Would you be upset if DH allowed toddler DD to have alcoholic drink?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:You couldnt tell that there was alcohol in it? Do you and your husband usually have alcohol smoothies for breakfast?

Strange story.

OP here. I thought something tasted a bit weird so I asked DH what was in it. He replied with bananas, oranges, pineapple. That's it. I took a few sips but let DD have the majority of it.

Apparently DH adds alcohol to drinks without me knowing.

That should set your klaxons off. Who the fuck does this?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:What kind of alcohol was this? and how didnt you taste it?

If my DH poured some vodka into my morning smoothie it would take about 2 seconds for me to be like, "WHY THE F**K IS THERE VODKA IN THE SMOOTHIE YOU FREAK"

I'm voting strange troll.

It was Frangelico. And he said he only put 2 spoons in the whole amount (his portion and my portion). I'm still trying to process the fact that he said he was within his rights to do this. Wtf? Why wouldn't he just tell me??? I wish I were a troll. Believe me.

Even though this is very unusual I can kind of see how it would happen...your husband adds a tiny amount of alcohol for "flavoring." Toddler picks up smoothie and he doesn't say anything about the alcohol until a day later when he sees she is alright.

Doesn't excuse his behavior. You have a right to know what is going into your body, ESPECIALLY when you ask about it outright. And trying to justify letting a small child consume alcohol (in any amount) is just crazy and irrational.

[Anonymous]

I was right there with the outrage, until I read the amounts we are talking about.

Two teaspoons? tablespoons? of Frangelico flavoring a breakfast glass sized smoothie? This is not an amount I think is all that bad.... for a grownup.

I think he should have told you there was a smidge of frangelico in the smoothie though, before letting a small child drink it.

[Anonymous]

Doesn't frangelica have about the same alcohol content as vanilla?

[Anonymous]

Sorry - I wonder if the "two spoonfuls" is a bit of backtracking.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I was right there with the outrage, until I read the amounts we are talking about.

Two teaspoons? tablespoons? of Frangelico flavoring a breakfast glass sized smoothie? This is not an amount I think is all that bad.... for a grownup.

I think he should have told you there was a smidge of frangelico in the smoothie though, before letting a small child drink it.

Agreed that this small amount of alcohol isn't a health concern, but her DH's reaction seems indicative of a lot of larger problems. His responses to her concerns sound verbally abusive, and I think seeking some counciling might still be a smart move.

[Anonymous]

Here's how I picture this scenario:

Mike makes a smoothie for himself and Karen. Tells Karen it is for her. Karen shares with child. (Is Mike in the room at this point? Or in another area? Split level kitchen-dining area?) Mike thinks he can either yell at Karen that she wasn't supposed to give it to child or says nothing because it is too late now that child has ingested the Frangelico. Mike crosses fingers and hopes for no reaction in the child.

A) How often does Mike make smoothies? Does he usually add ingredients? Does he usually tell Karen the ingredients? Was today a surprise moment of Mike's to make these?,
B) Did Karen ask why Mike said it was only her smoothie? Did Karen ask why one was not made for child?
C) If Mike told Karen after the child drank it, that there was Frangelico, what would Karen have done? Poison control? ER? pediatrician?

[Anonymous]

What an odd story.

OP, you can't tell the taste of Frangelico in your drink? Really? And you let him bring sleep training and some old wine country tour into a conversation about him lying about putting alcohol in your morning smoothie?

That said, you also weren't very candid with us in your first post. You said alcohol, making us all think a shot or more. Now you are saying maybe a few teaspoons split between two smoothies.

It is inconsistencies like this that make you sound like a troll.

[Anonymous]

Frangelico in a fruit smoothie? Yuck. At breakfast time? Double yuck. I think it is extremely odd that he would spike your drink without telling you.

If this whole situation is true exactly as you have stated it, I think I would be most concerned about your husband's reaction to you. He wouldn't be the first attorney who is a closet alchoholic.

[Anonymous]

What does Frangelico taste like anyway?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:What an odd story.

OP, you can't tell the taste of Frangelico in your drink? Really? And you let him bring sleep training and some old wine country tour into a conversation about him lying about putting alcohol in your morning smoothie?

That said, you also weren't very candid with us in your first post. You said alcohol, making us all think a shot or more. Now you are saying maybe a few teaspoons split between two smoothies.

It is inconsistencies like this that make you sound like a troll.

OP here. No, I couldn't tell that there was Frangelico in the drink. I sometimes get a weird reaction when I eat pineapple so when I sipped it and thought it tasted weird, I thought it was because I was reacting to the pineapple. I had just asked DH what was in the drink.

When I started this thread, DH had just told me what he did and then left for errands. I didn't know how much alcohol he put in the drinks but I clarified that when I talked to him when he returned. I don't believe it was just 2 spoonfuls - I think he's covering a bit, knowing I'm livid.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Here's how I picture this scenario:

Mike makes a smoothie for himself and Karen. Tells Karen it is for her. Karen shares with child. (Is Mike in the room at this point? Or in another area? Split level kitchen-dining area?) Mike thinks he can either yell at Karen that she wasn't supposed to give it to child or says nothing because it is too late now that child has ingested the Frangelico. Mike crosses fingers and hopes for no reaction in the child.

A) How often does Mike make smoothies? Does he usually add ingredients? Does he usually tell Karen the ingredients? Was today a surprise moment of Mike's to make these?,
B) Did Karen ask why Mike said it was only her smoothie? Did Karen ask why one was not made for child?
C) If Mike told Karen after the child drank it, that there was Frangelico, what would Karen have done? Poison control? ER? pediatrician?

OP here. DH was in the kitchen when I gave DD the drink. Literally 3 feet away.

A) he makes smoothies often, about 4 times a week. About 90% of the time, I cut up all the fruit and he blends it up. So I usually know the ingredients myself.
B) he didn't say it was only mine. He kept seeing DD take more sips and mentioned to her that she shouldn't have it, that it was momma's. DD just had a bowl full of fruit so I figured he didn't make her a smoothie because she already had so much fruit.
C) I would have called the pediatrician. I would have monitored her more closely.

[Anonymous]

I think there's a solid possibility your husband is regularly slipping booze into his 4x/wk smoothies and didn't want anybody to know about it. I'm serious: I would get in touch with AlAnon and learn about other warning signs that he might have a drinking problem.

It shows shockingly bad judgment to give anyone alcohol without their permission/knowledge, let alone your breastfeeding wife, LET ALONE your toddler daughter. You have every right to be upset, and I hope you don't let this drop. Something is wrong here.

[Anonymous]

A sip, no big deal. 1/4 the drink....very dangerous!

[Anonymous]

NP. I don't have any intimate knowledge or experience with alcoholism, so perhaps other posters can shed some light. . .

If someone were a closet alcoholic, would he actually spike his spouse's drink? I would think that someone hiding alcoholism would make two smoothies, then surreptitiously spike his OWN drink. Not saying that there are other points of concern in this story, but closet alcoholism doesn't seem that logical to me.

I can kind of see the scenario 16:41 describes, especially combined with the cluelessness of many (even good) fathers on something like this. And the reaction of your DH seems like a man backed into a corner and on the defensive-- as easily about something stupid as about something more serious. (I know my DH gets far more defensive over the dumb stuff than the meaningful stuff. Not his finest behavior, but he otherwise has so many great qualities as a father and husband. He's just really, really uncomfortable when pointedly confronted with doing something stupid.)