Is Sidwell "joyless"?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I get "academic pressure." But wth does "social pressure" mean?

Trying to fit in with rich kids, or kids of the powerful. Not being able to afford the designer clothes that everybody else is wearing. Of course, it depends on your family's own income level.

Do you have a kid at Sidwell? I do, and while I know there are some kids who would describe the social scene this way, most would not. My DS, who absolutely fits in socially, went off to school today in a t-shirt and jeans from JC Penny (ok, his sweatshirt is UnderArmor).

I actually think that one of the strengths of Sidwell is that, while some parents may be hyper-aware of who other parents are, the kids really don't pay attention.

I don't have a kid at Sidwell, but DC's best friend (who is very rich) goes there and we hear the stories. I agree the dress code is basically sloppy. But it's more than clothing - we've heard stories about parties and family vacations. I don't think you want me to repeat some of them, seriously, because they would identify particular groups of kids, even mentioning the reason for some of the parties would identify kids.

[Anonymous]

I don't have a kid at Sidwell, but DC's best friend (who is very rich) goes there and we hear the stories. I agree the dress code is basically sloppy. But it's more than clothing - we've heard stories about parties and family vacations. I don't think you want me to repeat some of them, seriously, because they would identify particular groups of kids, even mentioning the reason for some of the parties would identify kids. ''

``I don't have a kid at Sidwell.'' But I know these things
the kids are sloppy dressers. And they go on family vacations and parties because my kid tells me they do these things.
I

[Anonymous]

Oh no! Not family vacations!

[Anonymous]

I hear Sidwell families own cars too!

[Anonymous]

So nobody is qualified to talk about Sidwell unless they have a kid there? You guys really are that snotty and exclusive?

The PP said she didn't want to out certain kids or families. You are incredibly hypocritical to criticize her for that.

Yes, lots of us have friends with kids at Sidwell, they tell us stories, and we trust our friends that the stories aren't made up. Do you really want me to start naming kids?

[Anonymous]

If you don't have a kid there pp why in the world would you care?

[Anonymous]

Why would you even threaten to name kids on this forum? And I'm confused are you the OP or are you commenting on OP? Or maybe you just have a split personality?

[Anonymous]

Oh for heaven's sake. I too don't have a kid at Sidwell, but I've got friends who went there and many of my friends' kids go there. It's a school people; just a school. There are happy kids, depressed kids, rich kids, not so rich kids, etc. Stop obsessing. And enough of the criticism of the sports teams; I daresay most of the people who chose Sidwell for their children didn't do so for the sports and don't care whether the football team wins or not. Geeez.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Still no info from Sidwell parents re 4th grade. Real problems or not?

Sidwell parent here...there is one fourth grade class that is extremely rigid and not right for every kid. Some kids thrive there but others have been miserable. I suspect that is why a previous poster referenced that class as being "joyless." The two other fourth grade classes are great.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:So nobody is qualified to talk about Sidwell unless they have a kid there? You guys really are that snotty and exclusive?

The PP said she didn't want to out certain kids or families. You are incredibly hypocritical to criticize her for that.

Yes, lots of us have friends with kids at Sidwell, they tell us stories, and we trust our friends that the stories aren't made up. Do you really want me to start naming kids?

I'm the PP who asked the question, not because I'm being snotty and exclusive, but because her impression is so at odds with what I hear from my own child. My impression is that the only people obsessing about who has money or whose parents are well-known are other parents (or, even more, parents whose kids don't go there); it's not really an issue for the kids. So my follow-up would be, in what way does that poster's child's friends feel "social pressure", as opposed to just being amused by a big party, or happy for a friend that s/he had a really cool vacation.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Why would you even threaten to name kids on this forum? And I'm confused are you the OP or are you commenting on OP? Or maybe you just have a split personality?

I'm not the OP. I was just pointing out the hypocrisy of Sidwell parents who ridicule people who make general statements based on good sources, because the implication is that to be taken seriously, a poster has to name names. I'm certainly not threatening to name names myself, although I could.

[Anonymous]

I'm not the OP. I was just pointing out the hypocrisy of Sidwell parents who ridicule people who make general statements based on good sources, because the implication is that to be taken seriously, a poster has to name names. I'm certainly not threatening to name names myself, although I could.

What part of this is not a threat?

``Do you really want me to start naming kids?''

[Anonymous]

I'm a parent at Sidwell and firmly believe this is a free country and you are entitled to raise any issue you want about the vacations Sidwell families take. But...
a) Why do you care?
b) Why do you care?
c) Why do you care?

[Anonymous]

Watch out or I am going to start naming names of Sidwell families that take vacations!

[Anonymous]

OP here -- I really just wanted to get some information from Sidwell parents on the overall feel of the school because we are an out-of-town family considering applying our children there for next year -- our children who, by the way, are neither dumb NOR too serious to have fun, but thanks for the accusations and assumptions. I hardly frequent this board, but given what has transpired from a seemingly innocuous question directed at a discrete group, it's really making me think public school might be for us. Is the open rudeness and name-calling typical among private school parents, is it the anonymous nature of this board that makes people feel comfortable enough to do so? Wow. Reading this whole exchange has been a real eye-opener for me. It's really quite sad.