Senior Associates/Partners at Law Firm Question

[Anonymous]

I work for a company and am considering going back to work for a firm. With billable hours, how do you juggle billing, rainmaking, putting out quality work and family life? In particular, how do you do it if you have small children and your husband works as well. Do you have a nanny? If so, what hours does the nanny work? Do you feel like you get to spend quality time with your children? Thanks!

[Anonymous]

I work for a medium sized firm in D.C. While we don't have the crazy billable hour requirements of the big firms, we still have them. I have a 15 month old, and went back to work in February of last year. Totally did not make my billables for last year, and received a very small bonus as a result. I understood and will do better (hopefully) this year. Part of it was my fault-I was just not in the zone, and spend more time goofing off than working. But, timewise, it can be difficult. With sick days, doctor's appointments, etc. We can't really afford a nanny, but have a daycare provider near our home. My husband takes our son in every morning, which helps. I am in the office every day by 7:45, but leave at 4:45 to pick up our son. I work some weekends, if needed. What I have been doing lately is accessing our work computer remotely from home, after our son has gone to sleep. But, that has been difficult because by the time we our done with our nighttime routine with our son, have eaten our own dinner, it's 8:30 or 9:00, and I just want to chill out before going to bed at 10:30. So, the bottom line is that transitioning is going to be difficult on your billable hours, and that necessarily your work time at the office is probably going to be shorter (unless your husband can do all the pick up and drop offs). So, I think to keep your billables up, you have to come up with alternatives such as working a couple on the weekends, or after your child has gone to sleep. All in all, pretty hard, but I am getting back in the groove after a year!

[Anonymous]

I was not able to do it. I lasted six months after the arrival of my first child. I used daycare and only stayed at the office from about 8:30 or 9:00 to 5:00 or 6:00. But then I had to work a lot at home. People would routinely get e-mail from me in the middle of the night when I had to get up with my DS. I found that I just hated it. In order not to miss out on time with my son, I walked around in more a sleep deprived daze than otherwise necessary. The best thing I did was leave private practice. And, I don't miss the salary at all - the cost was just too high.

I hope it works for you. I am only sharing because you sound like you haven't made the decision yet and I thought it might be helpful for you to hear from someone who couldn't make it work.

[Anonymous]

Our nanny works 8-6, and we have a babysitter who comes Monday through Thursday from 6 to 8:30. We see the kids for about 1-1.5 hours in the morning while we are getting ready and we switch off taking the older one to school. The market is slow now, so I do make bedtime story time about once a week (besides Friday). When the market picks up I will not be able to do this. When I am busy I often have to go to work on the weekends, and this does not count the emergencies that may crop up on vacation, on a holiday, etc. I know very few people who do this with 2 people working full time in private firms. You end up hoping that every single second you spend with your kids counts. My kids do know who their mother is, and I really do matter. When we get to the tween and teen years when somebody thoughtful who can talk about this week's mean girl stunt or the louse of a boyfriend who has broken a heart and is able to help with trig homework needs to be there, I am not sure what we will do. Most people I know have decided that one or the other parent will take a job hit (or they were already in a government job or something). We couldn't decide who it would be (I wanted to but I make more; he didn't really want to), so we never bowed out.

[Anonymous]

I left too (a big NYC firm), and took a government job. I thank my lucky stars for this job every day. I work part-time, 30 hours a week, and make half of what I would be making at the firm. (140 instead of 280 -- ouch!) But it was worth every penny, without a doubt. I just would not be able to work at a firm and find a suitable balance. That said, MANY of my friends have made it work. They all have nannies that have evening flexibility. I don't think daycare would work with firm life. You would have no flexibility to stay late.
My friends that are doing it all leave around 6 or so on most days, come home for dinner, and work more after kids are in bed. That means in addition to a nanny, you need a good housekeeper too, unless you are going to spend your weekends cleaning. It can work. I would say give it a try - you can always leave.

[Anonymous]

PP here -- I forgot to add-- my husband also left his Big NYC firm for a medium-sized Dc firm. he also took a cut -- maybe 15% -- but has a MUCH better quality of life. He makes bedtime about 3-4 nights a week (and works after from home) and no weekends other than rare emergencies. If you are going to go back, I would say avoid the big, big places. It makes a difference. Also, i expect he will make partner this year. At the NYC firm, it was more of a crap-shoot.

[Anonymous]

My good friend is at a firm and just had her 2nd child (1st is 2) and it only works bc she is officially "part-time" - I think 70-80%. Which means she officially works at 8-6 M-R and had Fridays off. In actuality, she is in the office 8-6 M-R and 1-2 Fridays a month and she works many weekends and often after the kids are asleep at home.

I do not envy her when I get home every day at 5:15 from my gov lawyer job - I do envy her when she worries much less about affording tuition and buying a home.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I left too (a big NYC firm), and took a government job. I thank my lucky stars for this job every day. I work part-time, 30 hours a week, and make half of what I would be making at the firm. (140 instead of 280 -- ouch!) But it was worth every penny, without a doubt. I just would not be able to work at a firm and find a suitable balance. That said, MANY of my friends have made it work. They all have nannies that have evening flexibility. I don't think daycare would work with firm life. You would have no flexibility to stay late.
My friends that are doing it all leave around 6 or so on most days, come home for dinner, and work more after kids are in bed. That means in addition to a nanny, you need a good housekeeper too, unless you are going to spend your weekends cleaning. It can work. I would say give it a try - you can always leave.

9:40 here. This PP is right. A nanny and a back up babysitter and a housekeeper and a dog walker and a yard service (unless you live in a house or condo with no yard) and Peapod for groceries. No joke. You contract out everything you possibly can. If Wholefoods would get a delivery service I would be in heaven.

That being said, the most delicious part of my weekend is Saturday mornings, when I sit in my bathrobe on the couch with the two kids snuggled up to me and read to them for two hours. Couldn't do that if I had to clean, rake the yard or go to the grocery.

[Anonymous]

Question for PP working 30 hours a week. How did you find this job. I can't seem to find anything part time?

[Anonymous]

FWIW, I am an associate at a big firm. I use daycare and I work "part-time" at the firm. Daycare works for me because my husband works nearby and he can do drop off and/or pick if I need him to. I generally leave by 5 and do not work at home unless I have to (except for checking blackberry which I do until about 8). My schedule is that I do not come in at all one day a week, but I end up coming in on those days probably on average once a month. I am a litigator and I find the most difficult part to be the ups and downs as far as hours go. Some weeks I am slammed (although still billing less than I would have if I was slammed when I was full-time) and I find it difficult to cope, some weeks I leave at 4 every day. So basically, you have to be flexible. However, given my PT status I mkae considerably less than I used to and I see from a prior post that I do not make much more than previous poster who works for the government 30 hours a week, which sounds like a much better deal!

[Anonymous]

Another law firm refugee here. I coudln't do it. As 9:40 notes, she is usually only home for bedtime one night a week. But she loves her job - I did not, and the cost wasn't worth it to me. I was so stressed out just trying to keep up with billables (which I could not) that I did absolutely no professional development/rainmaking type activities, which I think are key to a senior associate looking to build up to partner. I won't even comment on how my home life fell apart and how little I saw DD. While I never liked the job in the first place, I came to loathe it and was really miserable. I think it's even worse if you're a partner, because clients expect you to be available when they are. I was lucky to get out right before the economy tanked.

[Anonymous]

10:32 poster here. I should add that I do no rainmaking or networking activities. Doing so would throw my "balance" off-balance. Given that I work at a big firm, I have not gotten any pressure to do so....yet.

[Anonymous]

I am a partner at a medium sized firm. I made partner before dd was born. It is not easy, and I have a husband who does a lot, including pick up almost every night from daycare. He used to get home when we had a quite inflexible nanny (she worked 8:15-6:15, but I would have prefered 9-7). DH has a government job, although he'd much rather be the parent who drops off so he could work later, but I just can't get out of the office in time. I tried, and I can't. I am not a litigator. I get home 2-3 nights a week before lights out, but that is later than she should go down.

If you do go the nanny route, find a nanny/housekeeper. Ours wasn't so much on cleaning or doing other chores once DD went to preschool. That factored in our decision to go full time after care instead. It might have been better if I had been able to write down and give detailed instructions of what needed to be done, but I just didn't consider that a huge priority once I got home. .

I am lucky to have parents near by, who can do pick up. We have an emergency dog walker/baby sitter, who has a key to our house and can get in, get car keys, and pick up dd from after are in a pinch. We never seem to have a good depth in the bench of babysitters though.

I work sometimes after I get home and I work weekends frequently. On the weekends, I go in at 6am so I can get home by the time nap time is over. We are on one nap only now.

I have trouble making my billables every year, and I certainly haven't had a bonus in years. I am lucky to have some residual origination that keeps me afloat, and I have good relations with many partners in the firm.

I guess I make it work. I like, not love, my job. My temper is short, I am always tired, and my DH and I have friction frequently over who is doing what, or not doing what, around the house.

[Anonymous]

I am trying not to react too strongly because I know everyone makes their own choices, but I have a hard time fathoming only being around one bedtime a week and having a night time babysitter in addition to a nanny.

I've been feeling guilty that I only see my kids for an hour or two (rushed) in the morning and three hours at night, but I guess I'm not doing so bad (gov't lawyer here).

[Anonymous]

I am a law firm partner at a medium sized firm in DC and since my oldest just turned 10 have just hit a decade of being mom and lawyer. I love my work and have a great gig in that I work hard but not extreme hours and make very good $$ (over 400K). My usual "normal" work day is from 8:30 to 6. I get home at 6:30 almost every night. I make up the rest of the billable hours by working in the evening when I am busy and through travel when I will bill a lot. It definitely can be done, but it is not without its challenges.

How I made it work? have always used nannies and have housecleaner and contract out a lot of stuff. The only domestic "chore" I do on a regular basis is cooking and that is mainly because I enjoy it. If I'm busy, forget it you've got takeout or mac and cheese. My husband also works hard but has regular hours most of the time. Most importantly, we agree that our job responsibilities are equally important. That means that if something comes up that needs to be done (doctors appt., minor school event, etc.) it is assigned to whoever can do it most easily and there is no assumption that it will be me (having to do all of these things rather than splitting them is very hard to do and work at a firm).

What did I have to change/sacrifice? I had to change firms to make this life work for me after my 2nd was born. My old firm was one of those extremely demanding firms and it would have meant almost no bedtimes for me to be full time and try to make partner there. I understand people who make that choice but it was too much for me. As others have mentioned, I also let go of any major efforts at rainmaking and networking outside office hours for now. I know that I will need to focus on these things at some point in my career, but that requires a lot of time that I just can't commit right now.

I would only recommend doing this if you actually like the work you are doing, your spouse is fully supportive, and you have great flexible child care while your kids are small. If you have those things, I say go for it.