just checking in - when is Jesus coming back?

[Anonymous]

Anytime soon? I don't want the rapture to ruin my weekend!

[Anonymous]

next tuesday

[Anonymous]

After he's done mopping the floor and cleaning the bathrooms.

[Anonymous]

Shit -- I've got a helluva meeting scheduled for Monday and would love to see Him show up before then.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:After he's done mopping the floor and cleaning the bathrooms.

Isn't that what Mary is for?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Shit -- I've got a helluva meeting scheduled for Monday and would love to see Him show up before then.

.

Especially since it isn't going to snow anytime soon. I could use a 3 day weekend.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:After he's done mopping the floor and cleaning the bathrooms.

Isn't that what Mary is for?

No, Maria works the cash register and works for the maid service in the evenings.

So many jobs that Americans Just Won't Do!

[Anonymous]

When you stop being such a cunt.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:When you stop being such a cunt.

Well, looks like we won't be seeing him very soon, then.

[Anonymous]

Every knee will bow, and every tongue will confess.

I sincerely hope the intelligentsia here who are mocking both Jesus and Hispanics limber up.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Every knee will bow, and every tongue will confess.

I sincerely hope the intelligentsia here who are mocking both Jesus and Hispanics limber up.

Actually they aren't particularly knowledgeable, but trolls usually aren't. Jesus told Martha to get out of the kitchen and join Mary (different Mary) with all the other people who were learning from him.

[Anonymous]

Sometime in the 1st Century A.D.:
“Then they will see the Son of Man coming in clouds with great power and glory. And then He will send forth the angels, and will gather together His elect from the four winds, from the farthest end of the earth to the farthest end of heaven. Now learn the parable from the fig tree: when its branch has already become tender and puts forth its leaves, you know that summer is near. Even so, you too, when you see these things happening, recognize that He is near, right at the door. Truly I say to you, this generation will not pass away until all these things take place…“ (Mark 13:26-30)

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Sometime in the 1st Century A.D.:
“Then they will see the Son of Man coming in clouds with great power and glory. And then He will send forth the angels, and will gather together His elect from the four winds, from the farthest end of the earth to the farthest end of heaven. Now learn the parable from the fig tree: when its branch has already become tender and puts forth its leaves, you know that summer is near. Even so, you too, when you see these things happening, recognize that He is near, right at the door. Truly I say to you, this generation will not pass away until all these things take place…“ (Mark 13:26-30)

Looks like Jesus is a little bit late.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Sometime in the 1st Century A.D.:
“Then they will see the Son of Man coming in clouds with great power and glory. And then He will send forth the angels, and will gather together His elect from the four winds, from the farthest end of the earth to the farthest end of heaven. Now learn the parable from the fig tree: when its branch has already become tender and puts forth its leaves, you know that summer is near. Even so, you too, when you see these things happening, recognize that He is near, right at the door. Truly I say to you, this generation will not pass away until all these things take place…“ (Mark 13:26-30)

Looks like Jesus is a little bit late.

IN the Bible "Generation" doesn't necessarily mean 20-30 years the way it does now. It could mean 2,000 years for example. Pretty much anything in the Bible can be interpreted to mean whatever makes better sense. It's very fluid that way, which is part of the reason it has survived so long.

[Anonymous]

I wish he would come now. I have cancer and am scared.