Don't like DS's new house

[Anonymous]

Well apparently my opinion means nothing to my son and his wife. After they turned down a VERY generous loan for their down payment, they went shopping and put in an offer. Sent my husband and I the link.

I don't think it is a good house, price or location! I used Google Earth to look at it. It looks like their neighbors have a big boat parked in their driveway. The interior carpets look shabby and paint colors need updating.

I don't understand why they won't accept the loan to make updates, at least. My other son accepted a generous loan and was grateful.

Any thoughts on why my generosity was denied? I feel like my DIL is hurrying this move just because it is 20 minutes further away.

[Anonymous]

It sounds like you raised a very independent son. Be proud.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Well apparently my opinion means nothing to my son and his wife. After they turned down a VERY generous loan for their down payment, they went shopping and put in an offer. Sent my husband and I the link.

I don't think it is a good house, price or location! I used Google Earth to look at it. It looks like their neighbors have a big boat parked in their driveway. The interior carpets look shabby and paint colors need updating.

I don't understand why they won't accept the loan to make updates, at least. My other son accepted a generous loan and was grateful.

Any thoughts on why my generosity was denied? I feel like my DIL is hurrying this move just because it is 20 minutes further away.

They don't want to hear your opinion. That's also why they didn't accept your "loan" because you think you then have a right to express said opinion.
Glad you aren't my ILs.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Well apparently my opinion means nothing to my son and his wife. After they turned down a VERY generous loan for their down payment, they went shopping and put in an offer. Sent my husband and I the link.

I don't think it is a good house, price or location! I used Google Earth to look at it. It looks like their neighbors have a big boat parked in their driveway. The interior carpets look shabby and paint colors need updating.

I don't understand why they won't accept the loan to make updates, at least. My other son accepted a generous loan and was grateful.

Any thoughts on why my generosity was denied? I feel like my DIL is hurrying this move just because it is 20 minutes further away.

Does your generosity tend to have strings attached? In other words, if they took your gift, would they be compelled to buy and decorate the house your way?

[Anonymous]

Seriously? MYOB. No wonder they want to move further away.

[Anonymous]

So you dont like the house you didnt help pay for?

Cool story, bro.

[Anonymous]

*Grabs popcorn*

[Anonymous]

First, is this a joke? If not, be aware that your opinion about an adult child's home purchase does not matter at all, and it sounds as if your son politely declined the use of your money so as not to have to consider your opinion. Presumably the location, price, and schools mattered more to him than the color of paint or neighbor's boat.

[Anonymous]

You are such a busybody. MYOB.

[Anonymous]

I hate the "T" word, but I am calling it here. No one is this tone deaf except on purpose.

[Anonymous]

TROLL. I never say that, but seriously.

[Anonymous]

Maybe because you're fool enough to think Google Earth is up-to-date. The pictures are often more than a year old. So you're probably seeing the house before it was fixed up for sale.

They probably don't want the loan because they think you'll be all up in their business. Of course, the joke's on them because you'll be butting in either way.

[Anonymous]

They found a house that they like and they can afford without your help. You don't have to live there and you have no right to judge them for making this decision. They don't want your money with strings and opinions attached. I can only imagine based on your post that you would be dictating to them what they should and shouldn't do with your "VERY generous loan". Back off.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Well apparently my opinion means nothing to my son and his wife. After they turned down a VERY generous loan for their down payment, they went shopping and put in an offer. Sent my husband and I the link.

I don't think it is a good house, price or location! I used Google Earth to look at it. It looks like their neighbors have a big boat parked in their driveway. The interior carpets look shabby and paint colors need updating.

I don't understand why they won't accept the loan to make updates, at least. My other son accepted a generous loan and was grateful.

Any thoughts on why my generosity was denied? I feel like my DIL is hurrying this move just because it is 20 minutes further away.

Does your generosity tend to have strings attached? In other words, if they took your gift, would they be compelled to buy and decorate the house your way?

It is their choice, I know that. I didn't say anything about the interior, but I did tell them about the boat because I didn't know if they had seen it. I wouldn't tell them what colors to choose, but they should use the money to make a nice home, that's all I want for them.

[Anonymous]

You have the right to not like it but please don't ever say that to them. My MIL told us on her first visit to our new forever home that she doesn't like the style etc etc. She was negative during her whole stay and put an awful pall over her whole stay, our excitement on moving in and that Christmas, the first in our home. Neither of us have gotten over it even though it's been two years. It's not yours, you didn't pay for it, so you don't count on this one.