Is it time to move on from the private school? We feel like we're wasting our money.

[Anonymous]

We don't think DC is taking full advantage of what the school has to offer.
DC likes the school but is not motivated, and is an average student.
We struggle nightly to get DC to do homework.
DC's attitude is becoming progressively worse -- a real sense of entitlement and lack of respect (which may, in part, be due to the culture at DC's school)
It's a stretch for us to pay for the school.
Our local public school is good, just not diverse and without the arts, music and nice gym and foreign language exposure in DC's private school.

Please give any advise.

[Anonymous]

What grade is DC in? Have you spoken to a counselor at the school? The teachers? What support have they offered?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:We don't think DC is taking full advantage of what the school has to offer.
DC likes the school but is not motivated, and is an average student.
We struggle nightly to get DC to do homework.
DC's attitude is becoming progressively worse -- a real sense of entitlement and lack of respect (which may, in part, be due to the culture at DC's school)
It's a stretch for us to pay for the school.
Our local public school is good, just not diverse and without the arts, music and nice gym and foreign language exposure in DC's private school.

Please give any advise.

I've been struggling with this for the last 7 years. My DC has a B average and is just crusing along under this sense of entitlement that is counter to our family's values. We've endured homework battles and now we're battling issues of disrespect - certain its a carry over from the culture at school. I wish that we had pulled our DC out after the first year. We feared that the return to our local public schools would have made things even worse so stayed put. Talked to the admin at DC's school and they weren't helpful at all. They support DC. In our situation, I'd say that DC's school was a bad fit.

[Anonymous]

DC's in 3rd grade. The progress reports are average, nothing stellar -- and are consistent with what we are told in the parent teacher conferences. For DC school is just a place to have fun and hang out with friends. If learning happens in the process great -- if not, who cares. We recognize that DC is still young. But we've been paying for private school since Pre-K. Perhaps we're selfish or don't have the right perspective, but if DC is just going to be an average student and not benefit from all that the school has to offer, we'd rather save the money for perhaps when DC is more focused/motivated or for college and take advantage of our public school. We know someone has to fall in the middle of the pack, but we just don't want to pay that kind of money for mediocre performance (especially when DC seems so unappreciative and expectant).

[Anonymous]

You don't say how old your child is, but if if he/she is old enough to grasp that tuition is a financial strain on your family, I would let him/her own the situation and simply explain, "Look, it is expensive to send you to school, and you are not taking advantage of all that it has to offer by doing homework, etc. You can change that, or you can go to public school next year." Then follow through.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote: Talked to the admin at DC's school and they weren't helpful at all. They support DC. In our situation, I'd say that DC's school was a bad fit.

OP here. Yes, same here. The school doesn't see an issue and supports DC fully. We also feel there's a disconnect between our values and the culture at the school. We think DC's school is a bad fit, but it could just be DC (regardless of school).

[Anonymous]

May I ask both of you, since we're going through this process now, what made you think the school was a good fit in the first place, and then what revealed itself later on to make it a bad fit? What do you wish you had considered initially? Thanks.

[Anonymous]

OP, it sounds like you have answered your own questions and are ready to leave. Go for it!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:May I ask both of you, since we're going through this process now, what made you think the school was a good fit in the first place, and then what revealed itself later on to make it a bad fit? What do you wish you had considered initially? Thanks.

I wish we had not gotten caught up into the "big 3". The school's continued support of DC more than respect for us as parents was a signal. I wish we had considered a school that was more in line with our values.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:May I ask both of you, since we're going through this process now, what made you think the school was a good fit in the first place, and then what revealed itself later on to make it a bad fit? What do you wish you had considered initially? Thanks.

I wish we had not gotten caught up into the "big 3". The school's continued support of DC more than respect for us as parents was a signal. I wish we had considered a school that was more in line with our values.

Got caught up into the land of the "big 3," also. We mentioned our concerns to the school and was told that we should leave DC alone. Further, we were told that DC's B average is just fine, and that we shouldn't impose our expectations on DC. OP, it's time to pull your DC out, I think. MY DC is a junior now and is just getting the importance of gpa contrary to the school's bs position that the love of education is more important.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:May I ask both of you, since we're going through this process now, what made you think the school was a good fit in the first place, and then what revealed itself later on to make it a bad fit? What do you wish you had considered initially? Thanks.

I wish we had not gotten caught up into the "big 3". The school's continued support of DC more than respect for us as parents was a signal. I wish we had considered a school that was more in line with our values.

So that sense of entitlement is enabled by the school?

[Anonymous]

This is a very interesting thread. I am the mom of a public school 6 yr old. I think the attitude of entitlement can happen with any child, at public or private, esp. if you live in an affluent public school district/zone. The admin should really support the parents and take their concerns seriously. I am very surprised that both posters don't feel they are getting the support they need from the school and that the problem seems to have been going on for a long time. If this is the case, I am wondering what is keeping you at the school(s) now? I would suggest making a list of pros and cons and see which list is longer.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:May I ask both of you, since we're going through this process now, what made you think the school was a good fit in the first place, and then what revealed itself later on to make it a bad fit? What do you wish you had considered initially? Thanks.

I wish we had not gotten caught up into the "big 3". The school's continued support of DC more than respect for us as parents was a signal. I wish we had considered a school that was more in line with our values.

So that sense of entitlement is enabled by the school?

It is.

My DC started this school in grade 4 by grade 6, I begin to notice a shift in work ethic. Started making comments such as "why should I work so hard, they don't."

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:May I ask both of you, since we're going through this process now, what made you think the school was a good fit in the first place, and then what revealed itself later on to make it a bad fit? What do you wish you had considered initially? Thanks.

I wish we had not gotten caught up into the "big 3". The school's continued support of DC more than respect for us as parents was a signal. I wish we had considered a school that was more in line with our values.

So that sense of entitlement is enabled by the school?

It is.

My DC started this school in grade 4 by grade 6, I begin to notice a shift in work ethic. Started making comments such as "why should I work so hard, they don't."

OP here. PP, I get the feeling we're at the same school.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:This is a very interesting thread. I am the mom of a public school 6 yr old. I think the attitude of entitlement can happen with any child, at public or private, esp. if you live in an affluent public school district/zone. The admin should really support the parents and take their concerns seriously. I am very surprised that both posters don't feel they are getting the support they need from the school and that the problem seems to have been going on for a long time. If this is the case, I am wondering what is keeping you at the school(s) now? I would suggest making a list of pros and cons and see which list is longer.

Couple reasons. We're one of those "if you don't know what to do, do nothing" kind of people. It's not a pretty admission, but the "status" of DC being at the school is another reason. Fear of the unknown (our public school) is the other reason. But, this thread is definitely therapy, and helping me clear my head. Thanks for reading/responding.