Dealing with death, birth, violence issues/questions with preschoolers - how to approach?

[Anonymous]

Our 4 yr old has officially entered the "difficult questions to answer phase".

She asks about babies, how they get into mom's tummy, how they get out. She asks where dead people go, how they died. She asks about people killing animals, people killing people.

I think we've handled it pretty well and have been matter of fact and straightforward (pretty much) about these issues. She knows babies come out through their mommy's vagina, etc...

She's specifically been talking a lot about people killing animals. She asks if the animals are bad and that's why they get killed. I jsut don't know how to answer it! I say "of course not" and she keeps asking why they're killed then. I say some people eat the animals that they kill. We're vegetarian, which is probably why she's so confused.

Thanks for any adivce on honestly answering (without scaring them!)

[Anonymous]

Matter of fact and just answer the exact question she asks. Don't offer anything more than she asks. Keep it short. Good luck.

My daughter went through a lot of these types of questions at 4 as well. It passed in a month or so. Hang in there.

[Anonymous]

I agree with PP to keep answers short and simple. At that age, kids are still learning logic. If A is bad then B will happen...which is sorta correct scientifically speaking, but not quite reality (for instance killing animals).

My nephew asked his mom why good people (he was referring to a family member who recently passed) died. How do you answer that? How do adults even cope with that million dollar question? I think it also depends on your spiritual and/or religious upbringing - I'm not sure what your status is in your home. Does your preschooler know about God, if so, perhaps you could incorporate that into your answer.

Also, you may look at the library for some children's books addressing some of these issues. I know there was on book, and I can't remember the title, about pets dieing.

I guess I would also suggest to keep communication open. Wouldn't you rather have your DD get the "answers" from you than a movie/classmate or any other source that could be misinformed?

Just a few thoughts...

[Anonymous]

I think it's fine to also say "I don't know" or "Some people think X and other people think Y"... But at the same time, I think it's important not to give a child too much information of a nature they're not prepared to handle. A kid can very easily blow things up or have the bejeesus scared out of them to a point of obsession, in my opinion.

[Anonymous]

One point we've made when our dd asks is that all living things die. Trees, animals, people... That sort of straight-forward answer might help with the questions like, "why do good people die."