I'm the HR Bitch! Ask me Anything

[Anonymous]

I'm on the recruiting and hiring side, not the insurance side.

Here are the questions I get most at parties (other than 'can you get me a job?'):
1. Why are HR people such bitches? I think a lot of people fall into HR rather than wanting to go into it, so they're unhappy. Also, I think the people who fall into it assume they'll be considered management and receive a higher salary than they do.

2. Why are all HR people such narcs? Because although we try to give off the impression we're there for the employees, we're really there to protect the company. IMO, good HR people work very hard to balance the two, but see #1 above as to why that is often off balance.

[Anonymous]

do HR people purposefully avoid responding to emails in writing so as not to get caught grossly misinforming employees?

[Anonymous]

I work in HR and really hope you don't work for my organization, at least I hope you are not one of my staff.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:do HR people purposefully avoid responding to emails in writing so as not to get caught grossly misinforming employees?

Not the OP, but I always put things in email - maybe you have a crappy HR department.

[Anonymous]

Which is more likely the dream job of an HR employee -- clinical psychologist or labor lawyer?

[Anonymous]

Tell us your funniest helicopter parent of an applicantor employee story.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:do HR people purposefully avoid responding to emails in writing so as not to get caught grossly misinforming employees?

Not that I know of? It's possible some do. I keep a copy of our employee manual on my desk (and at home) to refer to and quote from when responding to emailed inquiries so that I'm sure my info is correct.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Which is more likely the dream job of an HR employee -- clinical psychologist or labor lawyer?

Labor lawyer.

[Anonymous]

Asked non-snarkily - do you answer your phone? The HR people at my former office NEVER answered there phones. They'd call you back 30 seconds after you left a message, but would never answer. I sort of assumed they were trained to do this.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Tell us your funniest helicopter parent of an applicantor employee story.

In the last few years we have begun getting parental involvement. It pops up unexpectedly. There was a woman who had to submit a writing sample and we found out later that her older sister wrote it for her at their parents' insistence. To me though, the best was the outtake photo series. A young man came for his first day, and just like kindergarten, his mother wanted to stay with him for a little while until she decided he was comfortable enough for him to leave. We have a two-day training schedule for new employees that's very tight - in some places it's broken down into 15-minute increments. One of the first things we do is to get new employees their work ID, complete with photo. We work with a professional photographer.

So I told the new employee that he could not bring anyone who was NOT an employee or client past a certain set of doors until he was past his probationary period, and that we really needed to stick to the schedule so it didn't get backed up. That he was expected on the 26th floor for his photo ID. We talked a bit more (I basically ignored the mother) and then I pointed him towards the elevators. When I next saw him the mother was gone.

Later that afternoon I got an email from the photographer that had the subject line "Outtakes!" Picture of new employee with his mom licking her fingers, pic of NE with mom smoothing down his hair, pic of NE with mom taking a pic of him HAVING HIS PIC TAKEN. Here is why I'm a bitch: I have this printed out and tacked up on my bulletin board in my office at home. Cracks me up every time.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Asked non-snarkily - do you answer your phone? The HR people at my former office NEVER answered there phones. They'd call you back 30 seconds after you left a message, but would never answer. I sort of assumed they were trained to do this.

Yes I do. I haven't worked anywhere where I was told NOT to answer my phone.

[Anonymous]

Is it true HR people were all "C" students in school and can't get a job in any other field? And is that way you seem to dislike people so much (thus calling yourself "bitch")?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Tell us your funniest helicopter parent of an applicantor employee story.

In the last few years we have begun getting parental involvement. It pops up unexpectedly. There was a woman who had to submit a writing sample and we found out later that her older sister wrote it for her at their parents' insistence. To me though, the best was the outtake photo series. A young man came for his first day, and just like kindergarten, his mother wanted to stay with him for a little while until she decided he was comfortable enough for him to leave. We have a two-day training schedule for new employees that's very tight - in some places it's broken down into 15-minute increments. One of the first things we do is to get new employees their work ID, complete with photo. We work with a professional photographer.

So I told the new employee that he could not bring anyone who was NOT an employee or client past a certain set of doors until he was past his probationary period, and that we really needed to stick to the schedule so it didn't get backed up. That he was expected on the 26th floor for his photo ID. We talked a bit more (I basically ignored the mother) and then I pointed him towards the elevators. When I next saw him the mother was gone.

Later that afternoon I got an email from the photographer that had the subject line "Outtakes!" Picture of new employee with his mom licking her fingers, pic of NE with mom smoothing down his hair, pic of NE with mom taking a pic of him HAVING HIS PIC TAKEN. Here is why I'm a bitch: I have this printed out and tacked up on my bulletin board in my office at home. Cracks me up every time.

This. Is awesome.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Tell us your funniest helicopter parent of an applicantor employee story.

In the last few years we have begun getting parental involvement. It pops up unexpectedly. There was a woman who had to submit a writing sample and we found out later that her older sister wrote it for her at their parents' insistence. To me though, the best was the outtake photo series. A young man came for his first day, and just like kindergarten, his mother wanted to stay with him for a little while until she decided he was comfortable enough for him to leave. We have a two-day training schedule for new employees that's very tight - in some places it's broken down into 15-minute increments. One of the first things we do is to get new employees their work ID, complete with photo. We work with a professional photographer.

So I told the new employee that he could not bring anyone who was NOT an employee or client past a certain set of doors until he was past his probationary period, and that we really needed to stick to the schedule so it didn't get backed up. That he was expected on the 26th floor for his photo ID. We talked a bit more (I basically ignored the mother) and then I pointed him towards the elevators. When I next saw him the mother was gone.

Later that afternoon I got an email from the photographer that had the subject line "Outtakes!" Picture of new employee with his mom licking her fingers, pic of NE with mom smoothing down his hair, pic of NE with mom taking a pic of him HAVING HIS PIC TAKEN. Here is why I'm a bitch: I have this printed out and tacked up on my bulletin board in my office at home. Cracks me up every time.

This is awesome!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Is it true HR people were all "C" students in school and can't get a job in any other field? And is that way you seem to dislike people so much (thus calling yourself "bitch")?

It's not true for me. I was a solid A/B student. I fell into this field while working part-time in college, decided I liked it, and would make it my bitch. I can't speak for others.