Child therapist that can help ME support child against my spouse

[Anonymous]

OP no therapist on this planet is going to "teach" any kid to stand up to abuse and gaslighting.

They are going to report you both, you and your DH to child services instead. And that's probably the best outcome.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:OP no therapist on this planet is going to "teach" any kid to stand up to abuse and gaslighting.

They are going to report you both, you and your DH to child services instead. And that's probably the best outcome.

This. And when your kid mentions this at school, the same will happen—so don’t think you can stick your head in the sand and it will work out fine. You’re holding a bad hand, but you have to play it.

[Anonymous]

OP, have you received support for how you interact with your spouse? I get your desire to help your child stand up for himself, but he is so young. It seems like a lot to put on a 4 year old to expect him stand up to parental abuse.

I think he will pick up on what you are doing. So it's great you are validating his feelings, but it sounds like you are not being very direct with your spouse about his bad behavior - and I know there is a reason for this, but I think that would be the main thing to discuss with the therapist.

My DH does not engage in gaslighting but he does have a tendency to yell too much and it does make a difference to make it clear to DH that something is unacceptable. When I saw him being rough with DC once out of frustration, I ran in between them and said "Don't you ever touch her like that again". It really made him think and he did change his behavior. Not saying that's what you should do, you obviously know your situation best, but I think you should discuss with the therapist the balance between not setting your DH off vs not indirectly approving of his behavior by not being clear enough that you don't approve or support it.