California is tacky

[Anonymous]

I've been in the south Bay Area for the past three years and am dying to get back to DC and send my DS to a private college on the east coast l if I can convince my parents to help me out with the costs (single mother here). This is a rant about all the tacky horrible crap I hate about California which makes me miss the gentility of the South and the northeast.

First, the kids my DS has made friends with in middle school and freshman year of high school (which was last year) talk like wannabe gangsters or rappers despite growing up in a nice Bay Area suburb. From my friends who have sent their kids to the UCs (UC Berkeley, UCLA and UCSB are represented among their kids), this is something that just continues into the college years apparently. DS has started to invite his friends to a night out to "kick it" (apparently this means "hang out"). Nobody says "yeah", they say "yeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeuh". Music is "ill" or "sick" (???????). Nobody dresses properly! The boys think a t shirt with no collar and sandals is an outfit. Who wears sandals in any setting except a beach, you may ask. Well, this is something that Californians think is acceptable. And the girls bare their midriffs with cropped tops and wear torn tattered denim shorts that barely cover their ass. Oh, and flip flops.

The informal culture at work drives me crazy too. I used to be a lawyer, now work as a consultant. In DC I was used to wearing pencil skirts and suits. And hose and heels. In California everyone looked at me weirdly.

You go to a nice restaurant on a date with a professional man and he's wearing a T-shirt.

People here have lots of money but are extremely tacky about it. Bragging hard enough to make you wince (how can a man not CRINGE to hear himself name the price and make of his Rolex Submarine?), wearing clothes or accessories that flash brand logos way too obviously, blatantly ask you what you do for a living, and are piled with their old insecurities. I know this breed is infesting NoVa, but I grew up in proper Virginia and spent most of my student and professional life in DC. Nobody behaved like this.

Everything in California is tacky and people here have no class. I am sad my DS is growing up here.

[Anonymous]

Why does your daughter have to go to a private college? Face it, you're stuck up and spoiled.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I've been in the south Bay Area for the past three years and am dying to get back to DC and send my DS to a private college on the east coast l if I can convince my parents to help me out with the costs (single mother here). This is a rant about all the tacky horrible crap I hate about California which makes me miss the gentility of the South and the northeast.

First, the kids my DS has made friends with in middle school and freshman year of high school (which was last year) talk like wannabe gangsters or rappers despite growing up in a nice Bay Area suburb. From my friends who have sent their kids to the UCs (UC Berkeley, UCLA and UCSB are represented among their kids), this is something that just continues into the college years apparently. DS has started to invite his friends to a night out to "kick it" (apparently this means "hang out"). Nobody says "yeah", they say "yeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeuh". Music is "ill" or "sick" (???????). Nobody dresses properly! The boys think a t shirt with no collar and sandals is an outfit. Who wears sandals in any setting except a beach, you may ask. Well, this is something that Californians think is acceptable. And the girls bare their midriffs with cropped tops and wear torn tattered denim shorts that barely cover their ass. Oh, and flip flops.

The informal culture at work drives me crazy too. I used to be a lawyer, now work as a consultant. In DC I was used to wearing pencil skirts and suits. And hose and heels. In California everyone looked at me weirdly.

You go to a nice restaurant on a date with a professional man and he's wearing a T-shirt.

People here have lots of money but are extremely tacky about it. Bragging hard enough to make you wince (how can a man not CRINGE to hear himself name the price and make of his Rolex Submarine?), wearing clothes or accessories that flash brand logos way too obviously, blatantly ask you what you do for a living, and are piled with their old insecurities. I know this breed is infesting NoVa, but I grew up in proper Virginia and spent most of my student and professional life in DC. Nobody behaved like this.

Everything in California is tacky and people here have no class. I am sad my DS is growing up here.

WTF? DC is the mecca of 'what do you do'. Even in NYC they ask it less.

CA asks 'what do you do' way less often than here. You must be on that sweet mendocino purp.

I don't hear much of bay people flaunting wrist watches etc - that's a NY banker thing. What they do flaunt is expensive eco-outdoor treks and vacations - climbing xxx mountain or doing xxx trek that obviously costs a lot of money (and time) to do.

The clothing culture you are right, but I think there is a nice inbetween. Suit to work everyday is stupid. But ratty company t-shirt and cargo shorts and flipflops is stupid as well.

"wiggerisms" are rife in all suburban schools, this is not a 'bay issue'.

The tacky money thing actually has ramped up a lot post financial crisis when lots of north east banking/consulting types MOVED to the bay area and brought that culture.

There was an article about this i read when a veteran of the bay tech scene says: "beware of when the pretty people arrive".

[Anonymous]

I think people in the dc area are generally very low key about their money. I've met more than a few people that when I found out they were loaded I was shocked. I have one friend in particular who went IPO and is making 7 figures a year off his stock alone. He drives his same old 10yr old car, lives in the same house, his wife works her middle management job, and carries targer purses. You would never ever guess.

[Anonymous]

There is tackiness everywhere, OP. It just varies a little in style. I'm from the Northeast and went to college in the deep South and I assure you there was tackiness in both places though my hometown and college were both very affluent. You can't really escape it. It sounds like you're reacting to a specific kind of tackiness, so if you really find it unbearable and can't stand the idea of your kid turning into a little Vanilla Ice, DC will always be here for you. You sound Southern preppy and on the formal side, so I can see why CA is not the place for you!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I've been in the south Bay Area for the past three years and am dying to get back to DC and send my DS to a private college on the east coast l if I can convince my parents to help me out with the costs (single mother here). This is a rant about all the tacky horrible crap I hate about California which makes me miss the gentility of the South and the northeast.

First, the kids my DS has made friends with in middle school and freshman year of high school (which was last year) talk like wannabe gangsters or rappers despite growing up in a nice Bay Area suburb. From my friends who have sent their kids to the UCs (UC Berkeley, UCLA and UCSB are represented among their kids), this is something that just continues into the college years apparently. DS has started to invite his friends to a night out to "kick it" (apparently this means "hang out"). Nobody says "yeah", they say "yeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeuh". Music is "ill" or "sick" (???????). Nobody dresses properly! The boys think a t shirt with no collar and sandals is an outfit. Who wears sandals in any setting except a beach, you may ask. Well, this is something that Californians think is acceptable. And the girls bare their midriffs with cropped tops and wear torn tattered denim shorts that barely cover their ass. Oh, and flip flops.

The informal culture at work drives me crazy too. I used to be a lawyer, now work as a consultant. In DC I was used to wearing pencil skirts and suits. And hose and heels. In California everyone looked at me weirdly.

You go to a nice restaurant on a date with a professional man and he's wearing a T-shirt.

People here have lots of money but are extremely tacky about it. Bragging hard enough to make you wince (how can a man not CRINGE to hear himself name the price and make of his Rolex Submarine?), wearing clothes or accessories that flash brand logos way too obviously, blatantly ask you what you do for a living, and are piled with their old insecurities. I know this breed is infesting NoVa, but I grew up in proper Virginia and spent most of my student and professional life in DC. Nobody behaved like this.

Everything in California is tacky and people here have no class. I am sad my DS is growing up here.

This sounds like a dream come true. I'd love to burn my dress clothes in a huge fire.

I'm happy to report that DC has gotten much more dress casual since you've been away. Granted, I work in IT, so it has always been more progressive, but I cannot even tell you the last time I saw someone in a suit.

I went to a French restaurant that I had not been to in a few years and noticed that even they lifted their jacket requirement for men.

LOVE THE TREND TOWARDS CASUAL!!!

[Anonymous]

This has "made up" written all over it. A number of points: proper Virginia. Your writing style, and you're a consultant and former lawyer? And you've worked in two lucrative fields, and your first thought is mommy and daddy will need to kick in for moving costs. That you seem shocked, SHOCKED at teenage culture today. But you think it's only irritating there.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I've been in the south Bay Area for the past three years and am dying to get back to DC and send my DS to a private college on the east coast l if I can convince my parents to help me out with the costs (single mother here). This is a rant about all the tacky horrible crap I hate about California which makes me miss the gentility of the South and the northeast.

First, the kids my DS has made friends with in middle school and freshman year of high school (which was last year) talk like wannabe gangsters or rappers despite growing up in a nice Bay Area suburb. From my friends who have sent their kids to the UCs (UC Berkeley, UCLA and UCSB are represented among their kids), this is something that just continues into the college years apparently. DS has started to invite his friends to a night out to "kick it" (apparently this means "hang out"). Nobody says "yeah", they say "yeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeuh". Music is "ill" or "sick" (???????). Nobody dresses properly! The boys think a t shirt with no collar and sandals is an outfit. Who wears sandals in any setting except a beach, you may ask. Well, this is something that Californians think is acceptable. And the girls bare their midriffs with cropped tops and wear torn tattered denim shorts that barely cover their ass. Oh, and flip flops.

The informal culture at work drives me crazy too. I used to be a lawyer, now work as a consultant. In DC I was used to wearing pencil skirts and suits. And hose and heels. In California everyone looked at me weirdly.

You go to a nice restaurant on a date with a professional man and he's wearing a T-shirt.

People here have lots of money but are extremely tacky about it. Bragging hard enough to make you wince (how can a man not CRINGE to hear himself name the price and make of his Rolex Submarine?), wearing clothes or accessories that flash brand logos way too obviously, blatantly ask you what you do for a living, and are piled with their old insecurities. I know this breed is infesting NoVa, but I grew up in proper Virginia and spent most of my student and professional life in DC. Nobody behaved like this.

Everything in California is tacky and people here have no class. I am sad my DS is growing up here.

Who are you!?!? Everything you've just written is EXACTLY what happens in DC. I too used to live in California - Northern and Southern and I can tell you that kids are the same on both coasts, and they say the same things, listen to the same music as well. As a matter of fact, if its happening in California right now - it will be the next hottest thing in DC in about 6 months.

Get over yourself. you sound like an old, angry bastard.

[Anonymous]

Hi OP- I moved to DC from the Bay Area (Berkeley) and I understand some of what you are experiencing. Yes, people tend to dress much more casually then here. I recall going to the theatre in SF dressed to the nines only to sit next to someone wearing Birkenstocks and wrinkled jeans.
As far as the cultural piece you describe- where in the South Bay are you? Do you think this is a function of the particular neighborhood? I do know there is a pride in the vernacular "hella cool", and a distinct Bay Area accent among some of the urban African American youth. My DH is AA from the E Coast (NY) and noticed it immediately when we moved there.
I didnt experience the bragging about money and material things. But I lived in the Berkeley Hills (very nice neighborhod), but the culture was much more subdued. You could be next to someone who looked homeless and turned out to be a Nobel Prize winner, or vineyard owner, etc. I actually didn't see many people with displays of wealth that i do here. In fact, I had to seriously step up my wardrobe when I moved to DC. Clogs and cargo pants were not going to cut it here, you know.

I'm sorry you are unhappy in the BA. I miss it dearly. I wonder if you could find some things to your liking there. Do you like outdoor activites? Have you tried hanging in Palo Alto, Walnut Creek, Danville or Orinda, Marin? you may like these areas.

Anyway- best to you OP.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I think people in the dc area are generally very low key about their money. I've met more than a few people that when I found out they were loaded I was shocked. I have one friend in particular who went IPO and is making 7 figures a year off his stock alone. He drives his same old 10yr old car, lives in the same house, his wife works her middle management job, and carries targer purses. You would never ever guess.

Lame

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I've been in the south Bay Area for the past three years and am dying to get back to DC and send my DS to a private college on the east coast l if I can convince my parents to help me out with the costs (single mother here). This is a rant about all the tacky horrible crap I hate about California which makes me miss the gentility of the South and the northeast.

First, the kids my DS has made friends with in middle school and freshman year of high school (which was last year) talk like wannabe gangsters or rappers despite growing up in a nice Bay Area suburb. From my friends who have sent their kids to the UCs (UC Berkeley, UCLA and UCSB are represented among their kids), this is something that just continues into the college years apparently. DS has started to invite his friends to a night out to "kick it" (apparently this means "hang out"). Nobody says "yeah", they say "yeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeuh". Music is "ill" or "sick" (???????). Nobody dresses properly! The boys think a t shirt with no collar and sandals is an outfit. Who wears sandals in any setting except a beach, you may ask. Well, this is something that Californians think is acceptable. And the girls bare their midriffs with cropped tops and wear torn tattered denim shorts that barely cover their ass. Oh, and flip flops.

The informal culture at work drives me crazy too. I used to be a lawyer, now work as a consultant. In DC I was used to wearing pencil skirts and suits. And hose and heels. In California everyone looked at me weirdly.

You go to a nice restaurant on a date with a professional man and he's wearing a T-shirt.

People here have lots of money but are extremely tacky about it. Bragging hard enough to make you wince (how can a man not CRINGE to hear himself name the price and make of his Rolex Submarine?), wearing clothes or accessories that flash brand logos way too obviously, blatantly ask you what you do for a living, and are piled with their old insecurities. I know this breed is infesting NoVa, but I grew up in proper Virginia and spent most of my student and professional life in DC. Nobody behaved like this.

Everything in California is tacky and people here have no class. I am sad my DS is growing up here.

WTF? DC is the mecca of 'what do you do'. Even in NYC they ask it less.

CA asks 'what do you do' way less often than here. You must be on that sweet mendocino purp.

I don't hear much of bay people flaunting wrist watches etc - that's a NY banker thing. What they do flaunt is expensive eco-outdoor treks and vacations - climbing xxx mountain or doing xxx trek that obviously costs a lot of money (and time) to do.

The clothing culture you are right, but I think there is a nice inbetween. Suit to work everyday is stupid. But ratty company t-shirt and cargo shorts and flipflops is stupid as well.

"wiggerisms" are rife in all suburban schools, this is not a 'bay issue'.

The tacky money thing actually has ramped up a lot post financial crisis when lots of north east banking/consulting types MOVED to the bay area and brought that culture.

There was an article about this i read when a veteran of the bay tech scene says: "beware of when the pretty people arrive".

You and OP are both screamingly racist.

[Anonymous]

Oh OP. Kids say that and don't live in California. How sheltered you are.

[Anonymous]

OP - you sound so snooty with a tight cork up your ass. Yes, move out of the BA. It's not for you. OTH, I don't like the "south" - not for me. Maybe the two are incompatible.

I looooove the BA. Would move back in a heartbeat if it wasn't soooo expensive. I love the casual work attire. I'm much more productive when I'm wearing comfy clothes than when I'm constantly having to check my attire. I agree on one point..sometimes people dress too casually to work, but these folks aren't customer facing, and everyone else in their group probably dresses the same, including the manager, so it's not a big deal.

Get over yourself.

[Anonymous]

I've never lived in CA full time and my kids didn't go to school there so I can't say much about the youth culture, but in general I agree with you that I can't stand CA. I was there two weeks per month every month for a couple of years and I couldn't stand the laid back, faux-hippie/outdoor vibe. But I'm a self-admitted, uptight New Englander, so...to each his own I guess. I have several family members who moved there and love it. They show up to thanksgiving in tshirts and flip flops (even if it's snowing) while the rest of the men are in blue blazers and we are dining on my grandmother's formal china. It's pretty funny.

Maybe you need to look at moving back here. I get it - I wouldn't fit in to CA culture either, but that's why when DH got recruited to a tech company out there we didn't pursue it, even though it would've been a lot more money. He's even more uptight than I am!

And hey, at least your kid has made friends and seems to fit in.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I think people in the dc area are generally very low key about their money. I've met more than a few people that when I found out they were loaded I was shocked. I have one friend in particular who went IPO and is making 7 figures a year off his stock alone. He drives his same old 10yr old car, lives in the same house, his wife works her middle management job, and carries targer purses. You would never ever guess.

I think you need to get out more.