How would you feel about this friend?

[Anonymous]

You're both from the same country.

You met in college when both were sent here by your parents to study.

Your parents struggle but make ends meet. You get several side jobs and make enough to support yourself. Friend is a child of a millionaire who never understood how hard is to earn money but friend is very very generous. Always picking up tabs and offering to help giving rides, etc.

You graduate together. Friend goes back home to take over family business. You stay and get a job in the field.

Time passes you keep contact. Whenever friend comes to US or you go back to home country both make a huge effort to meet.

Both get married the same year. Both have the fist child the same year. You have a second child. Friend is done with one. You haven't seen each other in 3 years but keep constant contact online and by phone.

Friend visits US. Friend sends you the itinerary and asks when you can meet (they're spending 4 days in each of 5 locations all over the US). You send the date and place - you decide to make this meeting part of your family vacay since you're flying 5 Hours to meet them. You're both extremely excited. You will finally meet each others kids!

Unfortunately, in between Your youngest child is diagnosed with a condition, can't fly and child has a crucial medical procedure scheduled for the period friend is here. You let friend know and apologize profusely for not being able to meet. You offer your place in case they want to come to your (extremely touristic) area.

Friend says "no big deal, maybe next time" via FB message.

Friend "disappears" and reappears once back in home country through pics of their "awesome trip".

Friend since them doesn't call or respond to messages sent by you.

How would you feel?

[Anonymous]

I would feel upset by them not responding to my messages, assuming she saw them. You had a real reason not to make it so they should be pissy about it, even indirectly.

[Anonymous]

You sound like a drama queen and included way too many irrelevant details.

Just ask her directly why she hasn't responded.

[Anonymous]

If you were going to fly 5 hours to meet them, why would you think they'd want to change their trip to meet you in whatever city you live, despite how 'touristic' it is?

[Anonymous]

If I learned my friend would not make to a much expected meeting because her baby was severely ill I'd do my best to meet them and show support.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:If you were going to fly 5 hours to meet them, why would you think they'd want to change their trip to meet you in whatever city you live, despite how 'touristic' it is?

+1. You're making this all about you. I understand that you have a history with her, but you were only one part of this overall trip. You couldn't meet up as planned so she moved on. Should she have moped the rest of the trip and not enjoyed herself? You have also lost contact, maybe you're not as close to her as you feel you are.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:If you were going to fly 5 hours to meet them, why would you think they'd want to change their trip to meet you in whatever city you live, despite how 'touristic' it is?

+1. You're making this all about you. I understand that you have a history with her, but you were only one part of this overall trip. You couldn't meet up as planned so she moved on. Should she have moped the rest of the trip and not enjoyed herself? You have also lost contact, maybe you're not as close to her as you feel you are.

Who said OP is the friend living in the US?

[Anonymous]

Are you both women? Men? or a Mixed set? It doesn't say in the posting...it almost seems you intentionally left that information out.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Are you both women? Men? or a Mixed set? It doesn't say in the posting...it almost seems you intentionally left that information out.

I left that info out because I didn't want gender stereotyping.

[Anonymous]

Interesting? But it appears this is the only time the OP would have paid to see the friend//that normally the friend comes to visit the OP. Maybe the friend is feeling they are "money" friends and are expected t pick up the tab. I know that's horrible to say,, but may be where friend is coming from.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Interesting? But it appears this is the only time the OP would have paid to see the friend//that normally the friend comes to visit the OP. Maybe the friend is feeling they are "money" friends and are expected t pick up the tab. I know that's horrible to say,, but may be where friend is coming from.

Read the OP again, they both make efforts to meet when they are in the same country.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:If you were going to fly 5 hours to meet them, why would you think they'd want to change their trip to meet you in whatever city you live, despite how 'touristic' it is?

+1. You're making this all about you. I understand that you have a history with her, but you were only one part of this overall trip. You couldn't meet up as planned so she moved on. Should she have moped the rest of the trip and not enjoyed herself? You have also lost contact, maybe you're not as close to her as you feel you are.

Quite the opposite. Read again... The friends kept contact through out the years taking constantly over the phone and Internet.

[Anonymous]

Ok but clearly you have gone your seperate ways if you haven't seen each other in 3 years

[Anonymous]

I'd be sad the friend never asked how my child is doing...

[Anonymous]

I would think this friend is not a friend in need. I think this friend is avoiding dealing with a difficult situation in the other friend's family in any way.