Pay for daughter and her boyfriend?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I don't know...when I was invited to my now wife's parents for the first time, I paid for everyone when we went out to dinner.

Isn't that what a good houseguest does?

I guess the assumption is these are poor grad students? Not sure that makes it any better in my mind.

If you and your dating partner can't afford to pay for everyone, you just shouldn't visit the parents? I guess that's one approach.

[Anonymous]

Be a generous host and assume you'll pay for everything, but if he offers, let him contribute, but preferably steer him toward something affordable like coffee since he's also a grad student.

[Anonymous]

People are horrible. I had my first boyfriend late 20s, just because of general self confidence issues that I eventually worked out myself. Typical stuff. Married to someone else now and happy life. C’mon. As if there isn’t already enough to worry about and criticize in the world.

And always pay. Please just default on the side of generosity. Vacations, big expenses are more complicated. Dinners aren’t.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I don't know...when I was invited to my now wife's parents for the first time, I paid for everyone when we went out to dinner.

Isn't that what a good houseguest does?

I guess the assumption is these are poor grad students? Not sure that makes it any better in my mind.

If you and your dating partner can't afford to pay for everyone, you just shouldn't visit the parents? I guess that's one approach.

Maybe expect to do your own thing and just be together for museum visits or other casual family outings.

I’m confused…are you disagreeing that a good houseguest shouldn’t be a total mooch? Do you only visit your parents if free dinners out are part of the deal?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I don't know...when I was invited to my now wife's parents for the first time, I paid for everyone when we went out to dinner.

Isn't that what a good houseguest does?

I guess the assumption is these are poor grad students? Not sure that makes it any better in my mind.

If you and your dating partner can't afford to pay for everyone, you just shouldn't visit the parents? I guess that's one approach.

Maybe expect to do your own thing and just be together for museum visits or other casual family outings.

I’m confused…are you disagreeing that a good houseguest shouldn’t be a total mooch? Do you only visit your parents if free dinners out are part of the deal?

Hey, this wasn't my problem But after this thread, I certainly intend to make it clear to the young people who visit that I invited them for their company, regardless of what their finances may be.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I don't know...when I was invited to my now wife's parents for the first time, I paid for everyone when we went out to dinner.

Isn't that what a good houseguest does?

I guess the assumption is these are poor grad students? Not sure that makes it any better in my mind.

If you and your dating partner can't afford to pay for everyone, you just shouldn't visit the parents? I guess that's one approach.

Maybe expect to do your own thing and just be together for museum visits or other casual family outings.

I’m confused…are you disagreeing that a good houseguest shouldn’t be a total mooch? Do you only visit your parents if free dinners out are part of the deal?

Hey, this wasn't my problem But after this thread, I certainly intend to make it clear to the young people who visit that I invited them for their company, regardless of what their finances may be.

Agree…which can include either grilling burgers at home or treating them to Inn at Little Washington whichever one prefers.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

People are horrible. I had my first boyfriend late 20s, just because of general self confidence issues that I eventually worked out myself. Typical stuff. Married to someone else now and happy life. C’mon. As if there isn’t already enough to worry about and criticize in the world.

And always pay. Please just default on the side of generosity. Vacations, big expenses are more complicated. Dinners aren’t.

So you had issues.

[Anonymous]

the guy should work...

[Anonymous]

back in the day we used to work, didn't spend time on AIM all day, our parents make us work.