Is anyone else an only child?

[Anonymous]

I am happily married with four kids. My husband has six siblings, and everyone on his side gets together every weekend. My closest friends have sisters/brothers whom they confide. I do have my parents, but I miss having my own people. I am mid-30s, 20's we were all friends, but now we have gone seperate ways. Any other only childrenout there??? and who are your confidants, besides your partner?

[Anonymous]

My husband is. He has a couple close guy friends that are his go to for the heavier things. Then a bunch of friends/coworkers for socializing.

I have 2 siblings, but they're significantly older and live far away. They're not confidants for me. I mainly turn to 3 or 4 old friends (people I've known for 15-20 years) when I need someone to talk to. My local friends are more casual-which bums me out a little.

[Anonymous]

I am. DH is not. He's my biggest confidant and I am his. I have a good friend from hs, a best friend from college, a nice group of both hs bad college friends with whom I can group email or see occasionally and confide in about specific things. I have nice coworkers and wonderful neighbors and some grad school connections. And I have made a few good girl friends via DH believe it or not. I'm not really a girl's girl or a bestie type, but I have a pretty solid rotation of people I can socialize with on all levels of depth. SIL is not close. My mom is pretty close to me though, and so are a few other female family members even thought we don't speak often I know they're there.

[Anonymous]

I'm an only child. I have a good group of girlfriends, some of whom are long-distance, but I do my best to keep in touch with them. One of my best friends is another only and others have siblings with minimal relationships, so we're all "family" to each other in our own way.

[Anonymous]

I am an only child and it sucks!!!! It was awful as a child because I grew up in a city with no family anywhere near there, so I was super lonely all the time. I only saw grandparents, etc. once a year.

Now we have a child, but I want a second child so he will not be an only child.

I feel that as an adult being an only child is even worse. My parents live on the West Coast, DH's family is hundreds of miles away (and we are not close with them anyways). My son only sees his grandparents twice a year and we spend every holiday alone. My son won't have any cousins b/c DH's sibs don't have kids.

The thing I am most envious of is people who have large, loving extended families--the kind where everyone keeps in touch with supportive Facebook posts, and where they all have the big family reunion at the beach for a week every year. I have 15 first cousins, none of whom has any interest in a relationship, and all of whom live on the West Coast.

I feel alone all the time. I have no confidantes except for DH.

[Anonymous]

I'm an only child and I'm fine with it. I have my husband and friends to talk to. My husband has two siblings and he doesn't often talk to them, much less confide in them. They just aren't close, even though they are all fine people. Having siblings doesn't ensure a close relationship.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I'm an only child. I have a good group of girlfriends, some of whom are long-distance, but I do my best to keep in touch with them. One of my best friends is another only and others have siblings with minimal relationships, so we're all "family" to each other in our own way.

This

-only child of an only child

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I'm an only child and I'm fine with it. I have my husband and friends to talk to. My husband has two siblings and he doesn't often talk to them, much less confide in them. They just aren't close, even though they are all fine people. Having siblings doesn't ensure a close relationship.

+1

I was fine being an only child. Had a couple cousins I saw several times a year and school and neighborhood friends. My parents are pretty no-nonsense, so I was certainly not spoiled or undisciplined.

I've always had close friends and have made new friends since moving to DC 10 years ago.

I know plenty of people who aren't close with their siblings (or everyone is spread out all over the country), so having more kids isn't a guarantee of some Norman Rockwell-esque Sunday dinner.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I'm an only child and I'm fine with it. I have my husband and friends to talk to. My husband has two siblings and he doesn't often talk to them, much less confide in them. They just aren't close, even though they are all fine people. Having siblings doesn't ensure a close relationship.

As an only child many of whose friends were only children (I immigrated in my early teens from a European country where this was the norm), who was always jealous of multi-sibling families, I was shocked to discover this, but it's true. People are not necessarily friends with their siblings or even like them. Having siblings does not ensure you have friends as an adult. Friendship is something you have to develop and sustain.

[Anonymous]

I'm an only child. I have best friends - people I've known since high school or longer. Also, I too have four kids. My oldest DD is 19, and it's so interesting that she's getting to the age where our relationship is transitioning from mother-daughter to friends.

[Anonymous]

I'm an only child of a single parent and I've always loved having my mother's full attention and affection. I have three best friends what I rely on and confide in - we made a point, years ago, of establishing rituals (I'm guessing like siblings do) and have attended each others graduations, birthdays, kid's birthdays, christenings, funerals, etc and get together every single week for brunch without exception. Too often friends can get casual with each other and forget that all relationships take work. None of my girlfriend's are only children but two are the only girls in their families.
Yes, my husband is my dearest but I need my "girls".
This baby will also be our only child.

[Anonymous]

Hey OP...don't feel too bad. I grew up with 8 kids in my family but no one lives in the same city. I only see some of them once a year. We don't talk that much either...just a few emails here or there. Try to make friends that you can confide in.

[Anonymous]

I grew up as an only and was pretty lonely. But, I'm an adoptee and recently connected with my birth family, and as it turns out I have siblings! Unfortunately, my family is on the other coast, so I don't get to see them as much as I'd like.

[Anonymous]

I am
so is DH
but he has tons of cousins

[Anonymous]

I can't believe how often this convo comes up.

Some onlies are lonely, some have tons of friends. Some people with siblings are lonely, others close to family, others have bad issues with family. Most people are normal with relatively happy relationships.

It irks me that many respond here to criticize others' family size or project their own bad experiences. When people complain about bad siblings no one jumps in to say "this is why having more than one sucks!" OP asked a productive question...so stop trying to make people feel bad about being or wanting an only, PPs.