If you grew up lower class and became rich

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:How small the world of other rich people is.

We just came back from a resort in another part of the country where it seemed like half the families there were from our city and small group of private schools. Most people I met at the resort knew someone I knew.

We recently went to a political fundraiser where we only knew one other couple going. But when we arrived there were so many people we knew - many of which also knew each other not through us.

You really end up in just like an orbit of other rich people if you do typical rich people things like private schools, philanthropy, luxury travel. I had no idea about this growing up MC (and LC at various times).

The world feels absurdly small. DH and I are going to be renting a home similar in size/location to the one we own, and we looked at 3 houses. Two were shown to us by the owner/landlords and we had a crazy amount in common, including people, with each one. I had a friend who would respond to "It's a small world" with "No, it isn't. It's a small social class."

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I grew up in bottom 1% (food stamps, free hot lunches, absent father) and moved up to probably top 5% (est. 350k/yr.).
When I was coming up, I actually believed that poor people were poor because they didn't work hard, and that rich people busted their ass*s off to get rich. Hah, was I a fool.
1) The higher one moves up, the easier their job gets because of deference, prestige, etc.
2) 90+% of wealth in America is inherited, no one worked for it (except the dead people who actually built it).

PP here - I've worked cleaning restrooms and as a $600 an hour lawyer. I'd rather spend 70 hours per week as a lawyer (where people repect you and defer to you) vs. 40 hours cleaning (where people assume you are stupid).

With respect to net worth, most MC, UMC, & UC people will inherit most of their life's net worth when their parents pass away. Most poor people will inherit a funeral bill. So yes, most NW is inherited.

HuH? Most NW is NOT inherited.

Most of my NW was not inherited, as in someone died and left a pile of cash to me. Most of my NW is money I have worked for. But ... family wealth is why I've been able to accumulate that money -- for example I have zero student loans; my mother paid for college, my grandmother paid for my law school, and my boyfriend (with family wealth of his own that allowed him to be able to afford it) paid for my MFA (he's now my DH). And I was able to buy a condo in my early 30s when an apartment building I lived in went condo because my mother gifted me money to use as a down payment. That property appreciated, and I made quite a bit of money when I sold it when DH and I bought our house.

So I have accumulated wealth as a result of some things that cost some money up front -- a professional education and the opportunity to invest in real estate. Money that came from family wealth, even though it didn't come to me after someone died. So although I'd agree with you that the NW of lots of rich folks, especially around here, doesn't consist of directly inherited funds -- generational wealth is still at play.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Discomfort not Siam fort!

Best autocorrect ever, lol.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:What surprised you most about being rich? Or what surprised you most about the lives of rich people?

DH and I are UMC/UC, and grew up in UMC/UC communities, but LMC to poor (fluctuating, depending on time and other variables) ourselves. We are keenly aware that there is no one to help us if we were to need money. You learn a lot about people, their attitudes toward money, and their sense of entitlement, when people think you have more than they do. We learned that many (most?) people like to count other people's pennies, and make assumptions about how other people acquired their money, and spend (or don't spend) their money. A uncomfortably large number of people think you should be spending it on them. It is eye opening.

One consistent observation DH and I have made is that people who are down to earth are assumed to not be rich, in this area, which DH and I find comical. We gravitate toward people who are self made, for this reason, and strive to avoid pretentious or stuffy people who take themselves too seriously (and tend to be as boring as they seem).

I have no idea what you are talking about. Perhaps I'm not understanding what you mean by "down to earth"? Because I'm not seeing a lot of over-the-top pretentiousness anywhere. Not seeing a lot of "stuffy people" either. Oblivious entitlement, yes. Competitive and striving, yes. Obsession with appearances and keeping up the Joneses and upward mobility exists around here, of course, especially on this website, but out in the DMV wilds? I don't see that much of it in action. And I certainly don't see anyone assuming that folks who are what I would think of as "down to earth" are not "rich." I do think a lot of people on DCUM see UMC and think that it = rich, and that isn't the perspective of everyone and muddles conversations like this a bit.

I'm not PP but I think PP is saying that there exists a stereotype that people who are down to earth are not rich. PP finds this stereotype comical because in PP's experience, people who are rich are also down to earth as they are likely self made.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:What surprised you most about being rich? Or what surprised you most about the lives of rich people?

DH and I are UMC/UC, and grew up in UMC/UC communities, but LMC to poor (fluctuating, depending on time and other variables) ourselves. We are keenly aware that there is no one to help us if we were to need money. You learn a lot about people, their attitudes toward money, and their sense of entitlement, when people think you have more than they do. We learned that many (most?) people like to count other people's pennies, and make assumptions about how other people acquired their money, and spend (or don't spend) their money. A uncomfortably large number of people think you should be spending it on them. It is eye opening.

One consistent observation DH and I have made is that people who are down to earth are assumed to not be rich, in this area, which DH and I find comical. We gravitate toward people who are self made, for this reason, and strive to avoid pretentious or stuffy people who take themselves too seriously (and tend to be as boring as they seem).

I have no idea what you are talking about. Perhaps I'm not understanding what you mean by "down to earth"? Because I'm not seeing a lot of over-the-top pretentiousness anywhere. Not seeing a lot of "stuffy people" either. Oblivious entitlement, yes. Competitive and striving, yes. Obsession with appearances and keeping up the Joneses and upward mobility exists around here, of course, especially on this website, but out in the DMV wilds? I don't see that much of it in action. And I certainly don't see anyone assuming that folks who are what I would think of as "down to earth" are not "rich." I do think a lot of people on DCUM see UMC and think that it = rich, and that isn't the perspective of everyone and muddles conversations like this a bit.

I'm not PP but I think PP is saying that there exists a stereotype that people who are down to earth are not rich. PP finds this stereotype comical because in PP's experience, people who are rich are also down to earth as they are likely self made.

A minority of rich people are down to earth, that’s true. But the vast majority of rich people are not down to earth. This is a fact that explains the stereotype.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:What surprised you most about being rich? Or what surprised you most about the lives of rich people?

DH and I are UMC/UC, and grew up in UMC/UC communities, but LMC to poor (fluctuating, depending on time and other variables) ourselves. We are keenly aware that there is no one to help us if we were to need money. You learn a lot about people, their attitudes toward money, and their sense of entitlement, when people think you have more than they do. We learned that many (most?) people like to count other people's pennies, and make assumptions about how other people acquired their money, and spend (or don't spend) their money. A uncomfortably large number of people think you should be spending it on them. It is eye opening.

One consistent observation DH and I have made is that people who are down to earth are assumed to not be rich, in this area, which DH and I find comical. We gravitate toward people who are self made, for this reason, and strive to avoid pretentious or stuffy people who take themselves too seriously (and tend to be as boring as they seem).

I have no idea what you are talking about. Perhaps I'm not understanding what you mean by "down to earth"? Because I'm not seeing a lot of over-the-top pretentiousness anywhere. Not seeing a lot of "stuffy people" either. Oblivious entitlement, yes. Competitive and striving, yes. Obsession with appearances and keeping up the Joneses and upward mobility exists around here, of course, especially on this website, but out in the DMV wilds? I don't see that much of it in action. And I certainly don't see anyone assuming that folks who are what I would think of as "down to earth" are not "rich." I do think a lot of people on DCUM see UMC and think that it = rich, and that isn't the perspective of everyone and muddles conversations like this a bit.

I'm not PP but I think PP is saying that there exists a stereotype that people who are down to earth are not rich. PP finds this stereotype comical because in PP's experience, people who are rich are also down to earth as they are likely self made.

A minority of rich people are down to earth, that’s true. But the vast majority of rich people are not down to earth. This is a fact that explains the stereotype.

I guess I'm really not understanding what this "down to earth" metaphor means to y'all. I'm not trying to argue, I just really don't understand exactly what this means to those of you posting this.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:How uncomfortable I am with it.

+1
Its really hard to enjoy it.

I'm also astounded by how much career success around me was built by family connections/priviledge vs. hard work.

[Anonymous]

Never wanted to buy anything, and the richer I get, the less things I want.
The rich are quiet people minus the Kardashians.

[Anonymous]

Why does poster think poor people don’t know rich people?

I was insanely poor growing up. My Mom in 1979 was a widow with a zero net worth, 9k a year income and 4 kids. A rusted out car that barely ran in a tiny tiny run down house right in top of train tracks on a tiny plot.

But I knew tons of millionaires and friends parents were very rich.

[Anonymous]

I always thought rich people would be more enlightened and kind because they were financially abundant and highly educated - shocked to find out it’s often the opposite.

I’m also shocked at how hard they push their kids to achieve - as though they have just washed up on shore and are fighting for food. Why subject your already wealthy child to physically dangerous sports? The number of wealthy kids on crutches and sustaining multiple concussions with proud parents amazes me. Poor people in the past boxed - you don’t need to do that.

I’m surprised at how much they compete with and try to one up one another financially. The car stickers for college/luxe vacations/private clubs are unique to UMC/wealthy areas - maybe just umc but stilll. I figured it was one big happy rich community where everyone is happy around one another and rich…but no - they still compete. Maybe more so than lower class areas

[Anonymous]

That people who become wealthy pretty much stay who they are, as do people who were always wealthy and lost everything. The change in attitude/expectation is in the next generation.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:What surprised you most about being rich? Or what surprised you most about the lives of rich people?

How almost all of my anxieties can be resolved with "worst case scenario, I lose $xxxx, and that would not affect my life significantly, though I'd be very annoyed about it and am going to try to stop it." When that exact same amount of money took me more than 2 years to achieve as a net worth milestone after graduating college (starting from modest student debt).

Related. How easy it is to get money just for having money, and the argument is that you deserve that because you are taking a risk with your money (investing) and the government needs people to invest in stocks or in housing (and be landlords for people who may never have a home). I get this is the whole concept of capitalism, but it really makes me look at all of those "I worked hard for my money, why am I getting taxed so much" whiners in a different light. And it is easy to lose that same money in taking risks, but generally, a diversified and balanced investment portfolio goes up.

How people that come from family with money like to talk about how hard they worked for their standing in life, especially when they are young. It isn't that they didn't work hard, but they don't see how many people work just as hard and don't get the same result. Or how they can take certain risks (and get the reward) because they have always had a family safety net to fall back on if things didn't go right.

Mostly, how much easier life is, though. You just don't have to worry about little stuff, and can look at the bigger picture of finances & life.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I’m surprised that anyone thinks “I make hours of business phone calls from my vacation house” = I work harder than poor people.

If you have the kind of job where you have to take calls on your vacation, you aren’t working a 40-hour/week job. Being on call pretty much all of the time is working harder than someone who leaves their job at 5:00 and doesn’t have to think about it until they show up again the next morning.

I disagree. As someone who takes calls on vacation when needed.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:What surprised you most about being rich? Or what surprised you most about the lives of rich people?

How almost all of my anxieties can be resolved with "worst case scenario, I lose $xxxx, and that would not affect my life significantly, though I'd be very annoyed about it and am going to try to stop it." When that exact same amount of money took me more than 2 years to achieve as a net worth milestone after graduating college (starting from modest student debt).

Related. How easy it is to get money just for having money, and the argument is that you deserve that because you are taking a risk with your money (investing) and the government needs people to invest in stocks or in housing (and be landlords for people who may never have a home). I get this is the whole concept of capitalism, but it really makes me look at all of those "I worked hard for my money, why am I getting taxed so much" whiners in a different light. And it is easy to lose that same money in taking risks, but generally, a diversified and balanced investment portfolio goes up.

How people that come from family with money like to talk about how hard they worked for their standing in life, especially when they are young. It isn't that they didn't work hard, but they don't see how many people work just as hard and don't get the same result. Or how they can take certain risks (and get the reward) because they have always had a family safety net to fall back on if things didn't go right.

Mostly, how much easier life is, though. You just don't have to worry about little stuff, and can look at the bigger picture of finances & life.

Totally! It is easy to “bootstrap” a business when you have family money and resources to fall back on.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I grew up in bottom 1% (food stamps, free hot lunches, absent father) and moved up to probably top 5% (est. 350k/yr.).
When I was coming up, I actually believed that poor people were poor because they didn't work hard, and that rich people busted their ass*s off to get rich. Hah, was I a fool.
1) The higher one moves up, the easier their job gets because of deference, prestige, etc.
2) 90+% of wealth in America is inherited, no one worked for it (except the dead people who actually built it).

PP here - I've worked cleaning restrooms and as a $600 an hour lawyer. I'd rather spend 70 hours per week as a lawyer (where people repect you and defer to you) vs. 40 hours cleaning (where people assume you are stupid).

With respect to net worth, most MC, UMC, & UC people will inherit most of their life's net worth when their parents pass away. Most poor people will inherit a funeral bill. So yes, most NW is inherited.

HuH? Most NW is NOT inherited.

Most of my NW was not inherited, as in someone died and left a pile of cash to me. Most of my NW is money I have worked for. But ... family wealth is why I've been able to accumulate that money -- for example I have zero student loans; my mother paid for college, my grandmother paid for my law school, and my boyfriend (with family wealth of his own that allowed him to be able to afford it) paid for my MFA (he's now my DH). And I was able to buy a condo in my early 30s when an apartment building I lived in went condo because my mother gifted me money to use as a down payment. That property appreciated, and I made quite a bit of money when I sold it when DH and I bought our house.

So I have accumulated wealth as a result of some things that cost some money up front -- a professional education and the opportunity to invest in real estate. Money that came from family wealth, even though it didn't come to me after someone died. So although I'd agree with you that the NW of lots of rich folks, especially around here, doesn't consist of directly inherited funds -- generational wealth is still at play.

Most of $$ you received from family was better than inheritance so you got HUGE a head start. Timing is everything, much better to receive $100K at age 30 vs. receiving $5m at age 70.