Absent Father- Now wants to take me to court for visitation

[Anonymous]

Very long story short...my child's father left me and moved across the USA when I was 5 months pregnant with his ex girlfriend. He moved back 3 years ago or so. Since then he has seen our daughter less than 20 times. I have never said he couldn't see her however he has made up every excuse as to why he can't see her more. He lives only 30 minutes away. He asks how she is doing once or twice a week. He has been paying child support for a year now. However he is over $15,000 behind on child support.

Today, he said he was going to file a petition for visitation.

I wanted to know how the process for visitation is handled in Maryland and what kind of case he could present given he hasn't been in her life for the past 5 years.

[Anonymous]

They are going to do what's in the best interest of the child and visitation generally is good. Do you have any particular concerns? They may not give overnights for awhile until your child is more used to him.

[Anonymous]

OP here. I do have several concerns. He has battled alcoholism, depression, mental health issues, and suicidal thoughts for years. He's also a smoker and my child is severely asthmatic.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:OP here. I do have several concerns. He has battled alcoholism, depression, mental health issues, and suicidal thoughts for years. He's also a smoker and my child is severely asthmatic.

He sounds extremely unreliable. I wish I could give you particular legal advice. But it seems the huge sum of unpaid child support SHOULD prevent him from getting access, though who knows if the court system will do the right thing

[Anonymous]

Im pretty sure child support is not linked to visitation. What type of visitation does he want OP? Like does he want every other weekend?

[Anonymous]

Start documenting every no show and well as every invitation to a child related event that he turns down.

Parent teacher conference, school open house, soccer practice, swim lessons etc.

[Anonymous]

You need to start interviewing lawyers. If he wants visitation, he's likely to get it.

[Anonymous]

Visitation and child support are not tied to each other. Visitation is not withheld due to unpaid support. If you have safety issues, focus on those. Ask for supervised visitation and no overnights. But be prepared for the court to try to make a way for him to be part of her life. Since he has been unreliable in the past, document every time he flakes going forward. If possible, communicate via email so there is a paper trail.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:OP here. I do have several concerns. He has battled alcoholism, depression, mental health issues, and suicidal thoughts for years. He's also a smoker and my child is severely asthmatic.

has he won those battles? He should not smoke around her, but it is almost always better for the kids to have a relationship with both parents.

[Anonymous]

Visitation is not dependent on child support. We don't "charge" parents to visit their children.

Rather than his filing a petition, you may get more out of working out an arrangement with him. If he smokes, offer to have him take her out to a restaurant meal once a week. Offer to drive her to a certain restaurant of your choosing and pick her up. If he doesn't show up, the two of you can eat there.

Judges don't look favorably upon claims of mental health problems arising during custody/visitation disputes unless you have actual hard evidence of a NEW, DIFFERENT problem arising after you split up -- hospital records, police reports evidencing something that didn't occur before, while you were together. Otherwise, judges think this wasn't enough to concern you while you were together.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP here. I do have several concerns. He has battled alcoholism, depression, mental health issues, and suicidal thoughts for years. He's also a smoker and my child is severely asthmatic.

He sounds extremely unreliable. I wish I could give you particular legal advice. But it seems the huge sum of unpaid child support SHOULD prevent him from getting access, though who knows if the court system will do the right thing

Child support and visitation are two totally separate issues. Being behind on support will not affect visitation rights, unless of course they put him in jail.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP here. I do have several concerns. He has battled alcoholism, depression, mental health issues, and suicidal thoughts for years. He's also a smoker and my child is severely asthmatic.

has he won those battles? He should not smoke around her, but it is almost always better for the kids to have a relationship with both parents.

NP. Not necessarily. My dad was an alcoholic and missed so many weekend visits. I didn't know this was the reason when I was a kid though, I thought there was something wrong with me or my brother. I would have been better off without him. He was pissed at my mom for getting remarried so he started insisting on visits that he regularly never showed up for.

[Anonymous]

OP here. Thanks for the advice. However some of you thought I was linking child support and visitation. I wasn't. I was just adding more information to my situation.

[Anonymous]

Oh and as far as the battles he is still battling mental health issues, depression, and suicidal thoughts.

[Anonymous]

Maybe he's trying to negotiate a reduction in child support.