How soon did you let your child have overnight visits?

[Anonymous]

I have a 6 week old son and my MIL has been bugging since he was two weeks about taking him for a weekend. I told her I'm still on maternity leave and he's still little so I want to spend this time bonding. For some reason, my MIL doesn't understand this and has complained to my DH about me "hogging" the baby. She told him she left him with her mother every other weekend when he was born. DH told me to let his mom keep him for a weekend so he can get a good night sleep. I don't really think I'm hogging him, but I do think it's too early for overnight visits. There will be plenty of time for that when he's a little older. Am I the only one who feels that way?

[Anonymous]

Your son can stay at your MIL's house when he's 6. As in 6 years old.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Your son can stay at your MIL's house when he's 6. As in 6 years old.

LOL! I like that answer, but I doubt MIL and DH would go for that.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Your son can stay at your MIL's house when he's 6. As in 6 years old.

LOL! I like that answer, but I doubt MIL and DH would go for that.

Tough. You are the Mama. If Mama ain't happy, ain't nobody happy.

[Anonymous]

Not for a year or two. Especially if BFing

[Anonymous]

Maybe 12 months

[Anonymous]

Explain he's too young right now, and you'll reconsider when he's older. I doubt she wants to handle overnight wakings anyway (and if she did, how would she handle it? Parenting knowledge and approaches are much different now then when she was raising kids)

We allowed overnights with grandparents starting when they were toddlers.

[Anonymous]

6 weeks is insane, especially if you are nursing. Insane. I would say maybe 18-24 months? Whenever both parents and the child are all comfortable with it. What is her rush?

[Anonymous]

18 months, maybe? if you trust her?

I remember when my son was 6 months old, my mom started talking smack about how I should send him to her for TWO MONTHS over the summer, starting when he was 3. I got upset, riled up, etc....but as soon as he hit the terrible twos (closer to 20 months) she changed her tune and now, she can't really even keep up with him at 3.5 years old and now I wish she would take him (and the baby) for a night or two--DH and I are dying for some time off--but she doesn't feel up to it.

[Anonymous]

Your husband is out of his mind. No f-ing way would anyone sane EVER let a six week old baby spend the night, much less the weekend, with a grandmother unless it were an emergency. That is absolutely and utterly absurd. Aren't you nursing him in the middle of the night anyway? He is an infant for God's sake.

I agree with the 6 years old actually. Your MIL can babysit if you go out to dinner or for an afternoon but, until he is comfortable sleeping away from mommy and daddy, she does not get to demand anything.

As for you MIL saying you are "hogging" the baby - he is YOUR BABY! You can't hog your own baby. She sounds like a controlling interfering bitch quite honestly.

I am sure you an tell I am outraged by your MIL's attitude and even more so by how stupid and unsupportive our husband is. Sounds like you are in for some huge boundary issues OP. mi wish you luck and the best thing to do now is stand firm.

[Anonymous]

Good grief - why should you have to pump for days so your MIL can play mom? That is absolutely ridiculous.

And you can't hog your own baby. Ever.

[Anonymous]

My son started sleepovers with my parents at about 2.5 years old. It started because I was on bedrest with twins, but it was the perfect time. He had a blast and continues to do so now. I could never imagine any mother asking another mother to take an infant for an overnight. That's ridiculous!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Your husband is out of his mind. No f-ing way would anyone sane EVER let a six week old baby spend the night, much less the weekend, with a grandmother unless it were an emergency. That is absolutely and utterly absurd. Aren't you nursing him in the middle of the night anyway? He is an infant for God's sake.

I agree with the 6 years old actually. Your MIL can babysit if you go out to dinner or for an afternoon but, until he is comfortable sleeping away from mommy and daddy, she does not get to demand anything.

As for you MIL saying you are "hogging" the baby - he is YOUR BABY! You can't hog your own baby. She sounds like a controlling interfering bitch quite honestly.

I am sure you an tell I am outraged by your MIL's attitude and even more so by how stupid and unsupportive our husband is. Sounds like you are in for some huge boundary issues OP. mi wish you luck and the best thing to do now is stand firm.

Thanks! I'm going to stand firm. I just hate that this is causing conflict between DH and I.

[Anonymous]

OP this is CRAZY. Nip this in the bud now. Not just your MIL, but your husband. Who are these men who are such terrible cowards when it comes to doing the right thing? Who know nothing about what a baby needs? I'm sorry, but he wants to ship baby out so he can get a good night's sleep? Sorry, OP, that you have to educate your husband on what your baby needs (MAMA) but you'd better get on that. And DH needs to tell his own mommy to step off. I'm all for bonding, but this is just so insane I am actually having a hard time believing that anyone would seriously make that request.

If your DH is controlling about this that is another issue completely. If you don't get your way on this, dig in. And get backup if needed. Your pediatrician will back you up here; share that you are worried that your DH and his mother are trying to push you into sending the baby away for a night and he / she will correct that thinking.

Seriously, though, someone needs to line your DH and his mom up and give them a good slapping, assembly line style.

[Anonymous]

My son started staying overnight occasionally at my mom's place when he was around 14 months old. He had a blast. Since it was just one night and we were already well established in nursing, it didn't make a great difference in that regard. 6 weeks is too soon.