I think people who brag deserve the jealousy and hate it engenders

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Bragging isn't self confidence, in fact far from it. Secure and confident people don't feel any need to toot their own horns.

This. The braggers are the insecure ones.

+1000

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP here. My statement requires actual bragging. If it's not bragging, and just interpreted as such do to the listener's insecurity, then my statement by definition doesn't apply.

I'm speaking only of overt bragging that falls within the dictionary definition: excessively proud or boastful talk about one's accomplishments or possessions.

I agree with the PP who noted that bragging is designed to provoke jealousy. This is true, and thus why I have no sympathy for braggarts who find themselves the subject of jealousy and hate. They did it to themselves.

1. You make the mistake of thinking such a definition is objective. It's not. It's subjective.
2. Can't you be happy for people? A lot of humans are. They will genuinely be glad that someone tell them they got a promotion/baby/inheritance/into Harvard.

Again, it all comes down to your insecurity. You're a moron, OP. It's so sad to live your one and only life this way, hating other people.

I'm happy for people all the time. And I never said the definition wasn't subjective. But that doesn't mean bragging doesn't exist. You are making the mistake of thinking that because some people see bragging where there isn't any, then bragging never happens and doesn't matter. You think the fact that something is subjective means that none of it matters at all. It all matters.

But does it though? Why does it matter to you? I actually don't disagree that longwinded bragging can be tiresome, but mostly just because it is dull and generally does not so much want a conversation as an audience. But other than the minimal energy it takes to extricate oneself from the braggart at the potluck, what does it really matter? On a scale from 0 to 10 on significance, this gets a 1. If that.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Bragging isn't self confidence, in fact far from it. Secure and confident people don't feel any need to toot their own horns.

this. Can't stand braggers

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I think some people are so insecure and paranoid that they misinterpret regular conversation for bragging because they assume everything ties back to them somehow.

This. ^^

Insecure loser types assume other folks are bragging any time they feel like they don't measure up. This is about the listener more often than it is about a so-called "bragger." I couldn't care less if folks like that are jealous or hate me.

I agree with this 100%.

Another agree. The person who is on the same level doesn't see it as bragging.

To someone who summered in Nantucker, the person saying "I summer in the Hamptons" will come off as sharing their fun vacation plans. To the person who lives in a trailer and can't afford even a trip to the local pool, that seems like unforgivable smugness and "bragging".

OP is clearly triggered and upset that they arent on the level of the people around them. Oh well.

But part of bragging is the insensitivity. Like having a child diagnosed with special needs and having your neighbor go on and on about how difficult it is to have a child in the gifted program and calling herself a “gifted parent” which implies that you are a sped parent etc.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I think some people are so insecure and paranoid that they misinterpret regular conversation for bragging because they assume everything ties back to them somehow.

This. ^^

Insecure loser types assume other folks are bragging any time they feel like they don't measure up. This is about the listener more often than it is about a so-called "bragger." I couldn't care less if folks like that are jealous or hate me.

I agree with this 100%.

Another agree. The person who is on the same level doesn't see it as bragging.

To someone who summered in Nantucker, the person saying "I summer in the Hamptons" will come off as sharing their fun vacation plans. To the person who lives in a trailer and can't afford even a trip to the local pool, that seems like unforgivable smugness and "bragging".

OP is clearly triggered and upset that they arent on the level of the people around them. Oh well.

Anyone who talks like this is bragging 100% of the time.

[Anonymous]

Should people hide all their happy moments and only share sad ones? That would be unhealthy and unbalanced. Some people choose to be bitter and unhappy and that’s their choice but the rest of us shouldn’t be held hostage by that. They are the ones with a problem.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP here. My statement requires actual bragging. If it's not bragging, and just interpreted as such do to the listener's insecurity, then my statement by definition doesn't apply.

I'm speaking only of overt bragging that falls within the dictionary definition: excessively proud or boastful talk about one's accomplishments or possessions.

I agree with the PP who noted that bragging is designed to provoke jealousy. This is true, and thus why I have no sympathy for braggarts who find themselves the subject of jealousy and hate. They did it to themselves.

1. You make the mistake of thinking such a definition is objective. It's not. It's subjective.
2. Can't you be happy for people? A lot of humans are. They will genuinely be glad that someone tell them they got a promotion/baby/inheritance/into Harvard.

Again, it all comes down to your insecurity. You're a moron, OP. It's so sad to live your one and only life this way, hating other people.

I'm happy for people all the time. And I never said the definition wasn't subjective. But that doesn't mean bragging doesn't exist. You are making the mistake of thinking that because some people see bragging where there isn't any, then bragging never happens and doesn't matter. You think the fact that something is subjective means that none of it matters at all. It all matters.

But does it though? Why does it matter to you? I actually don't disagree that longwinded bragging can be tiresome, but mostly just because it is dull and generally does not so much want a conversation as an audience. But other than the minimal energy it takes to extricate oneself from the braggart at the potluck, what does it really matter? On a scale from 0 to 10 on significance, this gets a 1. If that.

Single incident? Sure, a 1.

Every time you see them? Now it's a 3 or 4, depending on how often you see them and how bad the bragging is.

Bragging is over the top and implicates kids? We're getting to 5-7, people who brag about their kids in a way that puts down other kids are a major pet peeve of mine, even when they aren't putting down my kids (but if they are, it's worse). I'm happy for your kid for doing so great in lacrosse, but if you want to tell me how much better they are than all the other kids on his team, I do not like you.

Like a lot of unpleasant social behaviors, it really depends how severe it is and then how much you're exposed. I consider bragging anti-social.

[Anonymous]

Well Donald trump brags about his intellect and also call other people stupid losers. Do all braggers think everybody who doesn’t also have a mansion or a sports car is a loser? Or is that just a trump thing? It doesn’t feel good to spend time with someone who thinks you are a loser evennif they don’t call you one like trump does

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Should people hide all their happy moments and only share sad ones? That would be unhealthy and unbalanced. Some people choose to be bitter and unhappy and that’s their choice but the rest of us shouldn’t be held hostage by that. They are the ones with a problem.

It's weird that you think the only way to share happy moments is by bragging.

Not bragging: "We went to DD's graduation at Yale this weekend. We are so proud of her -- she worked really hard and made the most of the opportunity. Just super proud parents over here."

Bragging: "DD just graduated from STANFORD. I know, it's really impressive. Where does your kid go? Oh yeah, well, UMD is a good school I think. DD's already had 6 job offers, some of them are really impressive. She's taking her time to decide though. One of them is really prestigious but it's in media and I think pay rates top out at 140 or 150k? She can do better. I'm encouraging her to consider tech. We've got contacts high up at Google and Facebook, I want her to sit down with them and see what they might offer her."

You can share all the happy moments of your life, express pride, etc., all without bragging. It's a social skill. If you don't know how to share the happy moments without constantly comparing, putting down others, insisting you have the best/most/biggest of everything, then people don't dislike you because you "shared a happy moment." They dislike you because you are competitive and unpleasant and lack humility.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Well Donald trump brags about his intellect and also call other people stupid losers. Do all braggers think everybody who doesn’t also have a mansion or a sports car is a loser? Or is that just a trump thing? It doesn’t feel good to spend time with someone who thinks you are a loser evennif they don’t call you one like trump does

+1, Trump is a good example. His bragging is so transparently about trying to put himself ahead of others. I think that's what distinguishes bragging from other forms of sharing success -- wanting to show you are better than others. No one enjoys that.

[Anonymous]

Define bragging.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Define bragging.

It's defined on the first page of the thread.

[Anonymous]

It's one thing to talk about happy moments or accomplishments. It's quite another to one-up someone.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:It's one thing to talk about happy moments or accomplishments. It's quite another to one-up someone.

One-uppers are exhausting. I don't hate them, I just find them tiresome and will avoid talking to them whenever possible because they turn conversation into combat. No thank you.

[Anonymous]

i do not understand the dcum people who say 'you should just be happy for people'.

It is not at ALL hard to differentiate between people who are sharing good fortune with you because either they can't help it (you notice) or in a way that is humble and deserving of being happy for them, and people who are deliberately seeking to make you feel envious or unsuccessful and should be shut down. It is never ever difficult to tell the difference. If you ever showed off and think you did it subtly, you didn't. everyone knew.