To cry or not cry

[Anonymous]

I have a sad situation going on in my life right now. I can easily break into tears and sob over it but I can also keep busy today and avoid crying. Which is better? Does crying bring on more crying or can I actually cry it out? I have a long couple of weeks ahead of me to deal with this situation and I'd like to hold it together - but today I have off and could cry all day if I let myself.

So, to cry or not to cry?

[Anonymous]

If you can be busy and take your mind off the sad thing, I'd say get busy. Crying isn't always a release.

[Anonymous]

I find that I can almost never cry for myself. Friends and family, fictional characters, and even strangers, I can cry buckets for.

[Anonymous]

Can you cry something out and be done with it? Or does crying beget more crying? Good question.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Can you cry something out and be done with it? Or does crying beget more crying? Good question.

BTW, I am sorry for whatever you are going through, OP.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I have a sad situation going on in my life right now. I can easily break into tears and sob over it but I can also keep busy today and avoid crying. Which is better? Does crying bring on more crying or can I actually cry it out? I have a long couple of weeks ahead of me to deal with this situation and I'd like to hold it together - but today I have off and could cry all day if I let myself.

So, to cry or not to cry?

Crying can help you feel better. It can release hormones that make you feel better.

[Anonymous]

I find holding it together in the midst of the crisis works, then letting it all out at the end works for me

[Anonymous]

While I don't know what you're going through, I do suggest crying (if you really can) since you have more stuff coming up.

I was in a grief support "group" (counseling) after my mother died. During part of that, we had to do a timeline of loss during our lives. "Loss" was defined as anything that was a "loss" - loss of a job (either voluntarily or not), move, loss of friends, end of marriage/relationship, and loss of friend/family/pet through death.

Our counselors said that if we can't fully grieve a loss, it builds over time and is still with you for the subsequent losses.

That isn't to say you should go around a sobbing mess. Staying busy is very helpful for our emotional health. But don't ignore emotions of sadness or loss.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:While I don't know what you're going through, I do suggest crying (if you really can) since you have more stuff coming up.

I was in a grief support "group" (counseling) after my mother died. During part of that, we had to do a timeline of loss during our lives. "Loss" was defined as anything that was a "loss" - loss of a job (either voluntarily or not), move, loss of friends, end of marriage/relationship, and loss of friend/family/pet through death.

Our counselors said that if we can't fully grieve a loss, it builds over time and is still with you for the subsequent losses.

That isn't to say you should go around a sobbing mess. Staying busy is very helpful for our emotional health. But don't ignore emotions of sadness or loss.

Brilliant advice. Not OP but thank you.

[Anonymous]

It's alright to cry.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Y52bs0aX6v8

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I have a sad situation going on in my life right now. I can easily break into tears and sob over it but I can also keep busy today and avoid crying. Which is better? Does crying bring on more crying or can I actually cry it out? I have a long couple of weeks ahead of me to deal with this situation and I'd like to hold it together - but today I have off and could cry all day if I let myself.

So, to cry or not to cry?

Crying can help you feel better. It can release hormones that make you feel better.

If you have a time where you can face being sad and allow yourself to cry, I'd do it. Let some of the tension out. Set a time limit--you can wallow in sadness for two hours, and then you're going to do X.

[Anonymous]

Do both. Allow yourself some time to fall apart and then go be productive. Then let yourself fall apart again if need be.

You can even schedule it. I will give myself 15 minutes at 4pm to go get it all out. THen I'll come back and finish this project...

[Anonymous]

If you have the opportunity to go and flat out sob and you're comfortable with it (I,e, you said you had off today) - do it. I agree with pp - it doesn't have to be an either or thing. There have been times where I just needed to be by myself. I'd put on TV or an audiobook or music and kept my hands busy, but if I felt like sobbing while doing dishes, so be it (although for the record, put the dishes down if you feel you may drop them...having to clean up broken glass after a crying jag suck!)

I never found that crying lead to more crying unless I needed it. I also don't know if crying helped me keep it together in the ling run. I just know that crying at that specific point in time helped, so now I"m recommending that to you!

Sending hugs to you regardless of what you are doing.

[Anonymous]

That's your call, big guy. I'll let you take the lead on this.

[Anonymous]

Cry. Crying has a way of desensitizing you to a situation (thus the phrase "all cried out") as long as you do not add to it. You know what I mean - the emotional downward spiral (like the end of a relationship means you are going to die a lonely bag woman). Stick to the sadness at hand and let it out.