"Red-Shirting" of kids

[Anonymous]

As I do more research into this school admissions process (my DS is 3 with a late birthday and has been in a full-time pre-school type setting since he was 2.), I am hearing more and more about parents waiting to put their kids in school and more importantly about schools (particularly Independent) not accepting the younger kids into the schools. I am very concerend about it. Though I see some inherent advantages, I am also concerned about my DS being bored in a class that he is the oldest and perhaps maybe developmentally beyond his classmates. What factors did you consider when making this decision? Have you experienced schools advising you to wait another year, and what reasons did they give? Is this a reflection of a weakness in a school to meet the needs of its children? I also know this is a big conversation among parents of kids who play sports too.

[Anonymous]

There have been extensive and very heated discussions of redshirting in the past. Perhaps you could start by looking in the archives?

[Anonymous]

holding boys back?
http://www.dcurbanmom.com/jforum/posts/list/4866.page#23137

Harvard study about downside of redshirting
http://www.dcurbanmom.com/jforum/posts/list/21702.page#131871

Young, socially awkward child: To redshirt or not to redshirt... that is the question
http://www.dcurbanmom.com/jforum/posts/list/38943.page#259415

Please give me an honest answer
http://www.dcurbanmom.com/jforum/posts/list/33467.page#216530

[Anonymous]

We considered it, our children are late spring/early summer birthdays. we decided to keep them at the age appropriate grade rather than redshirt.

we are very happy with the decision.

[Anonymous]

It's a trend that hopefully, thankfully, seems to be dying out a bit, or at least more parents are finally willing to step up and say "no way."

(We walked from a top independent school last year that wanted our DS held back. Went with our second choice that was happy to put him in pre-k, as a 4 year old with a late July birthday. SO SO SO glad that we did.)

[Anonymous]

OP, you ask if redshirting reflects a weakness in schools that are unable to meet childrens' needs. That could be part of it, but also consider that it may be a weakness in parents who are unable to accept the fact that their kids are growing up....

[Anonymous]

We have a girl with a late September birthday that made her eligible for K in public school but not private school. We looked at private school, but none of them gave any consideration to her actual development (verbal ability, advanced reader already) versus her age in terms of her grade placement. K curricula seemed to match what was being offered in public K (i.e., the private school K age cohort didn't seem to be getting an advanced curriculum).

In short, this was a major reason why we didn't bother to apply to private schools. We placed her in public K, and could not imagine having redshirted in either public or private, even though she was very close to the boundary.

[Anonymous]

I would strongly urge you to look at the perspectives offered in previous threads by parents of kids now in their teens. I have a July birthday son, now 14, who entered kindergarten the year he turned 5. Our experience has been that we didn't see the downside to this decision until he hit middle school. We wish now that we had waited to send him to school as we see his relatively younger age as a distinct disadvantage, particularly with respect to athletics, social life, and organizational skills.

[Anonymous]

PP: Did you address the possibility of redshirting when your son was younger? Its not clear whether it was ever considered as an option.

[Anonymous]

We did consider it, and, like another PP, chose not to send him to public school, in part, b/c admissions directors at independent schools suggested he should go into PK, rather than K at age 5. I would also note that our son's nursery school teachers and pediatrician all recommended that we allow him to enter K. He is very academically able and relatively mature, so we've not had a terrible result, but on the margins, I'd say we should have delayed his entering K. In particular, his relatively younger age became an issue when he moved to private school as a middle-schooler, so I would advise parents considering their options on this issue to take into account whether they might move their child to private school at a later grade.

[Anonymous]

13:28 here. Thanks for your response PP. If I understand you correctly, your son moved to private school in middle school, but was in public school before this? You said you "chose not to send him to public school" but then he moved to private school in middle school, so I am assuming what you meant was that you chose not to send him to private school in K because all of the AD's were recommending that he do Pre-K. Is this accurate? Sorry for the confusion on my end. I am interested because my son has a summer bday, and is in private school now, and the teachers are recommending that he go on to K, despite the fact that they are recommending that 7 other summer bdays repeat Prek. Don't know what to make of this....

What I am wondering is, whether PP, or others, have been told by the schools (privates) to send their children on to K, only to run into trouble in later grades. Or, were the people who felt there were issues in later grades told initially (ie: PreK or K) that they should hold their sons back, and for whatever reason, they felt that this was not in their child's best interest at the time. Hope this question makes sense!

[Anonymous]

To the last poster: What you should make of it is that your child is ready to go to kindergarten. And not even in this crazed red shirting atmosphere can his teachers justify holding him back. For goodness sake, what do you have to fear by fear itself?! Being young and smart is cool! It does wonders for self-esteem. Being held back, conversely, tells the child that he/she wasn't considered good enough. Being held back does not cure: shyness, social awkwardness, lack of precocity, etc. Your kid, by and large, does not become a different personality or of different intelligence by being held back. He becomes larger. Smart kids can always keep up, not-so-smart kids struggle at some point no matter what. Unless your kid has a diagnosis from a developmental pediatrician - you should send your child to school at the right time. Flame away.

[Anonymous]

Our "younger" kids have been encouraged to move forward despite the fact they are each the youngest in their classes.

Someone has to be the youngest, and quite frankly, given their birthdays it is shocking that they are in fact the youngest, but like the PP said, I think that it does do self esteem wonders to say that you are doing the same thing that kids up to 18 months older are doing.

Conversely, I have seen these older kids acting bored and disruptive in their classes, and outside of school, have heard plenty of chatter among both the kids and parents about the age ranges in the classes and the wonderment about what is "wrong" with the older kids.

[Anonymous]

Like all parenting decisions, this is hard b/c it is asking you to know your child, his learning style, etc. NOW. This is hard when children are so young. Listen to your instincts...they are usually better than any study...

[Anonymous]

I'd suggest you pick up the book "Outliers: The Story of Success" by Malcolm Gladwell (author of "The Tipping Point" and "Blink"). In it, he makes a strong case (through statistical research) that the older kids in a class or sports team have a strong comparative advantage. Of course it's every parents individual choice, but I for one want to give my kids every advantage they can get.