Touchy teacher … okay or creepy?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Elementary teacher here. Kids hug me allll the time and I hug the back, usually with just one arm, and I don’t bend down to their level. I would only rub their back if they were very very upset.


I don’t think middle and high school teachers should rub anyone’s back.

For a female teacher, it’s fine.

But a male teacher? Definitely NOT OK !!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I teach elementary and hug my kids all the time. I can’t even help it, they are so sweet and snuggly. But I’m a woman and have three children myself, so that might make a difference.

MS Male teacher here. I’ve been beat hugged by a male student only a couple times…made me feel warm and fuzzy because many don’t have positive male role model. Most prefer creating a handshake or fist bump. Girls will occasionally approach for hug, but even they understand what’s appropriate. Side hugs only. We even had a PD on this lol…

[Anonymous]

:shock: :shock: :shock: :shock: :shock: :shock:

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP here. Thanks for the input.

Is the touching my arm weird, or just the rubbing my kid’s back? I’m working on a draft for a letter to the principal. I don’t want my past abuse clouding my vision. I want a clear, factual letter.

I would tell the principal exactly what you wrote here. The teacher shouldn’t be touching students OR parents. It’s inappropriate in both cases.

I would leave the arm squeeze out. Really not a big idea. Annoying but not a big deal. Focus on the child in the classroom who can’t get away. Start with the teacher not the principal.

[Anonymous]

If ANYTHING is “creepy” - you need
to be concerned.

It’s that simple. Tell your children this.

[Anonymous]

A teacher at oyster adams did this and plenty of kids, girls and boys, complained. This was in the 5th grade. Hes still at the school, though has been accused by one students family of worse offenses. They have a restraining order against him, but he’s still allowed to teach. My daughter is one who reported him for shoulder and back rubbing/squuezing, standing over them too close, or behind them when at the fountain, or checking their work. Cultural differences were blamed, but it seems to have gone beyond that. I’m proud of my daughter for complaining.

[Anonymous]

Jeez, take a chill pill.

Has your daughter told the teacher “Please don’t touch me, it makes me feel uncomfortable”? Have you said it to him?

First step is to set boundaries. Don’t go behind his back and complain because you’re too much of a chicken to talk to him directly.

[Anonymous]

My senior year of high school I was the editor of my literary magazine and working late on it and really upset /overwhelmed. My (male) English teacher / advisor on the magazine patted my knee while consoling me. I remember thinking that was an odd / inappropriate choice, but I also was graduating a few days later and never saw him again. I actually think he was trying to be kind and maybe got flustered in the moment.

[Anonymous]

You need to alert the admin immediately. There is something wrong here.

[Anonymous]

WOAH. I'm all for protection and being wary of creeps but you are jumping to serious conclusions and letting your past cloud your vision. Is this teacher from a culture where touching and using your hands more is more prominent? My Italian side can't finish a sentence without making a physical connection. Seems like you are jumping quickly and getting worked up so tread carefully.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Elementary teacher here. Kids hug me allll the time and I hug the back, usually with just one arm, and I don’t bend down to their level. I would only rub their back if they were very very upset.


I don’t think middle and high school teachers should rub anyone’s back.

For a female teacher, it’s fine.

But a male teacher? Definitely NOT OK !!

+1

[Anonymous]

I don't feel it's a problem in general, but I'm not American. I come from a much more touchy-feely culture. One of DD's teachers has hugged her, he's from Latin America. I was right there. It didn't feel creepy to either of us.

I think you need to go with your gut on this one, OP. We weren't there, and it's hard to describe a vibe. But I just want to support your feelings. Sometimes that's all a parent has to go on.