Help me love my ill spouse

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Therapy for him, therapy for you, and couples therapy

It all boils down to this. And DH learning to look beyond his depression and health.

Caregiving is really, really hard and between your husband and your kids you are doing a LOT of it. Get the support you need, OP. You deserve it.

[Anonymous]

Find yourself a side piece and get some sex there. That will make you less resentful.

[Anonymous]

Love is a choice.

[Anonymous]

I mean, is HE doing anything to help himself? It sounds to me like you are carrying more of the burden of his illness than he is. When is the last time anyone was honest with him about the fact that regardless of why he is ill, he still has to try.

[Anonymous]

I’m sorry, OP.

I’m in the same boat. Spouse is debilitated and it happened rather suddenly. It’s a serious inflammatory condition that might have happened due to a COVID infection.

It took a long time to get the first treatment and that hasn’t worked.

Spouse is in pain, up several times a night, and can barely move. Only when they are on strong drugs can they get pain-free movement back but those drugs can’t be used long term, unfortunately.

They went from nothing wrong to three different areas of their body becoming nearly unusable.

I’m also caregiving for an elderly parent and it never occurred to me Id finally be clear of child raising and then become caregiver to a spouse while also caregiving for a parent as my own health problems began to bloom.

I’m eating so so well and gardening and starting therapy soon. I’m going to work on improving sleep next.

[Anonymous]

It’s always interesting to read posts by people who have just had this experience start—and are surprised and angry about it in a way that hasn’t been accessible to me in about 15 years. Thanks, all.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Love is a choice.

+100
An active, daily choice for some of us.

[Anonymous]

I would probably end up staying married but have a FWB.