Unexpected pregnancy in my 40s

[Anonymous]

I recently confirmed that I am 6 weeks pregnant and I am 43 and DH is 55. This would be our first child. I am very, very concerned that we are too old to be parents, in addition to the risk involved being pregnant in my 40s and the risk of having a special needs child due to our age. Any advice is appreciated.

[Anonymous]

It is what it is. What will be will be.

Ps, I had my kids at 41 and 44 and couldn't be happier!

[Anonymous]

There's a lot of good screening now that can happen really early in the pregnancy. You can find out very early on if there are common genetic issues and terminate if that is your concern.

Also, you may miscarry, so try to stay calm and take things one day at a time.

Finally, if you don't want children, please use birth control. There was a whole thread recently on 40-something women not adequately preventing unwanted pregnancies. If this is a wanted pregnancy, great. If not, please be more cautious in the future.

[Anonymous]

Op, I'm 43 and currently pregnant with a healthy baby girl . I had done the Mat121 blood test and the nt scan.
I'm also feeling great and having a textbook pregnancy!

You're not at all too old! Hope all goes well .

[Anonymous]

My best friend had an unexpected pregnancy at 42, and her baby girl is perfect -- but she did say the pregnancy was harder on her than the first one 10 years ago.

That said, if you're that concerned, please find a good options counselor to talk to about carrying to term (and all the great screening you can do if you're concerned about genetic issues), adoption, or terminating if that's the choice you make. Find someone who does not judge you for exploring any option you want to explore. (and dismiss all the judgement you'll probably get on DCUM on this) This is your life. Not theirs.

Also, dismiss the ridiculous PP above who chastised you about birth control and being cautious. As if you don't know anything about that.

[Anonymous]

If you want to have a baby, you won't ever be younger than you are today. Congratulations, OP. It is nerve racking to be pregnant when you are older and know the risks (I am also 42, though this is not my first pregnancy), but, in my opinion, it would be worse not to try based on fear.

[Anonymous]

I'm 40 and pregnant with my first. There are a number of screening tests that you can get during the first trimester to give you a better idea of what to expect. I'd call your doctor and talk through things with her/him. Best of luck to you.

[Anonymous]

I had my second at 43. We had similar concerns and did a microarray with a CVS sample and all checked out. This tests for many more genetic problems that arise with age than the mat 21 blood test and is much more accurate. DD was born healthy at 39 weeks. I on the other hand had a much harder pregnancy than when I was 37. Good luck!

[Anonymous]

Congratulations! I'm 41 and just had my 2nd. Although I sometimes wish we had started earlier, I know we weren't ready to be parents any earlier. And given how much kids take over our lives, I'm glad we had our own lives before becoming a family. Also glad that we were a lot more financially settled. One should be totally doable. Having kids has given my husband and I so much joy.

[Anonymous]

Apparently I'm 10:21's twin - I also had mine at 41 and 44!! Just turned 46 (literally yesterday!) and yes, I'm tired, but couldn't be happier, really. Both pregnancies were fine and kids are healthy. There really are lots of us having kids in our 40's, especially in the dc area.

[Anonymous]

I'm the 11:10 poster, and I second what the 11:29 poster said. I've had six friends in their 40s have babies so far this year, and my OB mentioned that the DC area has many women in their 40s having babies, often first-time mothers.

[Anonymous]

huh - I'm having a slightly easier pregnancy (so far) at 36/37 than I had at 28 with #1. But, I know a lot more now, self-medicated early for morning sickness and I think we fixed an underlying health issue (thyroid, taking meds for years now) that was not discovered until late in my first pregnancy.

To OP - I say congrats. You are obviously NOT too old - women have had babies into their 40s for a long time. You will be given lots of genetic testing and such, but just try to relax and enjoy the surprise.

[Anonymous]

If it were me I would say no way and look for a way to end the Preg your Dh is 55 and this is an accident? Just a different perspective from the go for it posters. Best of luck

[Anonymous]

^^ most of these older posters are Preg after infertility treatments and know for certain that the want to be older patents. It is VERY hard to RAISE a child when you ate 43 and yr husband is 55.

[Anonymous]

Congratulations!!!!! Lots of moms in this area have first in late 30s -- and lots have in the early 40s -- and lots of older dads. You will find that you are not as old as you think.