Are 50+ women happier alone?

[Anonymous]

I am 45 year old single mom with two school age boys. I have a 55 year old friend who had raised 4 children all by herself. She is very happy by herself and don't even want to look for another man. I wander if it's common. If I hang in there a few more years, I'd be ok?

Right now sometimes I feel I desperately need someone, but afraid to complicate my children's peaceful life.

[Anonymous]

i'm a 48 year old single mom and very much want to find someone to be in a relationship with. not so worried about complicating my child's life to be quite honest.

[Anonymous]

FWBs only.

[Anonymous]

They are, but they aren't. Many of my friends are childless single women in their fifties. They like the ability to come and go as they please, but they are TERRIFIED of what happens as they get old and sick. Many don't have much left in the way of family. Who looks in on them? Money can only pay for so much, and what if you go gaga?

I am divorced in my 40s, but am an only child and have one child. I worry about this as well.

We have semi-seriously agreed that we will buy an old-lady house somewhere when we're all retired and live like the Golden Girls.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:They are, but they aren't. Many of my friends are childless single women in their fifties. They like the ability to come and go as they please, but they are TERRIFIED of what happens as they get old and sick. Many don't have much left in the way of family. Who looks in on them? Money can only pay for so much, and what if you go gaga?

I am divorced in my 40s, but am an only child and have one child. I worry about this as well.

We have semi-seriously agreed that we will buy an old-lady house somewhere when we're all retired and live like the Golden Girls.

A lot of married people with kids end up in nursing homes, where they rarely, if ever receive visitors.

There are no guarantees in life.

Some of my co-workers are considering buying a motel for a Golden Girls set up. Might work better than a house for privacy, pets, parking, etc.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:They are, but they aren't. Many of my friends are childless single women in their fifties. They like the ability to come and go as they please, but they are TERRIFIED of what happens as they get old and sick. Many don't have much left in the way of family. Who looks in on them? Money can only pay for so much, and what if you go gaga?

I am divorced in my 40s, but am an only child and have one child. I worry about this as well.

We have semi-seriously agreed that we will buy an old-lady house somewhere when we're all retired and live like the Golden Girls.

Every situation has its pros and cons. As a married lady in my fifties, the most likely scenario I see is taking care of DH when he ages and requires care. As I am female and younger, I will no doubt be alone by the time it is "my turn" to need help. Hello assisted living. I think the best bet is to probably just not get old!

I think it would be very possible to be happy alone. Having a relationship is nice IF it is a good one, but those can be rare.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:They are, but they aren't. Many of my friends are childless single women in their fifties. They like the ability to come and go as they please, but they are TERRIFIED of what happens as they get old and sick. Many don't have much left in the way of family. Who looks in on them? Money can only pay for so much, and what if you go gaga?

I am divorced in my 40s, but am an only child and have one child. I worry about this as well.

We have semi-seriously agreed that we will buy an old-lady house somewhere when we're all retired and live like the Golden Girls.

Every situation has its pros and cons. As a married lady in my fifties, the most likely scenario I see is taking care of DH when he ages and requires care. As I am female and younger, I will no doubt be alone by the time it is "my turn" to need help. Hello assisted living. I think the best bet is to probably just not get old!

I think it would be very possible to be happy alone. Having a relationship is nice IF it is a good one, but those can be rare.

+1

If I were divorced or widowed, I would never remarry. Too much work, too little payoff.

Sometimes I think marriage is just a big conspiracy to rope women into taking care of men and whatever children we have with them.

[Anonymous]

Ditto. If I were single, I would never remarry. I would love to live alone when my last kid leaves for college.

[Anonymous]

After raising 4 children and taking care of their husbands (many who are like another child) some women --- maybe many women say: enough of this care taking role. So when they date, they see that there is an expectation of them emotionally or literally pushed into another care taker role with the new husband, and they say, maybe I am better off with my women friends. There are not many 55+ women on this forum so this is not a realty for many posters here, but I can tell you that this is the logic that I have seen working at a Real estate office with many older women.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:After raising 4 children and taking care of their husbands (many who are like another child) some women --- maybe many women say: enough of this care taking role. So when they date, they see that there is an expectation of them emotionally or literally pushed into another care taker role with the new husband, and they say, maybe I am better off with my women friends. There are not many 55+ women on this forum so this is not a realty for many posters here, but I can tell you that this is the logic that I have seen working at a Real estate office with many older women.

I am 53 and already relate to this, even though my kids are teens. I do the lion's share of planning, working, childrearing, researching, emotional caregiving, the list goes on.

There is no way in hell I would sign up to this again.

[Anonymous]

Thank you ladies.

So I just need to hang in there for a few more years, then I am free.

That makes me feel better.


--OP

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:They are, but they aren't. Many of my friends are childless single women in their fifties. They like the ability to come and go as they please, but they are TERRIFIED of what happens as they get old and sick. Many don't have much left in the way of family. Who looks in on them? Money can only pay for so much, and what if you go gaga?

I am divorced in my 40s, but am an only child and have one child. I worry about this as well.

We have semi-seriously agreed that we will buy an old-lady house somewhere when we're all retired and live like the Golden Girls.

Every situation has its pros and cons. As a married lady in my fifties, the most likely scenario I see is taking care of DH when he ages and requires care. As I am female and younger, I will no doubt be alone by the time it is "my turn" to need help. Hello assisted living. I think the best bet is to probably just not get old!

I think it would be very possible to be happy alone. Having a relationship is nice IF it is a good one, but those can be rare.

+1

If I were divorced or widowed, I would never remarry. Too much work, too little payoff.

Sometimes I think marriage is just a big conspiracy to rope women into taking care of men and whatever children we have with them.

I laughed at big conspiracy. I think so too.


--OP

[Anonymous]

I am 57 , divorced for 5 years, and don't mind it a bit. Would be nice to have better gilfriends or a man friend to hang out with from time to time, but the price of freedom is well worth some loneliness, plus I still have kids in college, in and out, and a mother to care for. I always made significantly more than my ex, so there was not much downside to being single again, and actually a lot less disappointment.

[Anonymous]

I am in my fifties and married. If widowed or divorced I would consider remarriage but would have a major prenup. No co-mingling of assets. Slush fund for expenses on a residence only.

[Anonymous]

I do feel like it's a big conspiracy to rope women into taking care of men. But I wonder, why aren't we raising our men to take care of women and share 50/50 in life/houswork? Where is the disconnect? Surely these men were raised by women.