HR Bitch, help -

[Anonymous]

As part of my formal performance appraisal process, I received some weird feedback. My manager said that someone else in our company (but diff dept) complained that I used the microwave in the pantry before her, even though she was next in line, and that this woman then complained to other people about me. I'd never go out of my way to do something rude, and it makes me uncomfortable that random office gossip is part of my review. Apparently other staff also complains that I leave meetings sometimes in the middle to fill up my water bottle. We have long meetings sometimes, and I usually fill up the water bottle when I need to go to the bathroom anyways. Thoughts on how to mitigate this? I only get positive comments on my actual work.

[Anonymous]

What in the actual fuck? This made it into a performance review???? Your boss is stupid.

[Anonymous]

I agree this is wack. Describe how frequently this water bottle filling occurs.

[Anonymous]

HR Bitch here: Let me think about this rather than answer you in a rush, because it's so weird I want to take my time.

[Anonymous]

The thing is people probably don't know that you are going to the bathroom - from their POV it just looks like you leave meetings. Look the solution is simple, stop leaving meetings in the middle.

The microwave feedback is so stupid I want to punch your boss in the face.

[Anonymous]

Was this verbal or in writing?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:The thing is people probably don't know that you are going to the bathroom - from their POV it just looks like you leave meetings. Look the solution is simple, stop leaving meetings in the middle.

The microwave feedback is so stupid I want to punch your boss in the face.

I'm human. Sometimes I will just have to go to the bathroom. On the water, I can stop drinking water at meetings, but that seems like a pretty petty complaint.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Was this verbal or in writing?

Verbal.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I agree this is wack. Describe how frequently this water bottle filling occurs.

Maybe once every week or two? When we have a meeting that is 2+ hours long.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:The thing is people probably don't know that you are going to the bathroom - from their POV it just looks like you leave meetings. Look the solution is simple, stop leaving meetings in the middle.

The microwave feedback is so stupid I want to punch your boss in the face.

I'm human. Sometimes I will just have to go to the bathroom. On the water, I can stop drinking water at meetings, but that seems like a pretty petty complaint.

While I agree that the two points are weird, I"m not sure if the getting up and leaving is a petty complaint. Does anyone else leave during the meeting? How often do you leave? I can see how if you are he only one leaving, and you leave more than once, people may find it disrupting, especially if they have to wait for you to come back to continue or catch you up. I don't know. Just trying to see it from their side I suppose. And maybe the microwave thing was a heads up that people are talking about you behind your back? That's the only way I can figure why he'd mention it.

Did you get a written review as well without these points listed? Maybe your boss was just trying to give you a heads up? While your performance may be great, if people are going around the office saying bad things about you, it can eventually harm your reputation. Just playing devil's advocate. I can't imagine bringing this up in a review.

[Anonymous]

Don't take your water bottle with you when you go to the bathroom.

The rest is weird.

[Anonymous]

If you regularly have meetings that are very long (more than 1.5 hours in a row), then suggest to the organizer that they have to build in a 5-10 minute break. Otherwise, unless you have a medical condition, I would think you should be able to sit through a meeting without needing to use the bathroom or to get more water (and if it's really just to get more water, then the solution is simple - get a larger water bottle). Depending on how formal these meetings are, I can totally see how your walking out of the meetings can be perceived as disruptive or rude, and also possibly showing a lack of interest/engagement.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:The thing is people probably don't know that you are going to the bathroom - from their POV it just looks like you leave meetings. Look the solution is simple, stop leaving meetings in the middle.

The microwave feedback is so stupid I want to punch your boss in the face.

I'm human. Sometimes I will just have to go to the bathroom. On the water, I can stop drinking water at meetings, but that seems like a pretty petty complaint.

While I agree that the two points are weird, I"m not sure if the getting up and leaving is a petty complaint. Does anyone else leave during the meeting? How often do you leave? I can see how if you are he only one leaving, and you leave more than once, people may find it disrupting, especially if they have to wait for you to come back to continue or catch you up. I don't know. Just trying to see it from their side I suppose. And maybe the microwave thing was a heads up that people are talking about you behind your back? That's the only way I can figure why he'd mention it.

Did you get a written review as well without these points listed? Maybe your boss was just trying to give you a heads up? While your performance may be great, if people are going around the office saying bad things about you, it can eventually harm your reputation. Just playing devil's advocate. I can't imagine bringing this up in a review.

I am pretty junior so I rarely participate or need to be briefed on what is going on in the meeting. I can see how one would think it is disruptive if they thought I was just getting water - so I can stop doing that but I will still need to go to the bathroom during most 2, 3, 4 hour meetings.

I think that IS why my manager brought up the microwave thing, but it's still gossip. I can't do much to counter gossip based on a perceived slight.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:If you regularly have meetings that are very long (more than 1.5 hours in a row), then suggest to the organizer that they have to build in a 5-10 minute break. Otherwise, unless you have a medical condition, I would think you should be able to sit through a meeting without needing to use the bathroom or to get more water (and if it's really just to get more water, then the solution is simple - get a larger water bottle). Depending on how formal these meetings are, I can totally see how your walking out of the meetings can be perceived as disruptive or rude, and also possibly showing a lack of interest/engagement.

OP here. Honest question - can most people usually go over 90 minutes without having to pee?

[Anonymous]

If I just drank a water bottle, no way.