I’ve created a monster. Can I nip this in the bud?

[Anonymous]

Its laughable to me that its such an "ordeal" and "Not easy by any means" for you to hop in the car and drive 1.5 miles (or whatever) to the school but your daughter can't complain or ask for rides walking home after a full day of middle school (exhausting) carrying a heavy bag (we never had to haul laptops around), with period cramps, etc.

You sound like a low effort kind of parent.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Why can’t she bike to school? That would be my solution.

In this area? Not very safe!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:most parents drive their kids to school through high school

I was rarely driven to school by my parents at all. And I never drove my kids since I raised them in a city with mass transit.

You had to walk uphill to school both ways, right?

[Anonymous]

Can you choose a meeting place a few blocks from schools to miss a few lights and the pick up line. I did this with my kid in elementary
school. I dropped her a block from school and it saved me about 30 mins from the line.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:PP mentioned walking with her, I love this idea. Even meet her halfway, you can take some of her stuff and you can catch up on your days together while you head home.

This.

[Anonymous]

Why did you have kids?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Its laughable to me that its such an "ordeal" and "Not easy by any means" for you to hop in the car and drive 1.5 miles (or whatever) to the school but your daughter can't complain or ask for rides walking home after a full day of middle school (exhausting) carrying a heavy bag (we never had to haul laptops around), with period cramps, etc.

You sound like a low effort kind of parent.

This. If you truly can't do it that's different, but it doesn't sound like that is the case.

[Anonymous]

fwiw, our child, 12, walks nearly a mile to and from school every day. Only exceptions are torrential downpours and below 30 degrees. She manages fine. I WFH and either start my day around 730am or I make myself busy with household chores (laundry, water plants, choose to walk the dog) around 730am so as to thwart any potential whining or complaining. Occasionally we might make an exception but she appreciates it then -- as opposed to expects it. She has met kids in other grades this way and has devised a few routes depending on which kids are walking. Overall, she enjoys the independence. YMMV.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:most parents drive their kids to school through high school

OP here. I think this is part of the problem, too. I do drive her in the AM. In the winter it was SO DARK and she has to traverse a really dangerous intersection where kids have been hit on more than one occasion. I think this is the problem. She just assumes I don’t mind doing it.

We drive ours. Of course we mind but its part of parenting and spending time with them.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:fwiw, our child, 12, walks nearly a mile to and from school every day. Only exceptions are torrential downpours and below 30 degrees. She manages fine. I WFH and either start my day around 730am or I make myself busy with household chores (laundry, water plants, choose to walk the dog) around 730am so as to thwart any potential whining or complaining. Occasionally we might make an exception but she appreciates it then -- as opposed to expects it. She has met kids in other grades this way and has devised a few routes depending on which kids are walking. Overall, she enjoys the independence. YMMV.

Why wouldn't you drive your kid?

[Anonymous]

OP, do you want HER to be able to set boundaries for herself, in her life? Be an example.

Want to be a wimp, not speak your mind. Not be able to say, no ... go ahead and keep doing what you're doing.

[Anonymous]

"
Can you choose a meeting place a few blocks from schools to miss a few lights and the pick up line. I did this with my kid in elementary
school. I dropped her a block from school and it saved me about 30 mins from the line."

It sounds like that would be about the same distance as this kid just walking to her own front door.

[Anonymous]

Wow. Pick up your kid, OP.

[Anonymous]

We're in a similar situation with my son. If it works for me, I will pick him up, if it doesn't, I just respond, "sorry that does not work for me." Why are you not responding at all, unless you are on a work teams/zoom or otherwise tied up?

[Anonymous]

Schools have expanded walk zones because of the bus driver shortage and reducing costs, so likely your DD is walking a fairly long walk far beyond what used to be reasonable.

The climate here is hardly “nice walk” for most of the year — we have two days of spring and fall, then long stretches of dark cold or humid hot. With books and tablets and lunch it’s a bit of misery after a long school day. I suspect there are no friends to walk with home — everyone is picking up their kid, see the long carline.

It sounds like you are home, don’t work (I’m 100% sure that would have been in your OP), so this is just laziness on your part (oh the stoplights!). Get over it and be a parent, that’s the P in SAHP, not pharaoh lying around being fed grapes.

Some ideas.

1) most middle schools have after school clubs and sports, so have her take part in some of those — there is often a late bus so it might even go near your home and they don’t check boundaries usually.

2) hang out at school or a coffee shop or library . Late bus or pickup when you have time or are picking up other kids, finish your crossword or whatever you do all day.

3). Pp mentioned having her walk somewhere and meet you. Alternatively you can go and park, and walk the meet her and you both get some exercise, and saved you the cost of that days Pilates class.

4) no bikes or scooters — car line, people rushing home, it’s a game of real life frogger and she needs to be safe