SAHM feeling on the fence about sending her 2 year old to preschool

[Anonymous]

We live in Arlington and have one child, a son who turned two in April. He is bright, extremely verbal for his age and fairly outgoing, although he has his clingy periods. Here's my dilemma...

Everyone I know is registering their 2 year olds for preschool in the fall, and I also applied to a bunch of them. (However, I was ambivalent about it because I come from a family of teachers who believe that 2 is too young for preschool.) We ended up getting waitlisted on all of the schools we applied to, so I figured that was fate telling me not to worry about it this year.

Well, we just got a phone call tonight - we've been offered a spot at a school, a coop program that I REALLY liked. I know that this is a popular school here in Arlington and it's well regarded.

My question is this: I really want to sign my son up, especially because I know it's hard to get in, this is a great school, etc. But a nagging question remains: am I pushing my kid out the door too early? I guess I'm feeling anxious because my husband just told me he's not comfortable with our son being left at a preschool, even if it is only two days a week for 3 hours per session. And as I mentioned above, my parents don't really like the idea.

Argh! Although I do want to do this, I would appreciate people's honest opinions about what is the right thing to do for my child. Thanks!

(PS - Some other info that may be helpful: he does stay with his grandma 1-2 days a week while I work part-time. Also, we are in a coop playgroup two days a week (started in April) and it's given him a bit of experience socializing with other kids. However, I've never dropped him off there.)

[Anonymous]

OP, I have quite a number of years of working with young children and their families. Under normal conditions, I to feel it's best to wait one more year for your son to begin his preschool program. It does sound as if he already has quite a full week with his grandma and his playgroup. What a lucky little boy you have!

[Anonymous]

It depends on your DS. I was going to start my DS at almost 3 last fall, but then I didn't because he wasn't ready. He didn't want to go to school, he wasn't potty trained yet and didn't want to, and he became VERY clingy that summer. So, he didn't go. I did other things to socialize him that year.

[Anonymous]

Hi, me again. Ooops, I should clarify that I would take him OUT of the playgroup we're currently in, in order to attend the preschool. The preschool is a "learning through play" program, two days a week, 3 hours per day. Thanks for any insight you can provide!

[Anonymous]

I say do it...in the scheme of the week it is 6 hours. Besides in a co-op you have to help right? You would be in the room with him a few times a month anyway.

[Anonymous]

I am in a similar situation, only in our case DC is slightly older than your son (our DC will turn three in early November). Same thing as you: I would have preferred to wait, but we lucked out and got a spot in a great program, and I didn't want to give it up, so we enrolled for the fall. I will say that everyone I talked to encouraged me to send DC and gave me lots of good reasons, so I feel better about it. The main thing that convinced me was that I really think DC is the type of child to enjoy preschool a lot and who will get a lot out of it; the issue with not wanting to send DC is about MY feelings, not his/hers. Is that the same with you, perhaps?

Also, in our case the program is three mornings a week--if it had been two, like yours, I wouldn't have hesitated much if at all, if that helps.

[Anonymous]

We sent DD to a co-oop nursery school at age 2 for two mornings a week (2 hours). I would not trade that year for anything. We bonded with the other families, and gained a terrific sense of community. Although we only stayed there one year, the friendships DD made there endured - in fact, we just had dinner tonight with one of the families from that 2-year old class...and it's 3 years later!

[Anonymous]

My son turned two in May, and we debated this as well. I ended up choosing a preschool with a Mommy and me-type program where I attend with my son two days a week for 2 hrs. Our school is in Great Falls and probably too far for you but McLean Country Day offers a similar program 1 day a week. Not sure if they have availability this late in the game but it's worth a try.

Your co-op program sounds similar. I think it will be a nice transition for him when he turns 3 and begins real preschool.

[Anonymous]

If you were offered a spot and are in doubt if you would get one next year, go for it. I sent my son when he was 2.5 and he was really just too young. He was also very verbal but had been at home w/ me since birth. It turns out he had some sensory issues that I would not have discovered until he was 3.5 yrs old had he not started school. He got help early and is doing well now. If he seems fine around other kids at playgroup, he will probably be fine for 3 hrs twice a week.

[Anonymous]

I am sending my DD, who turned 2 in April, to three AM's a week in the fall. She is ready (but she has an older sister and that makes a BIG difference). Only you know if your child is ready and even then, you may be wrong. But you will be surprised how bored your child will be by next November and this little program may be good for him! New toys! New kids! Socialization, learning about rules. I think you will be anxious about it, but do not look at it like SCHOOL. It isn't. Look at it as another playgroup...that is what a good program is for a 2 year old...play play play!

Go for it.

[Anonymous]

IF both are you are leaning against it, don't do it. It's not a life-altering decision either way, at age 2 for 6 hours a week.

[Anonymous]

I put my first in a 2 day per week (3 hours) program at 2.5 and it was great. Many nursery schools start at 2.5. We're starting no. 2 at the same age, but for much longer. If it's a good school, grab the place while you can.

[Anonymous]

that's not a lot of hours per week. assuming you don't have to pay for many months upfront or sign a contract for a set period of time, why don't you try it and see how he does? you could even stay enrolled in the playgroup for a month or two until you're sure it will work out. If he hates it, then you could pull him out and go back to the old routine.

As for your DH's objections, he's going to have to go to school at some point anyway, whether it's now or next year or for kindergarden - 6 hours a week seems like a good way to start that transition.

(i'm not where you are yet, but i'm a working mom who had to put my DD in daycare at 6 weeks - she's 8 mos old and thriving - LOVES going to daycare every day - and we're already looking at preschools for when she's 2 or 3.)

good luck!

[Anonymous]

I and my sisters grew up with FT nannies and school combos, since both of my parents worked in full-time professional careers. As a consequence, I see this as "normal" though not necessary. It's funny -- I am trying so hard to find a(n affordable) part time preschool for my daughter, maybe for no other reason than this is what I and my sisters did when we were growning up!

At any rate, here's one way to think of preschool:

Preschool is just another way of expanding your child's universe of friends and family. They say it "takes a village" -- well, the teachers and other children in that preschool will become a part of your child's village. Find a place that you like, that feels a little like an extension of your home, but that isn't exactly the same. After all, he would probably benefit from learning things that you haven't thought to teach him! The important things are that the place feels loving and creative, and that the teacher is smart and in charge. The fact that there might be other adults there -- teachers or parents -- that you could befriend, too, is not an inconsequential bonus. Like I said, it could become an extension of your family, which can be a great thing for you and your child.

If school doesn't feel natural or right to you, then don't do it. Your child is not going to grow up isolated and freaked out by people for the rest of his life. I can't think of anyone who was so badly "scarred" by being with his beloved mummy, papa, gramma and grampa and neighborhood buddies until kindergarten.

[Anonymous]

I recommend the book "The Trouble with Boys". It might put pre-school in a bigger context that will help you make your decision or at least give you a framework for deciding when to start.