Raised Catholic and unsure if/how to pass those traditions to my kids

[Anonymous]

You can always try a more inclusive community that values rituals like the Angelicans

[Anonymous]

I disagree with a lot of the Church’s actions, but it is really important to me. I found a parish home that focuses way more on social justice and community, I find this is much more relevant to the Gospel than anything else.

[Anonymous]

The Catholic church does a lot of good. Why do people always focus only on the bad things that have happened in the church? There are no institutions that have not had bad things happen within the institution. Schools are experiencing a huge crisis with female teachers sexually abusing their students, but I don’t see people here saying they are taking their kids out of public schools because of sexual abuse within the schools. The federal government has basically turned their back on the huge and constant sexual abuse problems within the military. Every institution has problems like that. Children are more likely to be sexually abused by a family member than a priest or teacher.

Every thread here involving the Catholic church focuses exclusively on the problems of the church. I don’t think the church has handled the issue of sexual abuse well at all. They really messed up. They definitely hid the problem and refused to deal with it in a timely and open, honest manner. But there are also many, many positive things the church has done and continues to do.

If you are going to withdraw yourself and your kids from the Catholic church because of sexual abuse, are you going to withdraw yourself and your kids from every other institution in America and be consistent because every institution has the same problems and same issues with confronting the issues as the Catholic church did/does. -not a Catholic

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:My background is the same, op, and my kids are now older teens and above. I don’t know that I handled it well, basically they knew that I had been raised catholic but that’s it, really. We took them on and off to a mainline protestant church when they were younger.

One of my teens said something recently (after a trip to a catholic college) that made me realize fully realize how much they didn’t “get” Catholicism (which is of course makes sense since I left the church and didn’t raise them in it) but it still made me sad.

What did your child say?

Hard to explain but basically it was clear that they didn’t differentiate Catholics from baptists, lutherans, or Presbyterians, etc.

Not in terms of not knowing historical background but just emotionally these were all equivalent to the teen and in the category “religions other than mine.” As I said, hard to explain but sort of painful.

What is the purpose of being a Christian? Why should your teen regard Catholicism as different? What aspects are you sad about? Are you pained about your teen not recognizing the aspects that Luther sought to strip away?

I tend to see different denominations as different flavors of the same thing, not completely different movements like Christianity compared to Hinduism.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:My background is the same, op, and my kids are now older teens and above. I don’t know that I handled it well, basically they knew that I had been raised catholic but that’s it, really. We took them on and off to a mainline protestant church when they were younger.

One of my teens said something recently (after a trip to a catholic college) that made me realize fully realize how much they didn’t “get” Catholicism (which is of course makes sense since I left the church and didn’t raise them in it) but it still made me sad.

What did your child say?

Hard to explain but basically it was clear that they didn’t differentiate Catholics from baptists, lutherans, or Presbyterians, etc.

Not in terms of not knowing historical background but just emotionally these were all equivalent to the teen and in the category “religions other than mine.” As I said, hard to explain but sort of painful.

What is the purpose of being a Christian? Why should your teen regard Catholicism as different? What aspects are you sad about? Are you pained about your teen not recognizing the aspects that Luther sought to strip away?

I tend to see different denominations as different flavors of the same thing, not completely different movements like Christianity compared to Hinduism.

PP are you Catholic? I suspect not. Yes both Catholics and Protestants are Christian, but they are very different religions in many ways, especially culturally.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I was raised Roman Catholic and am struggling with if/how I want to raise my future children when it comes to the church. I left the church halfway through college and my siblings and parents have all left as well. My parents (who went to catholic school with nuns as teachers, made us go to CCD, midnight mass, Easter vigil, give things up for Lent, etc.) are now very vocally critical of the church. I share all their concerns...but I still feel this nostalgia for the whole thing. I don't know how else to explain it.

It makes me sad to imagine my future kids not being baptized, lighting Advent candles, going to fish fries during Lent, having first holy communions. Being Catholic was just such a big part of my family culture and was for generations. It feels weird to just stop that. The only family traditions that my family of origin has are all related to Catholicism in some way. Without those things I feel like I won't have any traditions that tie me and my children to our ancestors.

I do go to mass by myself very occasionally just to feel close to my deceased grandparents who were devout. I always leave feeling very melancholy, like I'm an interloper who shouldn't be there and is disrespecting people who are there for the "right" reasons. I don't know if that would get better or worse if I brought my kids. My actual faith is probably best described as agnostic but with a love of rituals?

Does anyone have any advice? Similar experience?
Please know that I mean no disrespect to any practicing Catholics. I'm posting with genuine sadness and conflict in my heart.

You're either all in or you're not. Calling yourself agnostic in something you wrote and could edit before posting is not a slip of the tongue. Sorry, it doesn't get more 'out' than that. Girl, bye.

That is a terrible thing to write and absolutely not a Catholic value. The Catholic Church has room and encourages seekers who are trying to figure it out. How are people supposed to figure it out if they aren't welcome to experience God working through an entire community. I feel God's presence differently depending where I am and who I am with (praying alone before sleep vs at a full Mass) but both are meaningful and worthwhile. I urge the OP to continue attending Mass at different parishes until she finds one that feels right. Next, join the parish, volunteer or get involved in an activity- knowing others really deepens the connection bc you are receiving God in communion with others. There is a reason you are feeling called, don't shut that down. God bless you on this journey.

[Anonymous]

I’m Catholic and have left (and come back to) the church many times. I believe a spiritual (in my case Christian - it’s what I know) life is important. We had our kids attend Sunday school and get confirmed so they have some personal experience and knowledge of a religious life. They now have a religious “base” if they so choose. My spouse and I let them know that they are welcome to choose whatever religious life they would like, if any, in their adult lives. We feel we prepared them to at least be able to make informed decisions about their own religious choices in their adult lives

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:My background is the same, op, and my kids are now older teens and above. I don’t know that I handled it well, basically they knew that I had been raised catholic but that’s it, really. We took them on and off to a mainline protestant church when they were younger.

One of my teens said something recently (after a trip to a catholic college) that made me realize fully realize how much they didn’t “get” Catholicism (which is of course makes sense since I left the church and didn’t raise them in it) but it still made me sad.

What did your child say?

Hard to explain but basically it was clear that they didn’t differentiate Catholics from baptists, lutherans, or Presbyterians, etc.

Not in terms of not knowing historical background but just emotionally these were all equivalent to the teen and in the category “religions other than mine.” As I said, hard to explain but sort of painful.

What is the purpose of being a Christian? Why should your teen regard Catholicism as different? What aspects are you sad about? Are you pained about your teen not recognizing the aspects that Luther sought to strip away?

I tend to see different denominations as different flavors of the same thing, not completely different movements like Christianity compared to Hinduism.

PP are you Catholic? I suspect not. Yes both Catholics and Protestants are Christian, but they are very different religions in many ways, especially culturally.

Like what, apostolic succession and praying the rosary? I’ve been both Catholic and Protestant. And while generally speaking I tend to prefer Catholicism, they are not all that different in core beliefs. In terms of rituals there is more variation between Protestants (Pentecostals vs Anglicans) than Catholics and Anglicans.

Very odd to feel triggered that your kid who you didn’t raise as a Christian categorizes the Christian sub-groups as Christian.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I hear what you are saying OP, but Catholicism is not a pick and choose religion. You're either all in or you're not and if you're not, I suggest trying one of the other Christian religions. And for the person calling us "right wing nutters", we (the right wing nutters) are adhering to the catechism of the Catholic church and fully engaged in all of the sacraments, including confession. Remember, Jesus dined with sinners, but he also told them to "turn away from sin and return to the Gospel".

Catholicism actually is very much “pick and choose” because that is what actual Catholics do. OP can go to church, take communion, and get her kids the sacraments. The Church does not kick people out for skipping mass or sinning.

Indeed, the religion is premised on the truth that everybody sins.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I hear what you are saying OP, but Catholicism is not a pick and choose religion. You're either all in or you're not and if you're not, I suggest trying one of the other Christian religions. And for the person calling us "right wing nutters", we (the right wing nutters) are adhering to the catechism of the Catholic church and fully engaged in all of the sacraments, including confession. Remember, Jesus dined with sinners, but he also told them to "turn away from sin and return to the Gospel".

No you are RW nutters who want to push your agenda on the rest of us.

OP either you want to support the Catholic doctrine ie Church's stance on everything, or not. There is no in-between.

As of right now it is a free country and you can do as you wish.

Not sure why you want to raise you children in something that automatically says they were born in sin. But hey you do you like I said free country.

NP—but if this is a genuine question, I’m happy to answer that:
It’s because God is real, the truth is important, and I care about my children’s salvation enough to point them to grace through Jesus Christ—who said “I am the Way, the Truth, and the Life. No one comes to the Father except through me.”

This is an argument for Protestantism.

Exactly!

Catholics are all about the pomp and circumstance and all their rules.

They block a person's direct path to Jesus.

[Anonymous]

Set them free and never look back.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Set them free and never look back.

How many hours per week do you spend being free from religion, but thinking about religion, discussing religion? You are still enmeshed in religion. Freedom isn’t hatred or obsession, it’s indifference. You are consumed by religion.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:The Catholic church does a lot of good. Why do people always focus only on the bad things that have happened in the church? There are no institutions that have not had bad things happen within the institution. Schools are experiencing a huge crisis with female teachers sexually abusing their students, but I don’t see people here saying they are taking their kids out of public schools because of sexual abuse within the schools. The federal government has basically turned their back on the huge and constant sexual abuse problems within the military. Every institution has problems like that. Children are more likely to be sexually abused by a family member than a priest or teacher.

Every thread here involving the Catholic church focuses exclusively on the problems of the church. I don’t think the church has handled the issue of sexual abuse well at all. They really messed up. They definitely hid the problem and refused to deal with it in a timely and open, honest manner. But there are also many, many positive things the church has done and continues to do.

If you are going to withdraw yourself and your kids from the Catholic church because of sexual abuse, are you going to withdraw yourself and your kids from every other institution in America and be consistent because every institution has the same problems and same issues with confronting the issues as the Catholic church did/does. -not a Catholic

The Catholic church is the only church suing to protect Pedophiles.

And your post is utter BS.

Most Pediofiles are church members, ie Priests, Pastors, Ministers, pick up a dad newspaper weekly in this country add police officers and religious privates to this list.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:The Catholic church does a lot of good. Why do people always focus only on the bad things that have happened in the church? There are no institutions that have not had bad things happen within the institution. Schools are experiencing a huge crisis with female teachers sexually abusing their students, but I don’t see people here saying they are taking their kids out of public schools because of sexual abuse within the schools. The federal government has basically turned their back on the huge and constant sexual abuse problems within the military. Every institution has problems like that. Children are more likely to be sexually abused by a family member than a priest or teacher.

Every thread here involving the Catholic church focuses exclusively on the problems of the church. I don’t think the church has handled the issue of sexual abuse well at all. They really messed up. They definitely hid the problem and refused to deal with it in a timely and open, honest manner. But there are also many, many positive things the church has done and continues to do.

If you are going to withdraw yourself and your kids from the Catholic church because of sexual abuse, are you going to withdraw yourself and your kids from every other institution in America and be consistent because every institution has the same problems and same issues with confronting the issues as the Catholic church did/does. -not a Catholic

The Catholic church is the only church suing to protect Pedophiles.

And your post is utter BS.

Most Pediofiles are church members, ie Priests, Pastors, Ministers, pick up a dad newspaper weekly in this country add police officers and religious privates to this list.

An epidemic of sexual abuse in schools
Shoddy investigations, quiet resignations, and a culture of secrecy have protected predators, not students.

A Business Insider investigation puts a spotlight on an epidemic of sexual abuse in high schools.
Thousands of documents show how predator teachers are repeatedly protected instead of students.
And there's little oversight on how school districts deal with offenders, my colleague reports.

https://www.businessinsider.com/teachers-predators-sexual-abuse-high-school-reporting-data-2023-12?amp

Do actual research yourself.

[Anonymous]

someone wrote: "Not sure why you want to raise you children in something that automatically says they were born in sin."

I'll answer this as an atheist Like Dawkins' says, we are selfish little multicellular creatures who always look out for #1 first, the same as all life on earth. It's about survival...and then if we get time, procreation.

ANd if you believe there is a such a thing as evil, as you almost have to in order to survive, you have to look at that lion about to eat you as evil. Then selfishness is the root of all evil, cuz isn't that lion being selfish to eat me. He's just trying to survive too. So yes, original sin is simply the fact that we are born selfish life forms, and we spend the rest of our lives trying to teach our kids not be selfish...they got to share, they got to be nice, c'mon you dirty rug rat, it's called empathy and I'll force you to learn it etc.