Thin Shaming

[Anonymous]

Ok, I feel like I can't win. I lost about 20 pounds this summer taking me from a size 8 to a size 4. I feel great, my confidence is up and my Dh and I are having a lot more sex. However, I am finding that women were nicer to me when I was a size 8. It may be that I am in an area where there are A LOT of heavy people, but I feel like I am being treated different because I am thin. We went out to eat the other night with "friends" and they made fun of me for choosing the fish and veggies and for having only one beer, they just wouldn't let it go. I will say I am getting a lot more attention from guys, but I am already married and we're new to the area and I'm trying to make girl friends. I'm just angry that it has come to the point where I feel out of place and shamed for trying to be healthy.

[Anonymous]

You weren't fat before. I have heavy friends, thin friends and have also recently lost 20 lbs. none of the issues you describe. Do you come off braggy or judgmental? You sound it.

[Anonymous]

WAHHHHHHH!

Gimme a break. I'm thin. You aren't living through an ordeal here.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:You weren't fat before. I have heavy friends, thin friends and have also recently lost 20 lbs. none of the issues you describe. Do you come off braggy or judgmental? You sound it.

size 8 is big

[Anonymous]

Miserable fat people want everyone to wallow in their shameful disgusting ways.

[Anonymous]

Do you live around here (DC area?) I can't imagine people here acting like that. It's pretty health concious overall. Not as much as say LA or San Francisco but people tend to watch what they eat. Sorry your friends are acting that way.

[Anonymous]

OP, good job on your weight loss. Your friends were being jerks, but if they're good friends, I'd let it slide. They'll get over it quickly enough.

[Anonymous]

I used to live in the DC area, now I live in a smaller mid west city. Believe me, I am not judgmental of others. I'm just frustrated because my DH and I are very active people and we are having trouble finding people who are into similar activities. The dinner was with some of my DH's work friends and their wives. They also gave us a hard time when we told them our plans for the next day were to go hiking. I'm probably just being overly sensitive, they were just joking with us.

[Anonymous]

As a person who has always been pretty thin, I do think some women project that thin people feel superior and therefore they dislike the thin person before the thin person has said anything. There is kinship in knowing that other people have faults. I, myself, don't like people who seem to be so perfect (my SIL is like this... everybody loves her, she always says the right thing, makes everyone feel at ease... but I've never seen her stick her foot in her mouth or make a mistake ... and it makes me less likely to trust her b/c she seems flawless. I do like her... but I hold her at arm's length b/c I feel like I'm never going to measure up to her perfection. If she would just fail at something-- I feel she'd be more relatable).

I think other people have the same sense about weight... they don't like someone who seems to have no trouble keeping their weight in line -- b/c it seems so difficult to them.

We all have are achilles heels -- but we are most sensitive to those who have mastered what we haven't.

[Anonymous]

I noticed this recently too, OP.

I was size 14. I'm now a size 4. It's true that women are "bitchier" to you when you're skinny, and more athletic. I'm the same damn person, I'm not talking about diet and exercise constantly. But female strangers are, on the whole, much more rude. It's really weird how people treat you differently when you get "skinny." I hope I wasn't like that before.

[Anonymous]

I agree OP. I lost almost 20 pounds over the summer and definitely feel the 'attitude' from stranger females. Even some of the same women I would always see at my exercise classes.


You can't win. If you stay fat, female strangers with be friendlier, but others look down on your fatness. If you lose the weight, the 'others' are nicer to you but the female strangers are nastier.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:You weren't fat before. I have heavy friends, thin friends and have also recently lost 20 lbs. none of the issues you describe. Do you come off braggy or judgmental? You sound it.

size 8 is big

um no its not

[Anonymous]

OP, I've never met a person who lost a significant amount of weight that didn't want to tell everyone how they did it and "preach" to them. If you are in an area with a lot of fat people, then I would first look inside at how you are coming off.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I agree OP. I lost almost 20 pounds over the summer and definitely feel the 'attitude' from stranger females. Even some of the same women I would always see at my exercise classes.


You can't win. If you stay fat, female strangers with be friendlier, but others look down on your fatness. If you lose the weight, the 'others' are nicer to you but the female strangers are nastier.

It sounds like you care too much about what strangers think about you. That's a YOU problem.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Ok, I feel like I can't win. I lost about 20 pounds this summer taking me from a size 8 to a size 4. I feel great, my confidence is up and my Dh and I are having a lot more sex. However, I am finding that women were nicer to me when I was a size 8. It may be that I am in an area where there are A LOT of heavy people, but I feel like I am being treated different because I am thin. We went out to eat the other night with "friends" and they made fun of me for choosing the fish and veggies and for having only one beer, they just wouldn't let it go. I will say I am getting a lot more attention from guys, but I am already married and we're new to the area and I'm trying to make girl friends. I'm just angry that it has come to the point where I feel out of place and shamed for trying to be healthy.

Stop faking it, OP.

No one gives a rat's ass about how skinny you are. Furthermore, you realize that an 8 is a 10 in disguise. So your 4 isn't really a 4.