Did anyone else hate law school?

[Anonymous]

I'm really just looking to see if other people had the same experiences in law school as I'm having (currently a 3L). I regularly post/read/lurk on popular law student message boards like TLS and sometimes even JDU if I want to depress myself for some reason, but you aren't anonymous on those boards like you are here.

I'm one of the people who actually really like the academic side of law school, despite a hellish 1L experience, and have a legal job lined up after graduation. But I hate the people. Although I'm on the introverted side, I usually love people and even managed to be quite socially successful on my own terms in high school, despite high school having much the same atmosphere as law school. College was an amazing experience, socially. I always found it easy to like people, or to think kindly of them at least. And then I came to law school, and shut down.

I think the tightly knit cliques formed within the first 2 weeks. Luckily I found 2 friends and we really bonded because everyone bonds during 1L. But I hated going to bar reviews every week and pretending to enjoy getting trashed with horribly judgy snooty unfriendly people. It is possible for me to be superficially nice and some of them are superficially nice right back, but I have never seen such mass-produced coldness as I did during the past 2 years here. How do they all party with each other and act like they all love each other? Many of them seem to genuinely love each other and I can't understand why. There is plenty of back-biting and bitchiness and cheating and incestuous dating and some really high-strung, emotionally unstable personalities here. And these same emotionally unstable, cold bitches seem to be VERY popular. Wait, does it sound like I'm in high school? I AM.

Never have I felt so socially inept as I do here. It's embarrassing to admit this (which is why I can't talk about this on law school message boards), but my self-confidence plummets when I'm with other law students, because they are just so unfriendly and make you feel uncomfortable. And this is unsettling because it is SUCH an alien experience to me - I'm used to being pretty chill in any social environment. But here it is like constantly going up against a cold wall of ice.

I didn't go to the Barrister's Ball even once - I rarely attend bar reviews or law school parties or just any social event centered around our student community, because I hate the people. And it sucks because they genuinely have a lot to offer in terms of intellect and cultivation and just their opinions. I can have good conversations with casual acquaintances every now and then, but it never develops into a friendship.

At this point, I'm really wondering what my legal career will be like. I have a Biglaw job offer that I got because a fellow social outcast (an alumnus from my school) took a liking to me, so it looks like I will have to start collecting a social network of other lawyers who hated the typical "law student personality". But many of the people at my firm are narcissists and, in other ways, remind me of my classmates (I summered there these past couple months). Should I just pay my loans off and save up hard for 5-6 years, and then bolt and do something where I can be with nice people? But will I feel like a professional failure?

Am I the only person who had this social experience in law school or are there any others?

[Anonymous]

Sorry to hear this. I don't have any experiences, but my neighbor graduated top 1% at UVA and then got a job with a top law firm here. He said the academics was easy for him, but the social environment, the smoozing has been to hardest part for him at his law firm. He decided to get a finance degree, but it's the same thing there too. Career mobility has been really hard as a result. It seems the social part is as important as academics when it comes to opportunities these days.

[Anonymous]

I had the same experience, although I didn't take it as personally because I found one similarly-minded friend. And I didn't mind staying to myself. I was there and all about social justice. The other students were all about their potential paycheck. And could they drink! I like a few drinks myself, but most were drinking hard most nights. 15 years out now for me, and several have had DUI charges. One was disbarred for other reasons. But I do wonder if the underlying cause was his drinking too much.

I work for government and I'm really happy. Love all the lawyers. Are you going for traditional career at a firm? What size firm? The friend who I really liked has worked at a mid-sized firm and has always been happy.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I'm really just looking to see if other people had the same experiences in law school as I'm having (currently a 3L). I regularly post/read/lurk on popular law student message boards like TLS and sometimes even JDU if I want to depress myself for some reason, but you aren't anonymous on those boards like you are here.

I'm one of the people who actually really like the academic side of law school, despite a hellish 1L experience, and have a legal job lined up after graduation. But I hate the people. Although I'm on the introverted side, I usually love people and even managed to be quite socially successful on my own terms in high school, despite high school having much the same atmosphere as law school. College was an amazing experience, socially. I always found it easy to like people, or to think kindly of them at least. And then I came to law school, and shut down.

I think the tightly knit cliques formed within the first 2 weeks. Luckily I found 2 friends and we really bonded because everyone bonds during 1L. But I hated going to bar reviews every week and pretending to enjoy getting trashed with horribly judgy snooty unfriendly people. It is possible for me to be superficially nice and some of them are superficially nice right back, but I have never seen such mass-produced coldness as I did during the past 2 years here. How do they all party with each other and act like they all love each other? Many of them seem to genuinely love each other and I can't understand why. There is plenty of back-biting and bitchiness and cheating and incestuous dating and some really high-strung, emotionally unstable personalities here. And these same emotionally unstable, cold bitches seem to be VERY popular. Wait, does it sound like I'm in high school? I AM.

Never have I felt so socially inept as I do here. It's embarrassing to admit this (which is why I can't talk about this on law school message boards), but my self-confidence plummets when I'm with other law students, because they are just so unfriendly and make you feel uncomfortable. And this is unsettling because it is SUCH an alien experience to me - I'm used to being pretty chill in any social environment. But here it is like constantly going up against a cold wall of ice.

I didn't go to the Barrister's Ball even once - I rarely attend bar reviews or law school parties or just any social event centered around our student community, because I hate the people. And it sucks because they genuinely have a lot to offer in terms of intellect and cultivation and just their opinions. I can have good conversations with casual acquaintances every now and then, but it never develops into a friendship.

At this point, I'm really wondering what my legal career will be like. I have a Biglaw job offer that I got because a fellow social outcast (an alumnus from my school) took a liking to me, so it looks like I will have to start collecting a social network of other lawyers who hated the typical "law student personality". But many of the people at my firm are narcissists and, in other ways, remind me of my classmates (I summered there these past couple months). Should I just pay my loans off and save up hard for 5-6 years, and then bolt and do something where I can be with nice people? But will I feel like a professional failure?

Am I the only person who had this social experience in law school or are there any others?

I loved it.

[Anonymous]

my DH did not like his classmates either, but really likes most of his colleagues at his firm. i wouldn't let your classmates get you down.

[Anonymous]

I suggest posting this on the jobs forum and ask instead about the people and culture at the type of place you are headed.

But to answer your question, there were more academically minded students and I stuck with them. Then I avoided gong to a huge law firm. I also work in govt now and like the people. My husband works with some great people at his govt job too- he never worked for a firm.

[Anonymous]

Totally agree!!! I did make one very close friend, and became good friends with a former classmate later, and that's it. You said it right - just like high school. Extremely unpleasant atmosphere. It's strange too, because individually there were a lot of nice, smart, interesting people. I think the pressure cooker/fishbowl atmosphere of 1L just messes everything up. The worst is the whole "gunner" phenomenon: show any sincerity and interest and you are deemed a "gunner." Ick.

In retrospect I wish I had spent more time doing activities with students who were interested in the same things - public interest clinics, etc. But I was really focused on studying my ass off and getting good grades. Which paid off but was not fun.

The good news is that practicing law is much more fun! Especially if you avoid big law.

[Anonymous]

I hated law school. I went to a very small law school and it was just crazy cliquey and competitive. I had a social life outside of law school and was dating my now husband who was not a lawyer and found my way through that. Lawyer life is NOTHING like law school and you will be fine.

[Anonymous]

Unfortunately, it direct stop after law school. Law firms are just as bad, if not worse.

[Anonymous]

Like everything, there were good peoe and not so good people. Once I found my group, I loved law school. Firm life is the same. I have some good friends from my job and other people I try to avoid. I have a lot less time for socializing at work as compared to law school, so it isn't a big deal.

[Anonymous]

I really enjoyed the academic aspects of law school. As for the social side, it was only so-so. I went to law school in the same city I had been working in prior to law school, so I maintained friendships outside of school. I made a couple of friends who I was close to during the 3 years, and one or two years after. But I am no longer really friends with anyone I attended law school with.

[Anonymous]

Hated law school and didn't do the social scene as hard as others did. My boyfriend at the time (now husband) was the same way. I have two friends from law school I still maintain contact with but we're by no means bffs. However I did get along with everyone. During school my husband and I did things that interested us (cooking, hiking etc) when we weren't studying. I do think a big piece of law is the social aspect.

[Anonymous]

OP here. I'm glad to hear that other people had the same experiences as me. (And for those of you who loved law school, I'm glad for you too.) I go to a school ranked between 20-30 not in DC, but I went to undergrad in DC and am coming back to the city to work in Biglaw.

I think after paying off my loans in Biglaw, I will transfer to a small/mid-size boutique or go into government. I really don't have the cut-throat personality and I don't even really know how to be cold. I hate giving these people genuine smiles and not getting a hello back, or just a tight little frozen smile in return.

[Anonymous]

DS disliked law school, found a few good friends, still friends with to this day. Finally found a law area that is enjoyable and a firm that is well run and a good place to work. Took a long time including several years outside of law.

If you're so unhappy now, you might think of a non-traditional law career. There are many lawyers in non-lawyer jobs. Life is what you make it and you deserve happiness and contentment.

[Anonymous]

Law school is so unlike practicing real law. It really was a strange place for me and I couldn't wait to get out of there.
However, I love being a lawyer. Work for the government and have trials/court appearances often. Did law school help me with this? Not really. I only found the first year in the classroom and then an internship in the agency where I am now to be practical. law school should just be a typ of trade school. Really. It doesn't mean anything if you can't use it for your career later. The last two years of law school were worthless to me in this regard.
Hang in there. The real world can be better.