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How Toys ‘R’ Us can change your life
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How Toys ‘R’ Us can change your life
By Jennifer | March 09, 2009 Two years ago I was a different person than I am today. Two years ago, I was healthy, active, and in good shape. I juggled two budding careers, a day job, a husband and a toddler. Two years ago, I walked into a Toys 'R' Us and my life changed. Blogging in the two years since that time has been a bit strange, for reasons I'll explain in a moment. But first, here's an abbreviated version of what happened. It could have happened to anyone. Shoddy maintenance can be hazardous to your health It was December 2006. We'd been blogging for about four months, and had yet to be posting daily or to a readership beyond a few friends and family members. Jeremiah's mother and sister were in town for a pre-holiday visit, and we went to our local Toys 'R' Us to pick up a few supplies for my sister-in-law's baby. We were all in good spirits and looking forward to a hayride through a local Christmas lights display. We hadn't been at Toys 'R' Us long when our daughter Z, then two and a half, informed us that she needed to use the restroom. I picked her up and put her on my hip and walked to the back of the store and into the restroom, which in Toys 'R' Us stores are identified with signs showing not a man or a woman but a young boy or girl. Get it? A place for kids. With Z sitting on my left hip, I walked into the bathroom and headed for the largest stall, the one designed to accommodate the physically handicapped. It never crossed my mind that by all rights this should be the "safest" one, although I think about it a lot now. I went for it, as many mother-daughter potty teams do, because it had enough room for me to stay in the stall with Z while she did her business, rather than loitering outside and wondering if and when she'd figure out how to lock (or more importantly, unlock) a bathroom stall door. I opened the stall door, walked in, and closed it - or attempted to. That's when the world, or so it felt, came crashing down on me. Commercial bathroom partitions are usually made of one of two things - sheets of metal with dead space in between, or high-density polyethylene plastic (HDPE, or #2 for those keeping score). People often think of plastic as a light material, but they're probably thinking of Gladware and baby bottles. When you think HDPE, think of car bumpers, folding tables, the bases for those portable basketball hoops. It's also used for household items like milk jugs, cutting boards, and laundry detergent bottles. It's strong, and if the term "high-density" doesn't give it away, it's heavy. The bathroom stall was 1" thick, and we later estimated its weight at at least 65 pounds, probably more. Falling onto me - a five-foot, one and one-half-inch, 110-lb. mother carrying a toddler. In the split second before the door made impact I twisted my body and hunched slightly to shield Z with my shoulder and back. It was not a calculated move based on knowledge of physics or biology or anything else. It was pure mama instinct. The stall hit me and thrust me against the bathroom wall, crushing my cell phone in the pocket of my jeans and pinning me there. Z was crying - mostly, it turned out later, in fear, as I had successfully shielded her from being injured. I cried out for help, and soon two women were in the bathroom pulling the stall door off of me. Z and I were far too upset to enjoy a hayride that night, so we skipped it. And as the adrenaline began to wear off and my brain and heart began to realize I was no longer in immediate danger, the pain set in. I went to the doctor that Monday, who took notes on my swollen hips and shoulders, a scratch, and other markings. I also began trying to deal with Toys 'R' Us to talk about the incident. I left a message with the company's "Risk Management" office, which didn't call me back. The next day, I called again and got someone. They assigned me a "file number" and a "case worker," but told me that the case worker they were assigning me was out on medical leave for an indefinite period. This concerned me, and I protested, but the representative assured that if I needed anything, "anyone who answers the phone will be able to help." Later, I received a letter from Toys 'R' Us which stated that due to their "inability" to reach me via telephone they were contacting me via letter. My home phone number is a VoIP line, so I logged into my account and checked the incoming calls to my home phone. Not one was identified as coming from Toys 'R' Us or the corporate office's area code. A crash course in chronic pain In the weeks that followed, I continued experiencing periods of unexplained pain throughout my body, which gradually increased in frequency and intensity. Over those weeks my family watched as I found myself unable to perform tasks I had taken for granted - washing dishes at our kitchen sink (we didn't have a dishwasher back then), playing "chase" with Z, or even riding in a car during our frequent trips to Houston for my photography work, a roughly two-hour trip. It wasn't long before it was impossible for me to carry my daughter at all without great pain, and began avoiding it as much as possible, although of course I often had to. I started finding myself waking unrested, even after many hours of sleep, and the pain that began in the mornings but had initially faded in the afternoon began persisting all day, leaving me fatigued by the time I got home from work. My super-organized self gradually became less and less so as I struggled to keep up with day-to-day tasks. Before the accident, I'd been in great shape, going to the gym 3-4 times a week; I quickly became unable to go at all. Shoes that I'd worn without pain for long walks in hilly San Francisco and on cobblestone throughout Europe now hurt my feet after five minutes. I underwent testing for symptoms of chronic pain, where involuntary bodily responses at 24 trigger points are used to quantify whether a predetermined threshold is met. Let's just say if they graded on a curve, I'd be ruining it. As I began seeing multiple doctors - regular visits to a chiropractor, a pain management specialist - medical bills mounted, and the co-pays, deductibles and related medical expenses soon became one of our greatest household expenditures each month. Meanwhile, it became clear to us that Toys 'R' Us didn't intend to resolve the matter privately. That's when we hired a lawyer and filed suit against the company. We've been through state-mandated mediation and are now set for trial in June. Whether we'll be able to convince a jury that Toys 'R' Us needs to make right what their negligence has made wrong remains to be seen. But what I want now, more than anything else, is justice. These days, I struggle to sleep - on my back is now too painful, and after favoring one side for a while, it becomes more painful and I have to favor the other for a while. On rare occasions I wake pain-free, and a "good day" means that the pain doesn't come until the evening; more often, I wake with it and carry it with me all day. But "pain" itself is a relative term, and I've established a new threshold for what is "normal" functioning, which in fact involves some background pain level. I try not to look in the mirror at the person I've become - ashamed of my body and my newfound struggle with weight gain, embarrassed by my pain, guilty of my impatience. It has been difficult to accept and adjust to going from a happy, healthy, physically active mother to someone who has to pick and choose which daily tasks can get accomplished well each day if at all. If you know someone with chronic pain and struggle to understand it, my best explanation of dealing with chronic pain on a daily basis is the Spoon Story [PDF]. You wouldn't know I was in pain if you met me on the street, maybe not even if we hung out for the night, possibly you wouldn't even know if you were my family or a close friend. It's not something that I enjoy talking about, and pain is something that I'm very experienced at hiding. (Years of ballet - dancing en pointe for hours at a stretch while smiling and making it look easy tends to do that to a gal.) I try not to think about the healthy meals I used to cook my family from scratch when I put a frozen pizza in the oven for the third night in a row because I'm in too much pain to cook. I try not to look at the sofa-bed that has been in permanent "bed" position in our living room for months. I try to tell myself that I can still achieve my dream of being a working photographer, even though I'm no longer able to bear the weight of my camera bag. My dream that I've been working towards for 15 years. I struggle with anger at the situation, with embarrassment at the ridiculousness of this event that has completely upended my life. (Have you ever told someone a bathroom wall fell on you? Most people's first instinct will be to laugh.) I struggle with coming to terms with the fact that I am not the mother I set out to be. I can't play with my daughter the way I used to, she may not remember me as light and fun and free and active. I struggled when I first heard my daughter, at the age of three, tell me, "It's okay Mama, I can help you walk" when I had so much pain that I can barely move. But guess what, Toys 'R' Us? I'm not dead yet. Reclaiming power A consumer advocate for children's safety is injured by a shoddy maintenance at a toy store. It would be ironic, except that the experience has probably guided some of my interest and passion in child safety. We've gotten heavily involved in advocacy surrounding BPA, phthalates, tagless onesies, car seat safety... Meanwhile, I attempted to blog occasionally about our personal life, to share what was happening with us as a family - but, because of our hopes for an out-of-court settlement with Toys 'R' Us, I was advised to avoid mentioning the disability that was coming to define it. And through it all, I have thought frequently about what might have happened if, on that December day in 2006, I had waited in the main part of the bathroom so Z could go potty "all by herself" like a big girl. Instead, she now has a mother whose capacity to physically care for her has been dealt a serious blow. But this isn't about what might have happened to my daughter. I was able to protect her. It's about what Toys 'R' Us did to me. I felt helpless for a long time, even after we'd filed a lawsuit. One couple versus a corporate giant that seemed determined to ignore the damage they'd done to me and my family until we just faded away. Lawsuits move very slowly, especially when you are injured. My physical, mental, and emotional transition - from the woman I was before I walked into Toys 'R' Us, and the women I have become since - is almost like a dream now, and I struggle to hang onto the memory of the pain-free person I once was. I still feel helpless sometimes. But I refuse to go away. If and when we get to trial, I will be not only the plaintiff but a blogger on the scene. Now that we have a court date set, what's truly ironic is that we have a well-established model for this new project. This is what we do. We gather information, ask probing questions, parse out the answers, publicize our findings, and make an argument for how things should be. We've done it with Avent, Playtex, Sassy, Tupperware, Carter's, and continue to apply pressure to companies to make them change for the better and respond to what they've done. We go to trade shows in part to introduce ourselves to new vendors and discover all of the great new children's products that come online every year. But we also go to put faces to names for people we've dealt with over the previous year, and you know what? When we show up at the booth of someone we've worked with on a contentious consumer issue, they either groan or cheer. And we like it that way. The difference, of course, is that it's personal now - but so is the BPA Dr. Brown's introduced to Z through her bottles before we knew about endocrine disruptors, or the skin lesions other people's children suffered from onesies with the same likely chemical formulation our daughter wore, but did not react to, when she was an infant. Compassion means seeing harm to everyone, yourself included, in the harm that is done to others, and we've learned that lesson well, both through parenting and through blogging. In fact, I'd say that this merging of personal and social interests is at the heart of advocacy blogging, and we're ready to show Toys 'R' Us how it's done. Low-level chemical toxicity is an evolving field of knowledge, but basic maintenance is a question of simple procedures and the reinvestment of a modest share of corporate profits to ensure customer safety. It isn't the sexiest way to spend your company's money; doing it right means your efforts barely get noticed. But doing it wrong can have deadly consequences. We intend to let the world's parents know, using the channels we already utilize to help promote child safety - Twitter, Z Recommends, and anyone who will join us in publicizing this issue - what Toys 'R' Us thinks about maintaining facilities that won't kill or injure its customers, on the record and in the public eye. We will listen to their arguments and we will share them with you. We will dip into the newly public information generated by the trial and publicize highlights. Win or lose, we will walk you through our experience and reflect on it afterwards, so you can learn from it as well. As a result, you will gain a better understanding of the ways in which one of the world's biggest toy and baby product retailers does or doesn't feel responsible for your and your children's safety, and what you can do if this happens to you. Toys 'R' Us tells us, on their site and in their stores, that "Nothing is more important than the safety of your children." They were among the first major retailers to phase out BPA & phthalates from their shelves, and claim they test products themselves for lead. But what do these gestures mean if an adult or child's physical safety is at risk in their retail stores? What do these well-funded changes in corporate policy mean if they can't keep their facilities safe for shoppers? I say it's time we found out. For reasons of law and sanity, many of our posts about this case will not be open for comments. We do welcome your thoughts, and you can share them with us at editors (at) zrecs (dot) com. But more than anything, if you have thoughts on our case or on this issue, we encourage you to share them in the places you have your own discussions - your own blog, or your favorite discussion boards, online social networks, or their real-life equivalents. We'll be listening - and so will Toys 'R' Us. |
Anonymous
| I stopped reading after the fourth paragraph. Sorry, I don't see any point to this post. |
Anonymous
| I understand what happens to you is sad and scary however couldn't this have happened anywhere? |
Anonymous
| Very odd, indeed. Perhaps the point is that due to this freak accident and the poor response to this woman by the corporate office, we should all stop shopping at toys r us? |
Anonymous
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I see her point.
you take your child to buy a toy and you're a victim of their lack of commitment to safety. she has a valid point. I hate toys r us anyway and if she said it happened at any other place I would still be on her side. you all strap your children on their chairs, in the car, everywhere... I can't imagine what kind of injuries the poor girl would have if the thing had fell on her. I'm sorry about this lady but unfortunately, costumer service is something that I've never saw in this country since I arrived here 3 years ago. That's why there are so many law suits going on all around. Individualism generates selfish individuals. Capitalism generates numbers and we forget to care about the people that make them happen. |
Anonymous
| This happened a two-hour drive from Houston, TX???? |
Anonymous
I guess so. From the OP:
I assume that the person who posted this is just a reader of whatever place it was initially posted. (Perhaps zrecs.com? I'm too lazy to do the research right now.) |
Anonymous
I feel for the OP but what happened was a structural failure in a bathroom. Seems that could happen anywhere and is not some global Toys R Us store issue. If it is an isolated case it was an accident but I do not see the point of the entire blog essay. If you were a Toys R Us issue at each of its stores I would understand. |
Anonymous
| I would love to post my experience with Comcast recently. Point me in the right direction!! |
Anonymous
| Sounds like a big part of the problem is how Toys R Us handled the matter after its negligence caused the OP's injuries. Seriously, if the store was doing regular and proper maintenance, the bathroom partition would not have collapsed on her. Their carelessness/laziness caused her significant harm, as well as harm to her family. I hope she kicks @ss at trial! |
Anonymous
Anonymous
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I feel very bad for this woman, but there's critical point in the article she does not address:
Did she notify the store management the day of the injury? She talks about two patrons of the store helping her, but she does not say if any contact was made with TRU that day. I suspect she did not and I suspect it is the reason she's been treated so shabbily by them. If she had made contact that day, the manager on duty would have been responsible for filing an accident report with the company which would have been reported to HQ and their insurance company. I also suspect it is the reason she has doubts on whether or not she will win her case. |
Anonymous
I can't believe you didn't get it.. the problem is not "it happened at tru" the problem is LOOK AT HOW THEY HANDLED[google] IT!! |
Anonymous
| Oh PP, thanks for clarifying for everyone. |