Is unconditional love possible?

[Anonymous]

When I think of "unconditional love," I think of a parent's love for their child.

I'm currently not speaking to one of my siblings. I feel like they have gone out of their way to be unkind, selfish, and lie - and I feel especially wronged, because I know I've done a hell of a lot for that particular sibling, and I feel like I deserve better. They don't need to do stuff or "pay me back" or anything - but simple honestly and thoughtfulness go a long way, but they can't even return that.

Family and others keep telling me I should "forgive" them and "let bygones be bygones" because family is supposed to unconditionally love one another (aforementioned sibling has never apologized or expressed remorse for their behavior). I think unconditional love, outside of love for one's children, is bullshit. In order to maintain a healthy relationship, everyone needs something in return - from their spouse, siblings, family, friends, etc. At least some kindness, some generosity, some thoughtfulness, some honesty is critical, I think.

Am I wrong? I feel like I'm at the point where I don't think I love this particular sibling. I don't hate them, but I just don't care.

What do you think about "unconditional love?" Is it possible/not possible to love someone if they give you absolutely nothing back that's positive?

[Anonymous]

I think unconditional love, in its truest sense, is really only applicable to the love parents have for children, as you said.

Beyond that, you probably still love your sister in a way, but are just really, really angry at them. I think you can also tell your family to back off, that you'll forgive and forget when you are damn well ready. Which may be never.

[Anonymous]

I think it is rare, even for the parent-child relationship. Would you still love your kid if they became a serial killer? If they killed their sibilings?

Most parents are never put under these dire situations to find out. And even if the love is gone, it's even hard for a parent to admit it to anyone but themself.

[Anonymous]

My love for my children is 110% unconditional. If my child grew up to be a mass murderer or a child molester {God Forbid!!}, I would still love him.

I would be very angry at him for his actions and would even apologize to others for his bad behaviors.
I wouldn't support him in a court of law and surely would not be his enabler.

But in all honesty, even if I didn't "like" my child, I would still "love" him. My love for him will continue to exist until the day one of us leaves this earth.

Call me strange. Call me an idiot.
Just don't call me heartless.

Pets also love unconditionally.
No matter how you treat them, you will always be their one and only.
They will always put you on their pedestals and be loyal to you for life.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I think it is rare, even for the parent-child relationship. Would you still love your kid if they became a serial killer? If they killed their sibilings?

Most parents are never put under these dire situations to find out. And even if the love is gone, it's even hard for a parent to admit it to anyone but themself.

Only have one kid, but yes, absolutely I'd love my kid just as fiercely if she were a serial killer. Hopefully I won't have to face that situation...

[Anonymous]

I don't have unconditional love even for my kids. If they murder someone on purpose (not in self-defense) I won't love them anymore.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Pets also love unconditionally.
No matter how you treat them, you will always be their one and only.
They will always put you on their pedestals and be loyal to you for life.

This is true. Humans aren't capable because we're too smart for that. Or at least we should be. I guess some aren't.

[Anonymous]

Humans are self serving. No love is 100% unconditional.

[Anonymous]

Unconditional love for your children is really conditional. You wouldn't love them IF they were not your kids. There's you condition.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Unconditional love for your children is really conditional. You wouldn't love them IF they were not your kids. There's you condition.

Sure but that's not really contingent, is it. If humans were not human, but rather some other species that didn't care for their offspring, then you wouldn't love your kids either.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Unconditional love for your children is really conditional. You wouldn't love them IF they were not your kids. There's you condition.

Sure but that's not really contingent, is it. If humans were not human, but rather some other species that didn't care for their offspring, then you wouldn't love your kids either.

Are we talking about humans or animals here now?

[Anonymous]

"Pets also love unconditionally.
No matter how you treat them, you will always be their one and only.
They will always put you on their pedestals and be loyal to you for life. "

Until you open the front door. Whoosh!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Unconditional love for your children is really conditional. You wouldn't love them IF they were not your kids. There's you condition.

Sure but that's not really contingent, is it. If humans were not human, but rather some other species that didn't care for their offspring, then you wouldn't love your kids either.

Are we talking about humans or animals here now?

More of an "If ifs and buts were candy and nuts we'd all have a Merry Christmas" critique.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:When I think of "unconditional love," I think of a parent's love for their child.

I'm currently not speaking to one of my siblings. I feel like they have gone out of their way to be unkind, selfish, and lie - and I feel especially wronged, because I know I've done a hell of a lot for that particular sibling, and I feel like I deserve better. They don't need to do stuff or "pay me back" or anything - but simple honestly and thoughtfulness go a long way, but they can't even return that.

Family and others keep telling me I should "forgive" them and "let bygones be bygones" because family is supposed to unconditionally love one another (aforementioned sibling has never apologized or expressed remorse for their behavior). I think unconditional love, outside of love for one's children, is bullshit. In order to maintain a healthy relationship, everyone needs something in return - from their spouse, siblings, family, friends, etc. At least some kindness, some generosity, some thoughtfulness, some honesty is critical, I think.

Am I wrong? I feel like I'm at the point where I don't think I love this particular sibling. I don't hate them, but I just don't care.

What do you think about "unconditional love?" Is it possible/not possible to love someone if they give you absolutely nothing back that's positive?

But when it's unconditional love you shouldn't expect reciprocity. And true love is by choice. You can't force someone to love. They have to choose to love you and make that choice. Love is patient, love is kind,

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I don't have unconditional love even for my kids. If they murder someone on purpose (not in self-defense) I won't love them anymore.

I hope to never face the situation, but I agree that I'm not sure I would love my child if he was a serial killer. While that love is fierce and consuming, I'm not convinced it is unconditional.