My wife attempted suicide last night

[Anonymous]

Everybody wants me to be strong for her and to be there for her and I'm so fucking scared. I'm scared for her, for me, for my 9yo son who saw her taken away by ambulance last night. 700 pills in 15 minutes. She wasn't expected to make it thru the night but she did. And I'm so, so grateful. I love her more than she can possibly ever know. I want to protect her from everyone, especially herself. So why am I so angry with her?

[Anonymous]

I'm so sorry, OP.

[Anonymous]

I'm sorry OP! Don't beat yourself up for however you are feeling right now- it's normal.

[Anonymous]

So sorry. I hope you and your son have some support through this, and are able to get your wife some help too.

I would suspect it's normal to feel angry. Anger is a secondary emotion though - we deal with something bigger through anger. You probably could use someone to help you navigate your emotions, for your own sake and for your family's sake. This is tough stuff.

I'll be keeping you and your family in my thoughts for strength and healing.

[Anonymous]

OP, it's totally normal to feel anger towards her. In the upcoming days, weeks, and months most attention will be geared towards her and finding her the right meds, treatment, etc. But you need support to so please, please speak to the social worker or case manager in charge of your wife at the hospital. They will have resources for you to get the help you need. And it's ok! It's a lot on the other parent to have to pick up the pieces after a suicide attempt.

I wish you and your family the best of luck. Please get some support for yourself (and your son!)

[Anonymous]

Wishing you, your son, and your wife all the best.

(The anger is normal, grief, anguish, sadness, too.)

[Anonymous]

Sending good thoughts and prayers for you and family and for her Drs to provide the treatment that she needs.

[Anonymous]

I'm so very sorry, OP. I lost my father and 2 brothers to suicide. It's so very tough. One thing a counselor told me that I cling to is that where there's life, there's hope. As worried as you are about your wife, please make your own health (physical and mental) your priority. You need to secure your own oxygen mask before assisting others. You should consider finding a good counselor for yourself. You have a lot of emotions flitting through your head (all of them valid and understandable). You need someone to provide some objectivity and guidance to help you sort through them. The counselor can also help you discuss with your DS what's going on. YOu should also contact the school guidance counselor and teachers so they can help your DS. They've been an awesome resource for us. I'm really sorry you're going through this. Hugs.

[Anonymous]

I'm sorry, OP.

Anger is expected. She tried to take someone you love away from you, away from your son. Your son saw her leave in an ambulance, and it was self inflicted.

Please get yourself and your son the support that will be needed to get through this.

Sending you and your family wishes for the best.

[Anonymous]

So sorry. The anger is normal. Please take care if yourself, too.

[Anonymous]

I have family member who has attempted suicide 5 times.

BPD. If that is your wife's diagnosis, then look at Gunderson at Mclean hospital.

I would steer clear of social workers, they are very spotty about diagnosis and care (some are great but lots have just dealt with drug addicts and the like which i suspect are a different issue than you are dealing with).

Find a highly trained, experienced therapist, maybe one who works with the psychiatrist closely. They can help coordinate to find the right medication if dealing with bipolar or major depression.

I definitely appreciate your anger. Her solution was to leave the pain and mess of life to you and her child. I don't know her underlying issue, but you need to be sure you enforce boundaries and look out for the welfare of your child and your self. She has already chosen to look out for herself first (by trying to escape her pain rather than face it head on); hopefully she will work with you to come back and do the necessary work. But don't be afraid to set distance if you think she is not making good faith efforts or is harming you or your child.

[Anonymous]

I'm so sorry. Anger is completely normal, as is every other ugly emotion you may feel in the days and weeks and months to come. Your wife and son will need your strength, but you will need someone else's strength to lean on as well. Please find a trusted friend, family member or counselor you can rely on for support, you shouldn't go through this alone. Good luck to you!

[Anonymous]

I'm so sorry, OP. As someone who has contemplated this for many years, all I can say is: Please, just be there. It sounds so meaningless and cliche, I know, but she is in an unimaginable amount of pain right now - so much pain that she actually wanted to leave you and her little boy. And now having failed at taking her life she will be faced with what she has done, on top of everything she was already feeling.

Just be there for her. I'm so, so sorry.

[Anonymous]

My best friend of 20+ years has attempted suicide too many times. I felt useless because she didn't reach out. I felt angry that she would be willing to cause so much pain by taking herself away from everyone, including her children. There is also a big part of me that is just shaken to the core. I convince myself every single time that she's better, but mental illness isn't curable. After all of these, I feel incredible guilt for not being able to help her.

There are a lot of emotions, sometimes conflicting emotions are nagging you simultaneously. Just go through and feel them as you think it through. Find a therapist for you, and one for your son.

[Anonymous]

I'm so sorry, OP. I will thinking of your family.