us knew. Thankfully we were usually there in numbers and our table was not swarmed as you note.