child support in VA for a current SAHM

[Anonymous]

My marriage seems to be going no where fast and I'm very worried about what would happen financially. I am currently a SAHM in Virginia to two very young children. My husband earns about $250K per year. In my pre-SAM career, I would earn about 60K at most if I returned to work. How does child support in VA work? What if I moved back to my home state with the children? Recommendations for a good family law attorney in NOVA with whom I could consult? Thanks for any advice. Feeling very scared.

[Anonymous]

This pretty much has everything in it re: child support:
http://www.beankinney.com/assets/htmldocuments/Va%20Support%20Statute%20with%20Chart%2000450624xAC2B5.pdf

[Anonymous]

You likely won't be allowed to move the kids away from dad-- you would need to get his sign-off.

Start looking for jobs NOW. Even if your marriage improves, you will want to be working for your own financial security.

I am not sure how VA support works-- but you would likely get some child support and spousal support for a few years. But if he wants 50% custody (which is largely granted these days), child support will likely be smaller than you think.

Start looking for a job now. I was a SAHM for 5 years and it took me about 1 year to find a job. I started off low-paying, but within a year found a better job (paying 6-figures). So don't turn up your nose if the first job offer back is 45k or so...go to work and get promoted (or, as my case, in a year apply for a better job). It's humbling to lose money at the outset, but financial independence is worth it.

Good luck!

[Anonymous]

OP here: thank you for the replies. We have several homes that are rentals. Would we be forced to sell and split any profits? Just trying to determine how I would make it, financially, at least until my children begin school.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:OP here: thank you for the replies. We have several homes that are rentals. Would we be forced to sell and split any profits? Just trying to determine how I would make it, financially, at least until my children begin school.

Did one of you own them before you got married?

Most likely you would sell and the proceeds would be added to the assets to be equitably divided.

You will support yourself, financially, by getting a job.

[Anonymous]

I'd find a job first before filing for divorce.

[Anonymous]

As a SAHM I would assume you would qualify for rehabilitative alimony. Where your ex would need to continue supporting while you search for a job or go back to school to acquire new skills.

More about that here - http://www.vadivorceonline.com/vapages/alimony/alimony.asp

[Anonymous]

Unless there is abuse, I'd get a job but stay married until the kids were in school FT.

Signed, a SAHM.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Unless there is abuse, I'd get a job but stay married until the kids were in school FT.

Signed, a SAHM.

+1, consider reading: Between Two Worlds

[Anonymous]

"As a SAHM I would assume you would qualify for rehabilitative alimony. Where your ex would need to continue supporting while you search for a job or go back to school to acquire new skills."

Not a whole lot - the kids aren't school age, which means that she hasn't been home very long. Ex could argue that she doesn't need to be "rehabilitative" because she hasn't been out of the workforce for very long. The fact that she left a lower paying job and therefore will likely be going back to a lower paying job goes to the amount of child support she would get. But I wouldn't count on more than a year or two of alimony, if any.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:"As a SAHM I would assume you would qualify for rehabilitative alimony. Where your ex would need to continue supporting while you search for a job or go back to school to acquire new skills."

Not a whole lot - the kids aren't school age, which means that she hasn't been home very long. Ex could argue that she doesn't need to be "rehabilitative" because she hasn't been out of the workforce for very long. The fact that she left a lower paying job and therefore will likely be going back to a lower paying job goes to the amount of child support she would get. But I wouldn't count on more than a year or two of alimony, if any.

Hah. My husband works and he qualifies for alimony because my income is higher. Never assume.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:OP here: thank you for the replies. We have several homes that are rentals. Would we be forced to sell and split any profits? Just trying to determine how I would make it, financially, at least until my children begin school.

The reality is, if you are divorcing with young kids, your days as a SAHM are over. You will have to get a job to support them. Even if you get to split some assets, even if you get child support. You have to have a job.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP here: thank you for the replies. We have several homes that are rentals. Would we be forced to sell and split any profits? Just trying to determine how I would make it, financially, at least until my children begin school.

The reality is, if you are divorcing with young kids, your days as a SAHM are over. You will have to get a job to support them. Even if you get to split some assets, even if you get child support. You have to have a job.

Her "making it" probably more refers to how is she going to pay for FT daycare on a 60k income. Sure. Shell she support, possibly 3k/mo (generous), but that's tough with 2 little ones in FT care. Her income will probably only net her $3750/mo and that is without any retirement or health deductions. HOPEFULLY they have enough assets they can liquidate that will giver her a soft landing.

I'm not at all against being a SAHM, but women need to be VERY careful that they only do this I'd they are in a very solid marriage. If not. Just suck not up and keep woeking. The big losers in any divorce are women and children.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP here: thank you for the replies. We have several homes that are rentals. Would we be forced to sell and split any profits? Just trying to determine how I would make it, financially, at least until my children begin school.

The reality is, if you are divorcing with young kids, your days as a SAHM are over. You will have to get a job to support them. Even if you get to split some assets, even if you get child support. You have to have a job.

Her "making it" probably more refers to how is she going to pay for FT daycare on a 60k income. Sure. Shell she support, possibly 3k/mo (generous), but that's tough with 2 little ones in FT care. Her income will probably only net her $3750/mo and that is without any retirement or health deductions. HOPEFULLY they have enough assets they can liquidate that will giver her a soft landing.

I'm not at all against being a SAHM, but women need to be VERY careful that they only do this I'd they are in a very solid marriage. If not. Just suck not up and keep woeking. The big losers in any divorce are women and children.

I'd say it's more random, but with the kids almost always losing, the woman usually losing, and the man losing often enough (e.g. being made to pay alimony for life despite the woman being in her early 30s, getting some judge who still thinks Don Draper-style custody needs to be the norm, etc.)

[Anonymous]

My two cents... See if you can work on your marriage. You say it's going nowhere fast, but marriages often take a dip the first couple of years after children. Going nowhere fast is different from terrible, abusive, cheater, addict.

Get at least a part time job. I mostly SAH, but have worked at least 1/4 time since my daughter was 6 months. It's a lot easier to ramp up from there.

Know how much your rentals are worth, how much they would sell for, what the monthly rent is. I'm amazed by how many spouses don't know this info ( my DH is one). Make sure you are saving for your own retirement as a SAHP.