What type of child requires an almost FT special needs teacher but is super smart?

[Anonymous]

There is a kid in DS's class who is crazy smart. He is super sensitive (often cries) and is very outgoing but awkward. The SN teacher is in the class about half the time working with this student.

[Anonymous]

HFA

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:HFA

I was thinking autistic but was surprised this SN teacher was in the class almost all the time. Do autistic kids require that much extra assistance?

[Anonymous]

Aspberger (ASD spectrum)

[Anonymous]

Sometimes there is no diagnosis.

[Anonymous]

OP,

You could have described the situation like this, and added the age of the children:

"I hesitate to invite my child's classmate over, as I have observed him being highly emotional (cries a lot) over minor events. However this child seems bright and affectionate (maybe overly affectionate) and constantly asks for playdates.
I am looking for tips on how to handle an outburst if he comes to my house. Thanks!"

My son has a gifted IQ and requires nearly full-time attention from an adult in class (usually the special education teacher, since the general teacher can't be everywhere at once), because he has inattentive ADHD and daydreams or reads instead of listening to the teacher or working. He is also extremely slow, and needs scribing and note-taking assistance.

This child you are so uncharitably describing may have any number of issues - who knows? But you could try one playdate and see what happens, instead of discussing him with such disparaging inquisitiveness on DCUM. What you need to appreciate is that the boundary between normal and abnormal is fluid and changeable. You and yours could have atypical traits too!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:
OP,

You could have described the situation like this, and added the age of the children:

"I hesitate to invite my child's classmate over, as I have observed him being highly emotional (cries a lot) over minor events. However this child seems bright and affectionate (maybe overly affectionate) and constantly asks for playdates.
I am looking for tips on how to handle an outburst if he comes to my house. Thanks!"

My son has a gifted IQ and requires nearly full-time attention from an adult in class (usually the special education teacher, since the general teacher can't be everywhere at once), because he has inattentive ADHD and daydreams or reads instead of listening to the teacher or working. He is also extremely slow, and needs scribing and note-taking assistance.

This child you are so uncharitably describing may have any number of issues - who knows? But you could try one playdate and see what happens, instead of discussing him with such disparaging inquisitiveness on DCUM. What you need to appreciate is that the boundary between normal and abnormal is fluid and changeable. You and yours could have atypical traits too!

OP here. I didn't mean for the post to come out so wrong. Unfortunately you cannot edit on DCUM. My other child is the same age as the family's other NT child so we see the mom often. Our children are and will remain school friends and that is fine.

I prefer drop off play dates unless I am friends with mom. The 2 boys in DS's class live in our neighborhood so we have started to do play dates (drop off).

If the SN mom reaches out to me, I would not mind my child playing with her child. The SN child is the one directly asking me. I will not be reaching out to the mom first.

[Anonymous]

I agree with OP. Maybe she doesn't need a specific dx, but she does have a right to know what she is getting in to. She is trying to include a kid who obviously is a handful and probably has less play dates than the average kid, and is just getting bitched at for it.

OP, I'd forget it.

Other SN moms, I know you are going through a lot but unbunch your panties and realize that OP is really just trying to be nice.

[Anonymous]

OP is expressing herself badly on this thread, but I think there's a good question inside this mess: If a child requires full-time one-on-one support in school, what are the chances that child can manage a drop-off playdate?

[Anonymous]

Maybe he has a medical problem, like epilepsy, that might require immediate assistance if (in the case of epilepsy) a seizure occurred? I have no idea, but the idea that it's a physical health issue might be something to consider. If that is the case, I agree that you might need his mom or at least a trained aide or nanny over during a playdate as well.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:OP is expressing herself badly on this thread, but I think there's a good question inside this mess: If a child requires full-time one-on-one support in school, what are the chances that child can manage a drop-off playdate?

In which case she needs to talk to the child's mom. Nobody on DCUM can answer that, really.

OP you do come across as if you would be doing the child a favor. It probably is best that you skip the play date idea all together.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:There is a kid in DS's class who is crazy smart. He is super sensitive (often cries) and is very outgoing but awkward. The SN teacher is in the class about half the time working with this student.

Profound dyslexia and dysgraphia were the reasons for my crazy smart DC.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:
OP,

You could have described the situation like this, and added the age of the children:

"I hesitate to invite my child's classmate over, as I have observed him being highly emotional (cries a lot) over minor events. However this child seems bright and affectionate (maybe overly affectionate) and constantly asks for playdates.
I am looking for tips on how to handle an outburst if he comes to my house. Thanks!"

My son has a gifted IQ and requires nearly full-time attention from an adult in class (usually the special education teacher, since the general teacher can't be everywhere at once), because he has inattentive ADHD and daydreams or reads instead of listening to the teacher or working. He is also extremely slow, and needs scribing and note-taking assistance.

This child you are so uncharitably describing may have any number of issues - who knows? But you could try one playdate and see what happens, instead of discussing him with such disparaging inquisitiveness on DCUM. What you need to appreciate is that the boundary between normal and abnormal is fluid and changeable. You and yours could have atypical traits too!

OP here. I didn't mean for the post to come out so wrong. Unfortunately you cannot edit on DCUM. My other child is the same age as the family's other NT child so we see the mom often. Our children are and will remain school friends and that is fine.

I prefer drop off play dates unless I am friends with mom. The 2 boys in DS's class live in our neighborhood so we have started to do play dates (drop off).

If the SN mom reaches out to me, I would not mind my child playing with her child. The SN child is the one directly asking me. I will not be reaching out to the mom first.

Again, OP, you are using inappropriate language and it reflects how you discriminate against what you perceive to be a homogeneous group distinct from yours ("us against them" mentality). You should never describe a child who happens to have a special need as "The SN child", because no one wants to be defined by their, hopefully temporary and mild, weakness! Would you label my son, "The SN child", because of his ADHD and his need for an aide in class? That would be hurtful to me and to him. He has his own character, personality, strengths and intelligence. Indeed he is unusually creative and imaginative because he daydreams so much. It leads to excellent writing in class. Our faults are inseparable from our strengths, most of the time, did you know that?

One last tip - don't dash off thoughts on DCUM without proofreading and asking yourself if you have written clearly and to the point.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP is expressing herself badly on this thread, but I think there's a good question inside this mess: If a child requires full-time one-on-one support in school, what are the chances that child can manage a drop-off playdate?

In which case she needs to talk to the child's mom. Nobody on DCUM can answer that, really.

OP you do come across as if you would be doing the child a favor. It probably is best that you skip the play date idea all together.

What would be the best way to have this conversation? Obviously, asking about a child's diagnosis is off limits and rude. So, should OP just extend the invitation, with the expectation that it's a drop-off playdate, and hope that the child's mom volunteers whether that's something her son can manage? It seems like this could be awkward all the way around.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I agree with OP. Maybe she doesn't need a specific dx, but she does have a right to know what she is getting in to. She is trying to include a kid who obviously is a handful and probably has less play dates than the average kid, and is just getting bitched at for it.

OP, I'd forget it.

Other SN moms, I know you are going through a lot but unbunch your panties and realize that OP is really just trying to be nice.

We're talking about a playdate. 1-2 hours. The kid is not asking to move in with the OP. Give me a break. And btw I'm an NP and not the parent of a special needs child.