Traits of a husband material guy

[Anonymous]

Ladies in happy marriages with great husbands, do tell; how did you know your then boyfriend was husband material? What traits did he exhibit?

In my case, I knew my dh was husband material because when I asked him on our first date, "what are your goals in life?" he said, " a house, family. lots of kids. make enough money so my wife doesn't have to work"

he was 23 at the time!

I was really impressed.

Also, he was very close to his family and friends. Kind hearted. Hard working.

[Anonymous]

You say your DH is great. So why are you posting this? The post seems to come from a single gal.

[Anonymous]

I wish I could find a man like your husband.
I sometimes feel like I'm too stupid to be single. I'd be really happy to stay home and take care of a house and bunch of kids.

But, I' really not good at anything else, and I've tried.
I can hold down a job and pay bills, but I'm just lacking. It's hard to explain.
But my dream would be to find and marry a hardworking, honest, moral, loving, and sweet man who would be able and happy for me to stay home and care for the kids.
Unfortunately for me I'm no good at attracting the opposite sex.

[Anonymous]

Totally opposite. In my case, I made it clear I wanted a career and his career aspirations wouldn't trump mine.

He wasn't threatened by my massive ego. We clicked and the rest is history!

He complements my personality if that makes sense. He's far more patient and kind than I am and he's really smart. I'm an intense female who wanted a less intense but intellectually equal partner.

Very happy DW

[Anonymous]

Compassion first and foremost. Nothing else matters.

I also adore a man who has a yearning to understand a person, rather than lust after the exterior. I've seen very few in this category.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Totally opposite. In my case, I made it clear I wanted a career and his career aspirations wouldn't trump mine.

He wasn't threatened by my massive ego. We clicked and the rest is history!

He complements my personality if that makes sense. He's far more patient and kind than I am and he's really smart. I'm an intense female who wanted a less intense but intellectually equal partner.

Very happy DW

+1, same here, happy DW!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Compassion first and foremost. Nothing else matters.

I also adore a man who has a yearning to understand a person, rather than lust after the exterior. I've seen very few in this category.

OP here.

I agree. Kindness and compassion. THE most important. You can;t imagine how well he has taken care of me and been there for me.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Ladies in happy marriages with great husbands, do tell; how did you know your then boyfriend was husband material? What traits did he exhibit?

In my case, I knew my dh was husband material because when I asked him on our first date, "what are your goals in life?" he said, " a house, family. lots of kids. make enough money so my wife doesn't have to work"

he was 23 at the time!

I was really impressed.

Also, he was very close to his family and friends. Kind hearted. Hard working.

Both of those would be turn offs to me.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I wish I could find a man like your husband.
I sometimes feel like I'm too stupid to be single. I'd be really happy to stay home and take care of a house and bunch of kids.

But, I' really not good at anything else, and I've tried.
I can hold down a job and pay bills, but I'm just lacking. It's hard to explain.
But my dream would be to find and marry a hardworking, honest, moral, loving, and sweet man who would be able and happy for me to stay home and care for the kids.
Unfortunately for me I'm no good at attracting the opposite sex.

How do you know you'd be a good housewife? I thought the same thing. I hated it. Got divorced. Went back to school. I'm a career woman now and take very good care of myself and DC. I think I thought it was the only option for me because I still had not figured out what I wanted to do yet. My ex was awful, so that really pushed me in the direction of independence. I'd still like to me married though, just to someone else.

[Anonymous]

Words are cheap. I would not base it on what he "says" he will do, but what on he actually does or has done. Character is extremely important.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I wish I could find a man like your husband.
I sometimes feel like I'm too stupid to be single. I'd be really happy to stay home and take care of a house and bunch of kids.

But, I' really not good at anything else, and I've tried.
I can hold down a job and pay bills, but I'm just lacking. It's hard to explain.
But my dream would be to find and marry a hardworking, honest, moral, loving, and sweet man who would be able and happy for me to stay home and care for the kids.
Unfortunately for me I'm no good at attracting the opposite sex.

How do you know you'd be a good housewife? I thought the same thing. I hated it. Got divorced. Went back to school. I'm a career woman now and take very good care of myself and DC. I think I thought it was the only option for me because I still had not figured out what I wanted to do yet. My ex was awful, so that really pushed me in the direction of independence. I'd still like to me married though, just to someone else.

Had you worked before ?

I have and been to school and have a degree. I'm just terribly bad at the things most adults seem to get intuitively. I'm just missing something it seems.
The only things I'm good at and like is caring for kids and managing household stuffs that stuff seems to make sense to me.

[Anonymous]

He was willing to have the difficult conversations-honest, but kind. Didn't just tell me what I wanted to hear.

Very respectful and treated me well.

Didn't like conflict, but didn't run away from them. And we learned how to work through them, even when emotions were high. Always came back and were very loving with each other.

Learned from our 'mistakes'. We didn't have the same fights over and over again.

Same sense of humor.

Made a finanical goal and worked towards it.

When a problem needed to be solved, listened to my input. And we solved the problem together.

Went to therapy to deal with an issue of his.

Accepted me exactly the way I am.

After disagreeing, would come back and say, "I was thinking about what you said and maybe you're right about..."

We have the same Love Languages.

There was/is so much love and respect in our relationship.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I wish I could find a man like your husband.
I sometimes feel like I'm too stupid to be single. I'd be really happy to stay home and take care of a house and bunch of kids.

But, I' really not good at anything else, and I've tried.
I can hold down a job and pay bills, but I'm just lacking. It's hard to explain.
But my dream would be to find and marry a hardworking, honest, moral, loving, and sweet man who would be able and happy for me to stay home and care for the kids.
Unfortunately for me I'm no good at attracting the opposite sex.

How do you know you'd be a good housewife? I thought the same thing. I hated it. Got divorced. Went back to school. I'm a career woman now and take very good care of myself and DC. I think I thought it was the only option for me because I still had not figured out what I wanted to do yet. My ex was awful, so that really pushed me in the direction of independence. I'd still like to me married though, just to someone else.

Had you worked before ?

I have and been to school and have a degree. I'm just terribly bad at the things most adults seem to get intuitively. I'm just missing something it seems.
The only things I'm good at and like is caring for kids and managing household stuffs that stuff seems to make sense to me.

No, I was just out of college when I got married. The only jobs I'd had in school were at a library and as a bank teller. I did have a BA degree, but it was in liberal arts, so I had no plans for after college. I was living with my parents because I couldn't afford to live on my own and marriage sounded like "job" I could do because I didn't think I could do anything else.
I still think marriage is great, and you might find yourself in one that nurtures your talents and spirit. That just didn't happen for me.

[Anonymous]

Scientific answer: kindness and generosity
http://www.businessinsider.com/lasting-relationships-rely-on-traits-2015-11

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I wish I could find a man like your husband.
I sometimes feel like I'm too stupid to be single. I'd be really happy to stay home and take care of a house and bunch of kids.

But, I' really not good at anything else, and I've tried.
I can hold down a job and pay bills, but I'm just lacking. It's hard to explain.
But my dream would be to find and marry a hardworking, honest, moral, loving, and sweet man who would be able and happy for me to stay home and care for the kids.
Unfortunately for me I'm no good at attracting the opposite sex.

How do you know you'd be a good housewife? I thought the same thing. I hated it. Got divorced. Went back to school. I'm a career woman now and take very good care of myself and DC. I think I thought it was the only option for me because I still had not figured out what I wanted to do yet. My ex was awful, so that really pushed me in the direction of independence. I'd still like to me married though, just to someone else.

Had you worked before ?

I have and been to school and have a degree. I'm just terribly bad at the things most adults seem to get intuitively. I'm just missing something it seems.
The only things I'm good at and like is caring for kids and managing household stuffs that stuff seems to make sense to me.

No, I was just out of college when I got married. The only jobs I'd had in school were at a library and as a bank teller. I did have a BA degree, but it was in liberal arts, so I had no plans for after college. I was living with my parents because I couldn't afford to live on my own and marriage sounded like "job" I could do because I didn't think I could do anything else.
I still think marriage is great, and you might find yourself in one that nurtures your talents and spirit. That just didn't happen for me.

Thanks. I hope you fund what you are looking for as well.