Jealous of sister's boyfriend

[Anonymous]

I've been dating for a while and have never quite found a man to treat me to nice things.my BFs have usually been broke or poor and never have thought to really get me nice jewelry. My younger sister however has been dating a 25 year old guy during the past year and he has surprised and amazed me with thoughtfulness as a whole. He seems like a catch. He chased her to date him for a year and she finally said yes. Then he took her out on proper dates, wooed her with chocolates and surprise presents, introduced her to his very nice family 5 months in and they welcomed her with open arms. There was no drama no dies he like me does he not like me no issues with ex gfs etc.

He does everything perfectly and goes above and beyond to show his affections.

This Valentine's Day he got her a large bouquet of flowers and then a fancy pair of earrings from Tiffanys.

No one has ever done that for me. I've had to fight and scream and cry to get get an ex BF to even get me flowers. For my Valentines dates I usually just get a dinner out if I'm lucky.

I feel really bummed and honestly jealous. I deserve to be treated well too.

[Anonymous]

Ugh! Change your attitude. It is very ugly in its neediness.

[Anonymous]

So break up with guys who don't treat you well

I don't think fancy jewelry is the best measure of that however

[Anonymous]

The problem is you. I've found that the people with the most drama in their lives, cause it and relish it.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:No one has ever done that for me. I've had to fight and scream and cry to get get an ex BF to even get me flowers. For my Valentines dates I usually just get a dinner out if I'm lucky.

I feel really bummed and honestly jealous. I deserve to be treated well too.

Maybe the fighting and screaming is part of your problem? Yes, you deserve to be treated well, but you also reap what you sow.

[Anonymous]

It might not last, which won't be so bad either.

DH got me the most stunning flowers when we were dating, as well as interesting nights out. No jewelry, because he was poor at the time.
Then we got married, he did buy me jewelry, and little by little those kinds of attentions petered out.
I don't care, because our minds are now focused on other things, and Valentine's Day is not important anymore. Or as DH explained to his work colleague, every day is Valentine's Day.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:No one has ever done that for me. I've had to fight and scream and cry to get get an ex BF to even get me flowers. For my Valentines dates I usually just get a dinner out if I'm lucky.

I feel really bummed and honestly jealous. I deserve to be treated well too.

Maybe the fighting and screaming is part of your problem? Yes, you deserve to be treated well, but you also reap what you sow.

I'm referencing an incident where a BF never got me flowers or chocolates after a year of dating. I'd casually mention wanting flowers to explicitly and nicely saying, " honey I'd love it if you surprised me with pink flowers."

Nothing.

I then felt sorry for myself and cried.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:No one has ever done that for me. I've had to fight and scream and cry to get get an ex BF to even get me flowers. For my Valentines dates I usually just get a dinner out if I'm lucky.

I feel really bummed and honestly jealous. I deserve to be treated well too.

Maybe the fighting and screaming is part of your problem? Yes, you deserve to be treated well, but you also reap what you sow.

I'm referencing an incident where a BF never got me flowers or chocolates after a year of dating. I'd casually mention wanting flowers to explicitly and nicely saying, " honey I'd love it if you surprised me with pink flowers."

Nothing.

I then felt sorry for myself and cried.

is your sister hotter, more feminine, and sweeter than you are?

[Anonymous]

My sister dated and eventually married a guy, who to me, treated her much like you say your sister's boyfriend treats her. She always got the great gifts. They eventually got married, and then divorced only a couple of years later because it turned out, he was an abusive and alcoholic husband. Be careful with the the ones who seem too good to be true.

[Anonymous]

Fancy gifts aren't a measure of a good relationship. You're looking at superficial things. The lack of drama is important, though, as is his good treatment of her.

Why did it take your sister a year to say yes to a date? Perhaps, like you, she was drawn to drama/tension/unavailable men and it took some persuasion for her to give him a chance.

So you do the same - open your mind to people you might not mmediately attracted to. Don't date someone who isn't kind and sincere. You can choose a better quality partner.
But Tiffany earrings don't mean anything. I mean, they're nice but you don't need that.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:The problem is you. I've found that the people with the most drama in their lives, cause it and relish it.

Yep

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:No one has ever done that for me. I've had to fight and scream and cry to get get an ex BF to even get me flowers. For my Valentines dates I usually just get a dinner out if I'm lucky.

I feel really bummed and honestly jealous. I deserve to be treated well too.

Maybe the fighting and screaming is part of your problem? Yes, you deserve to be treated well, but you also reap what you sow.

I'm referencing an incident where a BF never got me flowers or chocolates after a year of dating. I'd casually mention wanting flowers to explicitly and nicely saying, " honey I'd love it if you surprised me with pink flowers."

Nothing.

I then felt sorry for myself and cried.

Yes. She certainly is more conventionally attractive. Skinny drake but big boobs, nice head of thick Kate Middleton hair and gorgeous smile. She looks like a movie star and turns heads when she enters rooms. She is also very popular and friendly. Her BF is obviously pretty wealthy since he spent a lot on her for Christmas too. His family is very well to do.

I'm not ugly but I'm pretty plain and pretty old now at 30. Even at my prime I did not receive the attention she did and the only guys who would approach me were loser-ish with personality or social issues. They were also never this rich.

I can't help but feel shitty since she's obviously a better catch than me and so gets attention, and the right kind from better quality guys.

is your sister hotter, more feminine, and sweeter than you are?

[Anonymous]

Your sister may have a higher bar than you. And sounds like she doesn't entertain dudes she doesn't think are worthy. You sound like you do.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Fancy gifts aren't a measure of a good relationship. You're looking at superficial things. The lack of drama is important, though, as is his good treatment of her.

Why did it take your sister a year to say yes to a date? Perhaps, like you, she was drawn to drama/tension/unavailable men and it took some persuasion for her to give him a chance.

So you do the same - open your mind to people you might not mmediately attracted to. Don't date someone who isn't kind and sincere. You can choose a better quality partner.
But Tiffany earrings don't mean anything. I mean, they're nice but you don't need that.

She first didn't want to date him and then his persistence and wooing with boxes upon boxes of expensive chocolates won her over.

I just can't believe how picture perfect he appears to be. Very nice, thoughtful, fully commited to her, from a close knit loving family, super rich.

It seems unreal!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I'm referencing an incident where a BF never got me flowers or chocolates after a year of dating.

Why did you stick with him after the first month, then? You started dating the wrong kid of guy and then stuck with him even though he wasn't meeting your needs and preferences. That's on you.